


A Lady Never Tells Where She Hides Her Triforce Piece

by egnirys



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, 閃乱カグラ | Senran Kagura
Genre: F/F, Female Link (Legend of Zelda), Ganondorf (Legend of Zelda) is a busty schoolgirl, Link (Legend of Zelda) has an unexplained twin sister for some reason, Linkle (Legend of Zelda) has no sense of direction, POV Link (Legend of Zelda), Selectively Mute Link (Legend of Zelda), really everyone is a busty schoolgirl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:00:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 46,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24480925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egnirys/pseuds/egnirys
Summary: The beginning of a crossover that absolutely NO ONE asked for!Link, Zelda, and Ganondorf are constantly being reincarnated in slightly different forms, playing out the same story repeatedly... but this time, they've all been reincarnated as busty ninja girls, and students at Hanzo, Gessen, and Hebijo respectively.  And the Triforce pieces are in the ninja scrolls... so schoolgirl!Ganondorf has some searching cut out for her...
Relationships: Asuka/Homura (Senran Kagura), Haruka (Senran Kagura)/Linkle (Legend of Zelda), Haruka/Hibari/Yagyuu (Senran Kagura), Imu/Miyabi (Senran Kagura), Katsuragi (Senran Kagura)/Ganondorf (Legend of Zelda), Katsuragi (Senran Kagura)/Linkle (Legend of Zelda), Katsuragi (Senran Kagura)/Zelda (Legend of Zelda), Murasaki (Senran Kagura)/Linkle (Legend of Zelda), Ryona (Senran Kagura)/Original Character, Yomi (Senran Kagura)/Linkle (Legend of Zelda), Yumi (Senran Kagura)/Linkle (Legend of Zelda)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 9





	1. Link is a Moe Anime Girl

I couldn't help but wonder what my new classmates were going to think of me after I was late to school on my own first day. I mean, it wasn't _the_ first day. Just for me and my sister, because we just moved here. But _she_ wasn't late. Tris didn't oversleep at all. She woke up in time to make pancakes from scratch for both of us and everything. But I couldn't get up, because I was stuck having those weird dreams again.

The ones I always end up with, where there are all these weird fantasy things like fairies and stuff. Sometimes there are forests full of elf looking kids. Sometimes there are vast oceans full of pirates. And that one with the yeti in it, I swear it freaks me out so bad that one day I'm gonna piss myself. But in all of them I'm a guy for some reason.

I was definitely not a guy in this universe, I can tell you that. This school has uniforms with button up blouses, and let me tell you, it took me forever to get the top couple of buttons shut. Even after that, it just kind of felt precarious, like if I moved around too much, one of them was gonna pop. Which is bad. Because, uh, this school is partially a front for training shinobi. Like, most of it is regular, but a handful of students are there to learn to fight and crap. And, uh, I was about to be one of those. I already was semi proficient with swords, bows, and crossbows, and just needed to get better. And to learn how to focus. And, uh, not oversleep. But, other than that, I'm pretty good, if I can say that about myself.

And so if I was going to make a remotely decent impression on my classmates, I had to hurry my ass up. That meant rolling two pancakes up like scrolls and clutching them in my fists while I charged down the sidewalk, and chomping on them whenever I got a free second. Damn it. The weird male dream version of myself would be able to summon a horse at a time like this. But then I'm not sure where you leave a horse in a school parking lot. I guess you just let it go wherever it wants until you summon it again?

I wished I had a horse. It's not easy to run and cram a rolled up pancake in your mouth at the same time. Speaking of things that roll up, I had to make sure I remembered my ninja art scroll. I had it on me, hidden... somewhere... but like I'm gonna let anyone _else_ know where.

And the whole time, I just kept thinking to myself... _do not fail me, button_.

Once I got to the school building itself... crap. That's a big school. Multiple buildings and everything. And it's not like I could have asked any student I saw where I was supposed to go, because not every student is part of the ninja program. Not every student knows the ninja program exists. They're not supposed to know it exists. So yeah. The information I got said something about a hidden door in one of the buildings, but... so _many_ buildings. And the buildings are numbered, but they're not even in a straight line, so I feel like I've passed building two on the way to building one. Unless I didn't.

I must have paced past the same place enough times that the other students started to notice, because they started staring at me. A couple of them came up to me and asked me if I was new, if I was lost, if I needed help finding anything. That kind of thing. Which leads to another problem.

Ever heard of selective mutism? Like, when social anxiety or trauma or other weird mental stuff all combines in your brain and makes it so you can only talk _some_ of the time? And when you're freaking out because of being late for school and not even being able to find the secret passageway to your classroom, that's obviously going to be an instance of not being able to say words? And then people are asking you stuff and you know you _can't_ tell them you're looking for a secret passageway even if you _could_ form words so you shake your head no and are kind of like “AAAAA.”

And they ask you what's wrong? “AAAAA.” What class are you supposed to be in? “AAAAA.” Can you not say words? “AAAAA.” Why can't you say words? And at that point you can't even go “AAAAA” and instead just give them a look. A look that says, without words, “if I can't say words, and you're asking me why I can't say words, how do you expect me to be able to suddenly say words about why I can't say words?” And I just kind of stormed away after _that_ one.

I was _two hours_ late to class.

“There you are!” Tris called out to me, relieved but definitely not surprised. I wanted to tell her she should have had the courtesy to wait for me before she left, even after I overslept, so she could show me the passageway and I wouldn't have gotten lost. We would both have been late, but maybe half an hour late, not just me being _two hours_ late. But she just left me there and made me look like an idiot. And since I couldn't currently make words, I looked like even more of an idiot.

“Miss Linkle.” The teacher gave me a stern look. Thankfully I remembered being told that his name is Mr. Kiriya. So I didn't have to (try and fail to) ask. “If you're two hours late to a shinobi mission, do you know what that makes you? Dead, most likely.” Rub it in, why don't you? “What do you have to say for yourself?”

“AAAAA.”

“She can only talk _sometimes_ ,” Tris explained for me. “You know what, Mr. Kiriya? I'm sorry. I probably should have waited, and come with her, and helped her get here. It's my fault. Don't get mad at her.”

He just scowled.

“And she's about to be part of the _elite_ class?” A girl with silvery pigtails and an eye patch started talking shit immediately.

“Why didn't you just ask someone for help?” another girl asked, a girl with pink hair and the freakiest eyes I have ever seen.

A girl with long dark hair shook her head. “She can't ask just anyone for help, Hibari. The school's shinobi program is a secret, remember?”

“Oh, yeah. Whoops.”  
I sat right next to Hibari after that. She seemed like she wasn't going to talk shit about me, and maybe it was mean of me to think this, but at least being next to _her_ might make me look less bad.

“Don't sit down yet,” the girl with long dark hair said to me, _after_ I'd already sat down. “First thing's first, we need you to spar against one of the upperclassmen. Since you're new, we need to see what your current skill level is at, before we can know what to teach you.”

“I wanna do it!” a blonde girl called out. I glanced over at her, and noticed that... well, she and I had similar button issues, except she gave up and let the button win at some point.

I vowed to myself then that I would never let myself be defeated by a _button_.

“I'm the class representative,” dark hair girl said.

“I'm an upperclassman too, y'know.” The blonde girl pouted.

“Okay, Kat, fine. But if you try anything funny—”

She had already hopped to her feet. “You ready, Linkle? Come at me with everything you got!” And before I could react, she had pulled her scroll out, and focused her energy into it. Dark chains of shadow surrounded us, blocking us from the other students, or even the teacher. Her school uniform transformed into a battle outfit that was pretty similar to the uniform itself, except that now she lost the battle with _every_ button. And her weapon appeared for her... on her feet. Huge weighted shoes. She took a fighting stance, and waited for me to use my scroll next.

So I did.

While I let my transformation happen, I thought to myself that I should start basic today, and just use a sword and shield, instead of trying to be fancy with bows or crossbows or whatever. So my weapons materialized as such. So did my outfit, a simple green tunic and boots. The front of the tunic laced up with leathery cords. Finally, I didn't have to worry about the button.

I couldn't even get into a good battle stance before she came charging at me with a running jump kick. I held up my shield, and her massive metal shoe clanked against it, but it was still enough force to knock me back onto my butt. I had to scramble to my feet to attack back, swinging my sword at her as soon as I could. I was able to slice near her ample chest, thankfully not drawing any blood quite yet. That seemed to be one of the powers of the scrolls, keeping any blades or bullets or anything from breaking flesh. However, it didn't protect clothing. I didn't want to know that she had a blue and white striped half-of-a-bra thing holding her boobs underneath her straight-up open shirt. But I knew now. And I winced at having to see it.

She laughed out loud at me. “You'll get used to that, new kid!” And she used my moment of being taken aback to charge at me and kick me square in the chest, blades of mystical energy appearing out of the soles of her shoes like roller blades. She sliced through the cords holding the front of my tunic shut. “How 'bout we see what you got, huh?” And as I scrambled to regain my balance, she leered right down into the gap she'd sliced. “Pale pink with little hearts, huh? _Cute_.”

I could feel my own face turn red. That was it. It was _on_.

I held out my sword in front of me for a moment, so that if she came to kick me again, she'd run right into it. And as I held it out, I focused my energy into it, filling it with power. Then, once I let that energy release, it unleashed a violent spin attack. I let myself twirl in an intense pirouette, somehow not getting dizzy, as the blade sliced this Kat girl again and again. It sliced her open blouse, and her skirt, until she was standing there in literally nothing but her blue stripey undergarments. Until she got the wind knocked out of her and fell to the ground. Until she was crumpled to the floor, grimacing in pain.

“Okay, okay!” Kat called out. “I get it. You're strong. You beat me. Geez!” And with that, the shadowy chains dissipated, and our torn battle outfits were both replaced by regular school uniforms again. I glared at my own straining button, although at this point, I guessed it was a lost cause. Kat had already seen and announced that my bra was pale pink with little hearts. That info had already been compromised.

Mr. Kiriya was standing there taking notes on a clipboard. I half expected him to leer at either of us, but it seemed he was professional enough that it didn't faze him at all to be surrounded by busty barely legal schoolgirls in their bras and panties...

Being the nice girl I am, I went over to Kat, and reached my hand out to help her up off the floor. She took my hand and hoisted herself to her feet. But then she pounced on me, making me let out an instinctive squeak. I'd thought the fight was over.

And apparently it was... because now she wasn't attacking me. Just... just...

Groping my boobs.

“Kat! I told you!” The class representative girl looked pissed.

“I gotta do it, I gotta!” Kat had me pinned to the ground, squeezing the crap out of my boobs, and then pressed her face into them, laughing raucously. “It's a rite of passage, dammit!”

“She already did it to me,” Tris said, sighing. “I would've warned you, but I didn't get a chance.”

The rest of the class, and Mr. Kiriya, all seemed unfazed. A girl with a ponytail and a little red kerchief around her neck just laughed sheepishly.

“We've all been there,” she said. I guessed this was just... Kat's... goodwill... friendship... thing...? Thankfully she finally stopped groping me and got off me. I scrambled to my feet and tried to catch my breath.

“You're quite skilled with a sword, Miss Linkle,” Mr. Kiriya said, nodding at me and his clipboard notes. “I hear you also use a bow with different elemental arrows, and can even dual wield crossbows?”

“Mmmmhmmm.” I nodded.

“I'm interested to see what you can do. For now, you're all dismissed for lunch.”

“Oh, yeah! Tris and Linkle, I brought you guys some sushi from my granddad's restaurant,” kerchief girl called out, before dashing over to her locker.

“Homemade sushi? Hell yes.” Tris chased after that girl, going to give her a high five.

I just sat down next to freaky eyes Hibari, who just sat there as pigtails eye patch girl brought her lunchbox to her so she wouldn't even have to get up. The lunchbox had bunnies on it, and when she opened it up, it was only full of donuts and candy.

“Not as dumb as you look,” pigtails eye patch girl said.

“Yagyuu, be nice!” Hibari puffed out her cheeks at her friend.

“I'm not going to be nice to someone who hasn't earned it,” Yagyuu said.

“Well, you're nice to _me_ ,” Hibari said.

“Y-you...” Yagyuu was blushing. Looks like someone had a crush. “You earn it by being a really sweet, nice person...”

Well, damn it, I've always been sweet and nice too. And I can fight, with a bunch of different weapons. So even if I did always oversleep, and always get lost, and can't say words that much... I was gonna earn Yagyuu's nice. Whether she liked it or not. I'd impress the whole elite class.

Kerchief girl and Tris sat next to me, and handed me a big, long, thick sushi roll. I bit into it. That girl's grandpa sure knew what he was doing when he made sushi. I guessed I had to watch how I was putting it in my mouth though. Kat was already leering again...

I mean, not the worst first day, even if I was two hours late.


	2. Like, Totally a Weird Coincidence

Tris and I were walking home together after school, when she came to a sudden stop in front of me, causing me to bump into her. The tip of my shoe got caught on the back of hers, and I flailed in place for a moment before regaining my balance.

“Look, a cafe that sells bubble tea!”

“Ehhhh?” It was still hard for me to put words together, even though the day was over and I was only with my sister now.

“We should get some. We had a successful first day at a new school, so we deserve it.”

“Mmm-mmm.” I shook my head no. I wanted to get home as soon as possible, to change out of my school uniform. So people wouldn't be able to look right at me and know where I went to school, which seemed super counter-intuitive for literal ninjas. And so the button that was still straining would be less likely to pop.

“I know, I know, we don't need it, but I didn't say we needed it. We _deserve_ it.”

“Mmm-mmm.” I shook my head again and tugged at my crisp white uniform top.

“Yeah, I guess we could go home and change first,” Tris said, shrugging. “But after that, we're definitely coming back here to get bubble tea.” I was glad she always seemed to be able to tell what I was trying to say, even if I was physically incapable of saying it at the moment. Well, she _should_ be able to by now, having been a voice for me long enough.

We finished our walk to our apartment, a compact little one bedroom place in a tall apartment building not far from downtown. I rushed into the bedroom to change. We had divided the room right down the middle with a long piece of painter's tape, so it was clear which side was Tris' and which was mine. This had been Tris' idea, and while it might seem a little petty, I totally understood why she wanted to do it. 'Cause her side was always immaculately clean, and mine looked like a tornado hit it. The door was on her side, so she didn't have to walk through any of my slop.

Really, everything on her side was packed neatly on shelves or into clear labeled bins. But I never had the mental energy for any of that. Mine was chaos. But organized chaos! I knew exactly where everything was based on the last place I put it. If I wanted to pick up the next fantasy comic book I'd planned on reading, I could pull it out of the towering stack of books in a second, even though all the young adult novels and the slice of life comic books would be on top of it. If I felt like playing with my slingshot, I could grab it out of another giant pile without even having to look. If Tris was in the other room and I wanted to snag some of my hidden marshmallows, from the bag I didn't want her to know about because she'd either steal them or get on my case for keeping food in the bedroom... yeah. Shush. She doesn't even have room to talk when she lives on cookies.

So it didn't take me long to find one of my favorite t-shirts, in the clean clothes pile, after stepping past the dirty clothes pile and the worn-a-few-times-recently-but-clean-enough-to-wear-again pile. It was a faded grayish green, with a weird symbol on it consisting of a minimalist red bird and a yellow triangle made out of three smaller triangles. I wasn't sure where I'd even gotten this shirt, but something about it seemed... familiar and comforting. Maybe if I wore it, it would soothe me enough that I'd be able to string words together at the cafe. Or maybe not. I changed into it, and a pair of plain but equally faded jeans. She'd changed into something similar, except her t-shirt was blue with a cartoon cat eating pizza on it. Always with the cat stuff...

And with that, we headed back to the cafe, leaving me in awe of Tris' mental ability to _know where it was_. How'd she remember what street it was on or what store it was next to or anything? That's the kind of stuff I'd need to write down... and still have trouble finding it again even with the necessary info... A lot of stores look the same.

The cafe was surprisingly empty for the end of a school day. You'd think a bunch of students would come right here after class let out. Well, maybe they'd already come and gone, since we'd taken the time to go back to the apartment to change clothes. Right. Duh. Anyway, there was only one girl sitting there, a blonde girl our age, taking her time with her coffee while having a loud conversation on her phone. She had on a school uniform of her own, but a different one, long sleeved and all grey with black stockings under the skirt.

Tris charged up to the counter, ignoring the other girl's presence in pursuit of bubble tea. I followed behind her, but slower. Trying to be more aware of our surroundings.

“They have Nutella bubble tea!” Tris squealed, before turning to the guy at the counter. “Um, hi. One blended Nutella bubble tea please, with the plain tapioca boba, and one blended matcha bubble tea, with some plain boba and then some strawberry jelly.” Yeah, that was a pretty expected order. She had always been a huge chocoholic, with hazelnut being her second favorite flavor, and if she could combine them, you bet she was going to. And what she ordered for me was exactly what I wanted. Matcha was always my favorite, the way chocolate was hers. Its earthy grassy flavor felt so healthy and natural, even if I did ruin it with all that sugar and milk. Combining it with strawberry jelly just kind of gives you the beverage form of... being in the woods or something, enjoying nature and picking berries? Which is weird that I always think that, because I've never lived anywhere _near_ woods.

We got our teas and sat a couple of tables away from grey uniform wearing loud phone girl. It was probably rude of me, but I basically straight up eavesdropped as we sat there. I mean, if she can't tell I'm eavesdropping, it's not rude, right? And it's not like I was going to do anything with whatever I found out about her. It was just practicing an important ninja skill.

“Yeah, I like the new transfer student we got today. She's, like, really nice. She's from some rich family too, like, I think her dad has even more money than mine ever did. But he, like, doesn't even give her his credit card to use whenever she wants, so what's with that? That's, like, totally not even fair. What's the point of making a whole bunch of money if, like, you're not gonna let your own daughter spend it whenever she wants, right?” She slurped from her cup. “But, like, she says she doesn't even mind. Like she's gotta be all responsible and shit. I mean, like, I like her, but biiiitch, like, live a little. I even, like, told her. Steal your dad's credit card and go shopping with me, biiiitch.”

“That's so weird,” Tris said. Apparently she'd been listening in on phone girl too, but maybe it was involuntary, since phone girl was so loud anyway. It was kind of hard not to overhear her. “Some other school got a new transfer student today too? I mean, we're—”

I stomped on Tris' foot. Did she not realize what she almost said? We're ninjas. We can't be letting random cafe phone girls know about our business.

“The hell was that for—oh.”

Shit. The other girl had just finished her phone call, and so she'd noticed us. She looked up at us, and stood up, and was approaching our table. I had half a mind to grab my tea and charge out of the cafe, but that'd be suspicious. So it looked like I was about to have to endure the _worst_ thing.

A social situation.

“Hey, I've, like, never seen you two around here before. Are you, like, new? That's totally weird if you are, 'cause, like, I just got a new transfer student in my class too. Must be, like, the time of year, right?” She gave a fake laugh. “My name's Shiki. Who are you two?”

“Uh, my name's Tris. And this is my sister Linkle.” She was careful not to volunteer any extra information this time.

“Yeah. So, like, where do you guys go to school? 'Cause really, I haven't seen you around here before. And, like, I know everyone in this town. So spill it.”

“We go to Hanzo Academy,” Tris said, her voice sharp and impatient. “Why not tell us where you go to school, Shiki?”

“Oh, yeah, duh, I forgot. I go to Gessen. I mean, like, if you were from around here, you'd know by the uniform, but since you're new, like, you wouldn't know. But now you know. So, like, Hanzo, huh? I know some girls from there. They're pretty cool. We... used to have some beef, but now we're like, over it. So, like. What do you like to do? Do you like going shopping, 'cause we could go shopping.”

“We don't have much money,” Tris said. “But, I mean, I like shopping. If we had money, we'd go with you, I guess. It would be nice to have some friends in this town.”

“Yeah, it totally sucks not having any money. My family was really rich, but there was... an accident, y'know? So times are tough. Still, like, I can give you my cell number, so if, like, you wanna hang out, we can hang out, y'know?” She pulled a sticky note and a purple glitter pen out of her purse and started writing it down. “Why doesn't your sister, like, say anything?”

“She...” Tris hesitated. I nodded at her, indicating she was allowed to tell on my behalf. “She's got selective mutism. So she can physically talk, it's just mentally hard for her. She gets all anxious. She's really nice though. You'll like her.” I nodded again, giving Shiki a smile.

“Oh, like, sorry. I didn't mean to be, like, judgmental.”

I nodded and shrugged to let her know it was okay.

“So, like, when was your first day at Hanzo? Was it today? 'Cause that'd be totally crazy. At Gessen we just got a new girl today too. Small word, huh? I wonder if you know her. That'd be, like, even more totally crazy.”

“Yeah, that would be crazy,” Tris said, although I could tell by her body language she wasn't nearly that enthused about it. “What's her name?”

“Oh, it's... something weird. It's, like, really cool though. I'm trying to, like, remember...” Shiki tapped her chin in thought. “Oh, yeah, it's Zelda. And she's super rich, too. But her dad won't even give her his credit card—”

“We don't know her,” Tris said, cutting Shiki off from telling the exact same story we already heard her tell to her friend on the phone.

But, uh... I wasn't so sure about that. The not knowing her thing. Because in those weird dreams I had, the weird fantasy ones with fairies and stuff, where I was a guy for some reason? There was always a girl in those dreams too. A girl I always seemed like I was... tied to with an invisible string. Whenever shit went down, it was her and me, working together to fix it. And, yeah, her name was always Zelda. So for us to be transfer students on the same day? That didn't feel like a coincidence.

Of course, I didn't say a damn thing. Like I ever did. I just sat there, sipping my bubble tea, like I wasn't having some kind of mind blowing deja vu freak out inside my own head. Because I felt like I had to go meet this girl now. Like it was destined. Or, more accurately, even if I didn't actively try to meet her, like by asking Shiki to invite us both to hang out or something, I'd end up meeting her anyway. When shit went down.

And speaking of shit going down? There was always a third element in those dreams. Another person it was like we were tied to with an invisible string. A guy who was always the epitome of evil, the one that was always causing the problems we were left to solve. He was bent on conquering the world and sowing absolute destruction. And all the dreams were like that, no matter how they were different in other ways. It was like a cycle that repeated and repeated again.

“Are there three?!”

Tris and Shiki both stared at me, eyes wide, slack jawed. At first I wondered why. But then I realized I _did the words_. It was a thought in my head at first, and then I just blurted it out. And now they were wondering what the hell was going on.

“Three... three...”

“Three what?” Tris asked.

“She okay?” Shiki asked.

“Maybe not. Maybe we'd better head home...” Tris shook her head.

“Schools,” I said, blurting again. “Three schools.”

“Well, yeah,” Shiki said. “There's Hanzo, then there's Gessen, then there's another weird school called Hebijo. But, like, don't hang out with them. Those are, like, the wrong side of the tracks girls. Like, seriously, don't.”

A third school. Apparently a bad school. The wrong side of the tracks girls? If evil incarnate had to go to a high school, that sounds like where they'd go. So, yeah... I wondered if _they_ got a transfer student today.

“Don't worry, we'll watch out for them,” Tris said. “We'd better go, right, Linkle?” I nodded furiously. The anxiety was rising inside me like bile rising up in my throat. Could've been both at once for all I knew. Probably was.

“Aw, that's no fun, but if you gotta, you gotta.” Shiki pouted. “But, like, call me later, would you?”

“Uh, yeah, bye...”

I don't remember much more about the way home, because it was definitely one of those instances where my body was one place and my mind was somewhere else entirely. All I knew was that, at some point, I had to get Tris to call Shiki again. I had to get them to set up a day where we were hanging out, all four of us. Me. Tris, Shiki, and that Zelda girl from Gessen. Because I wanted to know what I was dealing with _before_ shit went down.

'Cause, like, I could totally tell something was going to.

Damn it, Shiki. Listening to her talk like that made me start thinking like that too.


	3. The Cluckening

Like any other school life, things at Hanzo settled into a familiar routine, just like any other. Even though it was a ninja school. You just get used to whatever's going on. Tris and I had really started getting along well with the girls in that school... as well as practicing fighting them. I got used to their attacks as well as their personality quirks. And I got used to my battle outfits tearing, and my classmates knowing what kind of panties I wore. My uniform top button was still always straining, threatening to pop, but I didn't care anymore. We'd all seen... a lot more of each other than normal classmates ought to.

I liked all my classmates pretty well, too. There was Asuka, the girl who wore a kerchief around her neck every day, who was outgoing and friendly to everyone. There was Ikaruga, the class representative, who kind of had a stick up her butt about some things, but was okay otherwise. There was Hibari, the ditzy one, who was growing on me the most. Then Yagyuu, who still didn't like me, for whatever reason. And Kat, who really did like me, and by that I meant she liked feeling me up. I mean, she liked feeling _everyone_ up, but if you went by frequency, then I was her favorite.

“You're just so _cute_ with your heart panties and your pigtails and your big blue eyes, and you look like a little cherub angel but then you have such _awesome tits_. And you make a cute squeal when I grab them.”

“Hmmmmmph.”

“Really, you're so cute, I bet you could gather up your own little harem if you wanted to,” she said. Which was a weird thought, because... if I thought about those weird dreams again, where I was a guy... said guy version of me always seemed to get a lot of female attention. Even when he was just a little kid, the girls he was friends with got all blushy and stupid around him. When he was older, he definitely had a lot more attention from girls his age, as well as some kinda creepy older women, and some creepy older men too...

So, fine, the dream version of me was a chick magnet, but did _I_ have to be? I mean, at least so far I was only a Kat magnet...

Aaaanyway. One day in particular was pretty interesting. The day Mr. Kiriya decided to see if I knew how to use my secret ninja art. Every ninja with a scroll had an art that was unique to themselves, and knowing how to use that in battle was of utmost importance. Tris had gotten hers to work a few times in sparring matches against the other students. If she focused all her energy through her ninja scroll, she'd summon a bunch of weird mouse shaped remote bombs that she could then detonate with her mind. And somehow the bomb would know how to do the right level of damage to the enemy, and not destroy anything it wasn't meant to destroy. Such was the magic of these scrolls, I guess.

I never seemed to use mine though. Partially because... I didn't know what it was, and what if it was embarrassing? I mean, Hibari's was a giant bunny that propelled itself with farts. But everyone already knew and loved her, so they wouldn't laugh at _her_. What if mine was stupid?

“You need to learn how to use it,” Mr. Kiriya said to me, for what had to be the tenth time so far. “True combat is no laughing matter. Linkle... Ikaruga. You two will fight, and during this fight, you both have to use your secret ninja arts. Failure to do so will mean after school detention cleaning the ninja room.”

“Yes, sir,” Ikaruga said, standing up and giving the teacher an obedient nod.

I pouted but got up anyway.

We focused our power on our ninja scrolls, transforming into battle outfits, materializing weapons, and being surrounded by the dark chains of shadow that walled off anyone else from interfering in the fight. I got my sword ready, knowing that I'd have to build up the energy before I could use the secret ninja art. I mean, I wanted to use it first to get it out of the way, but...

Ikaruga came at me with a sword of her own, one that she wielded with great speed and accuracy. I blocked the first few swings with my shield, but after that... well, it became Kat's favorite time of the day. The looking at what bra and panties I have on because someone just sliced my tunic open time of the day. You know, the usual.

It didn't even faze me anymore at that point. I tucked myself into a quick somersault on the ground to end up behind Ikaruga, able to get her while her guard was down and, well, show Kat someone else's panties for once. I kept striking at Ikaruga, a bunch of quick rapid swipes, building up the energy so I could focus it into my scroll next, to find out what my personal secret ninja power was.

Here goes nothing, I thought, before focusing that energy, and finally allowing it to release, with a cathartic yell.

“HYAAAAAAH!”

And then it happened.

The rumbling. The feathers. The angry clucking.

They materialized out of nowhere, from every corner of the room, and they rushed in with frantic rage. It was like someone somehow managed to go to a huge poultry farm and do something that pissed off every single chicken in the whole coop. How do you even piss off a chicken? I don't know. But that was my secret ninja art.

Ikaruga was completely beset by them. They swarmed her, biting and plucking and scratching with their claws. They pulled buttons off her battle uniform, causing her chest to come spilling out. They yanked hair out of her head. One of them managed to bite the front of her bra open. If she was spilling out _before_ that... well. She clutched her hands to her completely bared breasts. I turned my head away out of basic respect. (Kat, of course, was leering.) And even as her outfit was down to its barest threads, the chickens kept ripping at her. It was only due to her own ninja scroll power that she wasn't bleeding everywhere. If she had been a regular person attacked by all those chickens, she'd be full of scratches oozing blood. As it stood, she was whimpering in pain.

“Y-you did it,” she called out to me. “You used your secret ninja art. You... you beat me this time... but only because I had no idea what to expect.”

As the shadowy chains dissipated and our clothing returned to normal, I noticed that everyone watching was squealing and clapping for me. Like they were proud I'd finally used my power after putting it off for so long. I didn't know why the chickenpocalypse was a power worth being proud of, but... I mean, I guessed it was. The way it completely wrecked Ikaruga when she hadn't been expecting it. Even she looked proud of me now though, now that her school uniform had reappeared and she wasn't topless in front of the class.

“That's such a cute power, you need to give it a name!” Hibari said, bouncing excitedly enough that other parts of her bounced. “Like how Haruka calls her secret power Death Kiss!” Yagyuu visibly scowled at this, the mention of some Haruka girl. With that singular red eye, and the other hidden behind an eye patch, she looked freaky as hell getting that mad. But something told me it was something related to her crush on Hibari. Maybe they fought over her...?

I wasn't sure how or why I would give my secret ninja art a name. I mean, it seemed like some of the girls called their power out when they used it, but I didn't say much. I was more likely to give a generic yell when exerting myself in battle. So I shook my head and shrugged.

Yagyuu gave me a half smile. “Yeah, that's... simultaneously funny and lethal. I like it.” Her sudden approval made me shuffle my feet sheepishly. “If you do decide to call it something, you could call it... The Cluckening.”

I giggled at that.

But our moment of joy was cut short by Mr. Kiriya.

“Miss Ikaruga, what did I say about that sparring match?”

“T-that... we have to use our secret ninja arts?”  
“And did you?”

“...No, sir.”

“And what was the consequence of that, miss Ikaruga?”

“...Detention after school to clean the classroom, sir...”

Okay, wait, what? I turned around in a huff, unable to keep my scowl away from Mr. Kiriya. How was that fair at all? The purpose of the fight was to get _me_ to use _my_ ninja art. Ikaruga was the one who already knew what she was doing. She was the one teaching me. It was up to me to pass or fail. She shouldn't have to get a punishment because of me.

“Yes, miss Ik—ah, is there a problem, miss Linkle?”

“AAAAAA.” I couldn't exactly get out all the words, but I did have a specific thought in mind. Ikaruga shouldn't have to stay after and clean the classroom. I should do it for her. I raised my hand, as though volunteering. Mr. Kiriya looked perplexed. I bounced up and down on my feet as thought that'd further help me communicate my idea. He still looked perplexed. Tris came to the rescue.

“Are you trying to say you want to do Ikaruga's detention for her?”

“Mmm-hmm!” I nodded yes.

“Why would you want to do that?” Mr. Kiriya asked.

Unable to explain verbally, I just put my hands on my hips and gave him a grumpy look, before storming over to the closet where the cleaning supplies were kept, opening it up, and grabbing a broom. I held it like it was a weapon, like, I'm going to do her detention for her whether anyone else likes it or not, and don't you dare challenge me about it.

Mr. Kiriya shook his head.

“How do you feel about this, miss Ikaruga?”

“I'm not sure I like the idea of it. I'm the class representative, so I should be responsible for my own mistakes. I don't want others taking responsibility _for_ me. I'd prefer to serve my own detention.”

Well, too bad, because I was going to whether she liked it or not. She didn't deserve it, and I didn't care if she thought she did.

“See, miss Linkle, she would prefer—”

“Uh-uh, NO.” I stomped my foot. I was going to stay late and clean the classroom whether they liked it or not. If they wanted me to leave any time between class ending and before the room was clean, they'd have to remove me by force. I went to sit down in my place again, but clung to the broom for the rest of the class, as a stubborn reminder that I refused to relent.

“You have to stop doing things for other people,” Tris said, whispering to me. “I mean, you know what they say. You can't pour from an empty cup. And she doesn't even want you to do it for her.”

I jabbed Tris in the shoulder with the broom.

At the end of the day, exactly what you'd expect would happen, happened. Both Ikaruga and I stayed in the room to clean it, each stubbornly refusing to leave on behalf of the other. If anyone else tried to stay in the classroom, I'd sweep at them with the soft bristles of the broom, trying to get them to leave like they were dust. I only let Tris stay in the corner because she was going to walk home with me. So now it was just me, Tris, and Ikaruga in the room.

Ikaruga shook her head at me.

“It's nice of you to volunteer to take my detention for me, Linkle, but it wasn't necessary.”

I gave her a look, like, I don't care, I'm helping. Besides, since we were both doing it, the room would be clean in half the time.

“I get the feeling you do things like this a lot?” she asked.

“Now where would you get that idea?” Tris said, a laugh in her voice. “Yeah, she always wants to help people. She's a good egg like that. Needs to watch out for herself a bit more often if she's gonna succeed as a shinobi, don't you think? I mean, there are times when you have to work together as a team, but sometimes you have to just protect yourself, and it's important to know the difference.”

Ikaruga nodded. “What was it you told her earlier? You can't pour from an empty cup? I like that. That's a good one.”

We worked in silence for a little while after that. Well, mostly silence, because I started humming a weird tune that was in my head for some reason. Something that reminded me of horses in particular, though I wasn't sure why.

Then...

“What do you know about Gessen?” Tris asked, out of nowhere. Well, out of somewhere, but...

Ikaruga looked up. “They're a shinobi school like we are. They train good shinobi. I know some of them. Why?”

“We met a girl from there in a cafe. Apparently they have a new student too, just around the same time we were new here. Weird, right?”

“That is weird, since it _is_ the middle of the year,” Ikaruga said. “I mean, we do know them... not too long ago, we had an incident where they challenged our school to a battle, and whoever lost was supposed to have their school burnt down... yeah, I know, it sounds harsh. But it's a thing. Anyway, it turned out to be a misunderstanding, and we fought, but... both schools are still standing, obviously. We get along now.”

They wanted to burn down our school?! But it was a misunderstanding? How do you have a misunderstanding _that_ big?

I felt like it would be rude to keep asking questions. Tris didn't waste any time though.

“How about Hebijo? What do you know about them?”

“Oh... them.” Ikaruga made a face. “They're bad news. They're a shinobi school too, but they train to do evil instead of good. They attacked our school too. We had to fight them off.”

“Oh, shit.” Tris made a face too. “Well, this is gonna sound weird, but... if they got a transfer student sometime recently, how would we find out about that?”

“I mean, I'd stay away from them if I were you. But, if you really want to know what they're up to, they usually hang out in the same downtown area the delinquents hang out in. You know, past that one park? ...But I wouldn't go there, not if I were you.”

“Yeah, we're gonna have to think about it...”

But I could tell where Tris and I were going to hang out after school tomorrow. I mean, if I had anything to do with it.


	4. Brain Bleach

The next day, on the way home from school, I looked around to see if I could figure out the direction of the bad neighborhood Ikaruga had told us about. We _had_ to go hang out there, to find out if Hebijo had a third transfer student, so we could be prepared for if shit were to go down. I mean, I'd rather not have to basically sneak behind enemy lines and instigate things, but it was necessary. And if we were training to be shinobi... well, my life was eventually going to be _about_ sneaking behind enemy lines and instigating things. So I was looking...

Unfortunately, all the streets and shops and plazas looked the same to me.

I waited until we got home and changed out of our school uniforms into casual street clothes. Because obviously we couldn't go into Hebijo students' territory in our Hanzo uniforms. But once that was done, I stood over Tris as she started to settle down on the couch with a book.

“Yeah?” she asked.

I gestured toward the door.

“What, do you gotta go somewhere?”

I stomped my foot and continued gesturing toward the door.

“I'm not getting you. Can you _try_ to say a word?”

I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself. Then...

“Hebijo!”

“Oh, yeah... you wanted to do that today, _now_?”

I nodded.

“Do we _have_ to?”

I nodded again.

“Isn't there another way? Can't we find out more about what's going on in other ways first? Or shouldn't we call Shiki and see if we can go shopping with her and that Zelda girl? _Anything_ besides charging into enemy territory like idiots?”

I puffed out my cheeks at Tris and flapped my arms in a chicken gesture.

“I'm not afraid, I'm just being practical,” she said. “There's a fine line between courage and stupidity.”

I knew that, damn it. But I lived my entire life on that line, and I wasn't about to stop now.

Honestly, if I had enough sense of direction to find the neighborhood, I'd go by myself. I'd act all innocent and scared like I didn't realize I went into the wrong neighborhood at first, and that'd probably draw out the Hebijo students to come try to mug me or something. Then I could kick ass, and then use the defeated students as leverage to get the information we needed. Although, at some point I'd have to involve Tris. I couldn't exactly ask for the necessary info if I couldn't speak.

So Tris was going to have to come.

I tugged her arm until she got up, then started dragging her toward the door as she sighed.

“Fine,” she said, taking the lead after awhile because she was the one with the actual sense of direction.

The neighborhood we ended up in looked just like all the other ones to me. Sure, there were more boarded up shops and broken windows and stuff, but... so far, it seemed classist to call it a bad area. But maybe that was the point in itself. That people were more likely to turn to criminal activity when they were already in a tough place and had nothing left to lose.

That still didn't explain why someone would willingly choose to go to an evil shinobi school, though. Not to me.

“Now what?” Tris whispered to me.

I shrugged, and looked around. There was a dilapidated playground nearby, surrounded by a fence, with a locked gate. I grabbed onto the fence and hoisted myself over it, landing neatly on the other side, before heading toward the playhouse and wedging myself inside it. I peered out the window, leaving Tris shaking her head. But she followed suit in hopping the fence, and then scurried to the top of the covered slide, entering it, and coming most of the way down, but not all the way. Just enough that she could peek out the slide's opening at the end.

I'd like to think we were showing some real innovative shinobi aptitude.

I didn't know how long we sat there like idiots, but we sat there watching a bunch of people go by. Regular people that just seemed to live in this neighborhood, groups of students in public school uniforms brandishing wooden swords and stuff like they were in a gang... and when two different clusters of gang kids met, there were scuffles. But so far, no one identifiable as a student from any school other than public ones...

Until two girls in unfamiliar black and red school uniforms were approaching, about to pass the park. That had to be them. I charged out of the playhouse, hoisted myself over the fence again, and landed right in their path, staring them down.

The tall, slender one with brown pigtails glared at me. “Out of the way, you stupid big-titted slut.”

I crossed my arms and refused to budge.

“You looking to fight?” she said. “'Cause I'll beat your idiot skank ass.”

The other girl, a curvy blonde, pouted.

“Ryobi, why don't you talk like that to _me_ more?”

“'Cause you're my sister, you dumb fuck. Jerk off to someone else calling you a stupid bitch, but not me.” The pigtailed girl, Ryobi apparently, rolled her eyes.

The blonde girl lit up with sheer joy. “I'm a dumb fuck! I'm a stupid bitch! I'm—”

“You're in the way. Now move, so I can fuck up this _other_ useless tits-for-brains blonde hoe over here—”

Suddenly, Tris came vaulting over the fence. She stood between me and Ryobi.

“Please don't mind my sister,” she said, talking way too fast all nervously. “She's being an idiot. I don't know what the hell she's thinking, picking a fight with you guys. I apologize on her behalf.”

The blonde girl squealed. “Look, Ryobi, they're just like us! Isn't that cool? They're sisters, and the blonde one is a dumb crazy big-tits idiot like _me_ , and the brunette one is fed up with her bullshit like _you_!” She turned to Tris. “Do _you_ like calling people names? Would you call me a dumb fuck skank ass worthless hoe?”

Okay, I no longer had _any_ idea what was going on. Only that I'd been called an idiot or a slut or some variation thereof, like five times. Rude. Still, though, this was important. Tris shook her head, seeming eager to get away from these girls, but I shot her a look, to remind her why we were here.

“I...” Tris hesitated, but then gave the weird blonde girl a look. “How about this? I'll call you whatever nasty names you want me to call you, if you tell me three things first. One. You two go to Hebijo, right?”

Ryobi looked shocked, but the blonde girl nodded before she could be told not to.

“Yeah! We're proud students of the elite class in Hebijo!” Wow, she was _so_ not good at keeping her status as a shinobi a secret.

“All right, then, two. Did you get a new transfer student recently?”

“Uh, yeah, how'd you know?” Well, shit.

“Three. What's their name?” Tris was on top of her game today.

“Uhhh. It's some weird long thing that starts with a G, but we just call her Ganni. She's really cool, right, Ryobi? She beat the crap out of me on her first day! It hurt soooo good.”

Gan... what? Something in what this girl said triggered a weird feeling in me. I had to lean against the fence to process it. It was like I was having flashbacks to a past life, except it was a life I'd only known in those weird dreams, and... well, I was only vaguely conscious of what was still going on. Half of me was listening to them talk, while the other half of me was a ten year old being blasted in the face with some kind of energy ball, by some guy on a horse...

Still, I shook my head and tried to focus, knowing if this what I thought it was, I'd need to listen to any information I could get. Focus, focus...

“Did I tell you everything you wanted to know?” the blonde girl asked Tris. “Can you call me names now? Ooh, ooh, I got an idea. Let's go out for ice cream together, and I'll pay, but you have to call me names the whole time and beat me up after! Oh, and my name's Ryona. What's yours?”

Surprisingly, Tris shrugged. “I'm Tris, and sure. You gave us good info, so I'll pay you with the names and beating up.”

“Awesome! Let's go right now!” Ryona was bouncing up and down out of sheer joy, causing other parts of her to bounce as well. And... it seemed like Tris was enjoying looking at that... and I think I was witnessing the beginning of a beautifully bizarre sadomasochistic romance...

“Uhh...” Tris looked at me. “You'll be able to find your way home on your own, right?”

I must have been delirious, because I nodded yes. But before I knew it, it was just me standing there with little miss potty mouth pigtails, Ryobi. She turned to me, as perplexed as I was.

“So, looks like _your_ sister is taking _my_ dumbass sister on a weird S&M ice cream date? Good to get Ryona out of my hair for a while.” She glared at me. “What's _your_ deal anyway? Why do you want to know about our transfer student?”

I shook my head.

“What's your problem? Can't you talk?”

I shook my head again.

“That stupid, huh? I feel bad for your sister.”

I crossed my arms and glared at her.

“What, you think you're gonna fight me? I'd kick your ass. Lucky for you, I don't have it in me to hurt someone as stupid as you. I mean, you obviously need all the brain cells you got.”

Ugh. I was pretty sure I could beat this Ryobi girl in a fight, but... why bother? What was it going to prove? Let her underestimate me. I wasn't going to hurt someone just because they liked slinging insults at me. That was her issue. So I shrugged and walked off.

It wasn't until I was a bit further down the sidewalk that I realized that, without Tris, I had no idea how to get home. Even though I basically told her I had. And now she was on what I presumed was a date, with a Hebijo student. A Hebijo student, who was the classmate of someone I always had freaky dreams about, someone who was my sworn enemy in those dreams. Someone I felt like was about to be my sworn enemy here too. Just a gut feeling.

This gut feeling was kind of nauseating...

I pulled out my phone and texted Shiki, never having been more glad that she'd given me her number. I was freaking out sort of, so I was typing all fast and making lots of typos. I wasn't even sure what to say, either. Should I let her know I was lost again, or not yet?

“hi shiki? its linkle, im wonderign if yroue able to hang out today soon?”

It took awhile for her to respond. The longer I waited, the more the freaking out intensified. Would she not see it? But then my phone buzzed, and I perked up.

“Um sorry, kinda busy right now,” the response said.

I quickly typed back “ok sory will talk to you when youre not bsuy” and took a deep breath in. Because, well, damn it. Time to try to find whatever ice cream place Tris and what's her face went to, on my own, I guess.

I don't know how much wandering it took me to find it. The whole time, I tried walking all fast and looking ahead all determined, so it would trick people into thinking I knew what I was doing. That way, no one would mess with me, like they would if they thought I was a lost confused little girl. Thankfully, the gang kids seemed way more into messing with each other. Or maybe I was decent at acting? ...Probably not.

Anyway, I found an ice cream place about half an hour later, but they weren't in it. And I would've kept looking for another one, if it weren't for the fact that I detected one of those shinobi barriers. The shadowy chain thing, that blocked shinobi battles off from being entered or even seen by people nearby.

Shit. They were fighting. This Ryona girl had turned on Tris, and...

All pretense of acting tough and determined was gone. I ran like a scared lost kid. I followed the feeling, until I was outside a boarded up abandoned storefront about two buildings away from the ice cream place. I slipped in through the board that was already loose, seemingly just bent away so someone else could get in here. And I focused my energy into my scroll, transforming, so I could break through their barrier, and find out what was going on. Tunic on, sword in hand, I cut right through the dark chains blocking me from my sister...

There was Tris. And there was Ryona. And there was the worst thing I had ever seen in my life. No, Tris wasn't badly hurt. But my eyes, my brain, and my sanity were all irreparably damaged.

They'd fought, it seemed like. There were weapons scattered around, shards of Tris' used explosives, and Ryona's weird guns lying to the side, forgotten. Both of their battle outfits were in shreds on the ground. The two of them were in such a state of undress that only the absolute essentials were still covered by anything, and even some of those essentials... weren't. Like, uh, Ryona's huge boobs.

One of which was in Tris' mouth.

“AAAAAAA!”

“Who—Linkle?!” Tris immediately pulled away from sucking on Ryona, looking up at me in wide eyed shock. “You _told_ me you could find the way home...”

I covered my eyes and shook my head no. Ryona somehow seemed completely unperturbed about the fact that her tits were just... there. Or any of this, for that matter. The fact that I just saw my _sibling_ doing _that_. With some girl we met today, just now. Which, not that I'd try to slut shame, but the reason we met this girl is to get intel on a potential enemy...

“Guess you gotta go now, huh?” Ryona just sighed with disappointment.

I could hear Tris scramble to her feet, and felt her scroll power fade as her regular outfit reformed around her body. And she scurried over to me, and put her hand on my shoulder.

“I'm sorry, okay? I... I'm sorry you had to see that. Really sorry. Really, really, really sorry. I don't know what else to say, but, I'm sorry. I... I didn't know things would escalate like that, I really didn't. You're not mad, are you?”

I shook my head no. My face was red hot, but from embarrassment instead of anger.

“...Shit, you felt the shinobi barrier and thought Ryona was killing me or something, didn't you? Shit. You don't have to worry about that, though. I beat the shit out of _her_ , and she liked it a lot, and... yeah...” I could feel the same level of hot shame coming off of her as of me. “I'm really sorry you got scared, and really sorry you had to see that. Here, let's go home, okay?”

I nodded, opening my eyes only after turning around so I didn't have to see Ryona, who was still completely unperturbed by all this.

“You got my number, right?” she called out after Tris. “You'll text me if you want to play again, right?”

“Yeah, I got you,” Tris called back. Wait... they were going to do this _more than once_?

Brain bleach, pleeeease. Extra concentrated brain bleach.

It was hard to go to sleep that night. There were a lot of emotions attached to what just happened, after all. A little mistrust, some confusion, a lot of embarrassment. I wasn't mad at Tris for sleeping with the enemy, just... a little disappointed. And really, really, really disgusted that I had to _see_ it. With my innocent virgin eyes. Like, if I had no idea it happened, I would have been just fine.

But since I have no sense of direction... ugh. And to think she was the one who didn't want to go meet the Hebijo students...


	5. Sisterly Love

It was three days before we ended up hearing from Ryona again. I hadn't even figured out what to do about the weird transfer student situation yet, and wanted to think of a plan before having to deal with the Hebijo girls again. Of course, Tris was more eager to see Ryona again, for obvious reasons. But either way, it seemed like Ryona was determined to ram herself back into our lives immediately, whether we were ready for her or not.

We’d been home from school for like half an hour that day, and were both sitting in the living room decompressing. Tris was scrolling through her phone when it buzzed. And a minute later, she looked up at me.

“Ryona just texted me. She wants us to go hang out with her and her sister and one of their friends. I told her we could probably get there in like half an hour?”

I ended up facepalming so hard it hurt.

“What?” Tris asked, seeming genuinely oblivious. I said nothing, as usual, and dashed into the bedroom, shutting the door behind me. I flung myself at the bed, then pulled out my phone. There was no way I'd be able to get words out verbally, but there were things Tris _needed_ to hear. So I texted them, way faster than normal, leaving behind a string of typos in my frustration.

“all i can say is cna you pleas not with yuor weird bsdm relationship with literaly the enemey?”

“She's not the enemy,” Tris texted back, seconds later. “Also, stop kinkshaming me.”

“frist of all im not kinkshaming second it donest matter evne if she is good she is close neough tto the emeny that we have to wory about them usign her against us.“

“I think she's smart enough that she'll choose to be on our side even if shit does go down. Which by the way we're not sure if it will or not. You're basing this on literally a dream.”

“prophetioc drems are definaltey a thing“

“If you say so. Also why can't you spell today?“

“im just FURSTTATED“

“Apparently.” I heard her laugh at me from the other room.

“stop lauhging.”

“Whatever. I still think you should come with me to hang out with them anyway. I know you don't trust them, but think of it like this. If we're nice to them, maybe they will choose to side with us later. If they end up against us, we at least have intel on them.”

She had a point. I buried my face in the pillow.

“well ok fine tell tehm yes we wil go but if anything bad hapens im going tto blame you and do somthing mean to you”

“Okay, be ready to go in like fifteen minutes. We're going to get noodles. Also, you don't have a mean bone in your body.”

“dont test me i will swtich the salt and sugrar when you least expet it and your cookies wil be awful”

I got up and brushed bed fuzz off my shirt, then went to go straighten out my hair, which was a mess from repeatedly mashing my head into surfaces out of annoyance. When I went back out into the other room, she was laughing at me again.

“Oh no, not my cookies,” she said, between giggling. “Anything but the cookies.”

I gave her a sharp nod as I grabbed my bag, confirming that yes, I am an abnormally nice person, but also yes, my threat to her cookies would still stand. And with that, we headed out to some noodle place in the run down neighborhood where we met them in the first place.

“You need to try to communicate more,” she said, lecturing me the entire time we walked there. “I know talking out loud is hard for you, but the least you can do is type the things you want to say into your phone. Then you can show the phone to us, or I can read them out loud for you, or something. Just try, okay?”

I nodded. I would try.

We got to the noodle place, and there was Ryona, sitting outside on the patio and waving enthusiastically at us to come sit at the seats they'd saved. Next to her on one side was Ryobi, who was still giving me dirty looks. And on the other side was a girl with dark eyes and deep purple hair. She was clutching a weird purplish blue teddy bear like her life depended on it. I tried not to judge. I didn't know her, so I had no room to think anything.

“Hiiii, Tris and Linkle!” Ryona said, squealing with glee. “You guys already know Ryobi, but let me introduce you to my other friend. Her name's Murasaki, and she goes to Hebijo too. Say hiiiii, Murasaki!”

Her tone toward her own friend was like she was trying to get a toddler to do something. I immediately felt bad for Murasaki. As someone who has trouble speaking, I know what it feels like to get the constant assumption that I’m stupid. But I could look at Murasaki and tell she wasn't stupid. She had a look of deep sorrow in her eyes, but definitely not the look of vacancy you can see in the eyes of someone who is truly, genuinely stupid. No, she just looked... uncomfortable. And getting increasingly more uncomfortable given how she was being condescended to.

“H-hi, and, um, this is my bear,” Murasaki said, holding it up. “Her name is Bebe-tan. She says hi too.”

' Tris gave me a look. I stomped on her foot under the table, and waved enthusiastically to both Murasaki and Bebe-tan. She gave back what looked like a genuine smile. But other than that...

Tris and Ryona were making eyes at each other across the table the whole time. Like not just lovey eyes, but “in my head I'm undressing you” eyes. By the time the waitress had come and gone, those eyes had clearly escalated into “in my head I'm groping you” eyes. I wondered if by the time we got our noodles, I'd find out what “in my head I'm intensely *bleep*ing your *bleep* with my *bleep* until we both *bleep*” eyes looked like. I hoped not.

Ryobi was glaring at me like I did something to her, besides just hop over the fence at her that one time. Judging by the fact that every insult she'd ever slung at me had something to do with my breast size, along with my percieved lack of intelligence and sexual activity based on said breast size... Well, she didn't have much, so I wonder if what it was I did to her was have boobs. I didn't get why it mattered. All they do is get in the way during combat anyway.

Murasaki honestly looked super miserable to be sitting out in public with her condescending “friends” as well as two people that were complete strangers to her. She was burying most of her face into Bebe-tan, and from what I could see of her eyes from over the bear and under her hair, there were tears in them, threatening to spill out. I smiled at her, and she looked genuinely taken aback. Like, what kind of friends were these, anyway, where she looked so shocked to get a smile?

So, yeah.

There wasn't much conversation, and what there was...

“Hey, Tris, when's the next time we can go—”

“Don't talk about that in public, it'll gross people out,” Tris said.

“Well, can we talk about the fighting part at least?” Ryona asked.

“No, 'cause that'll get you just as worked up as talking about the dirty part.”

That was _their_ conversation. It was a huge relief when noodles came, because then instead of sitting there feeling super awkward, I could eat while sitting there feeling super awkward. Naturally, though, the amount of awkward was not reduced.

Murasaki kept looking like she was about to burst into tears. I thought of what Tris had said, so I pulled my phone out and started typing into it.

“You don't want to be here either, huh? I bet they had to drag you out. Not sure why they bother doing that. It's not like they're making an attempt to talk to us.”

And I slid my phone over to Murasaki, who picked it up and read it silently. She gave the tiniest of smiles, and typed back into the phone, before sliding it back over to me.

“exactly! they just do it so they can feel good about themselves. and also wtf is with ryona and ur sister? ryona is a weird sexual masochist all the time but didnt think shed ever find someone as into her bs as she is. um no offense to ur sister... but if theyre all into each other like that why do they gotta invite us?”

I couldn't help but snort in amusement as I typed back.

“Yeah, Tris is a good person, but... she does take a weird level of pleasure in other people's misery. It wasn't until now that I unfortunately found out that level of pleasure extends to... yeah...”

When I got her response, I actually laughed.

“not to be crude but i feel like an extra in whats gonna be a porno. can they leave and fuck so i can go home and play video games with bebe-tan?”

Pretty vulgar for someone who toted her security teddy bear around and constantly looked about to cry. But I didn't consider that a bad thing. She seemed like she'd been through a lot, and probably had her reasons to be a bit bitter. And she gave me a genuine smile when I laughed at what she'd written. But maybe I shouldn't have laughed out loud, because, uh...

“You two big titty dumbasses got something you wanna share?” Ryobi asked.

Murasaki looked upset all over again, like a student caught passing notes and about to get a detention. But I gave Ryobi a look, like I _dare_ you to intercept the phone. I _dare_ you to read it out loud to everyone. I probably wasn't doing myself any favors at making her not hate me. But if she was going to humiliate Murasaki, I _would_ fight her.

Ryobi snatched the phone from me anyway, and read what was on the screen. But instead of being pissy, she laughed too.

“Oh my god, you nailed it. Really, that's my _life_.”

By then, both Tris and Ryona were looking at us. Murasaki looked scared again, but I gave Tris the same look I'd given Ryobi. Except worse. Like, “I _dare_ you to talk shit. I would have stood up to Ryobi politely if she talked shit, but you're my sister, so I won't _hesitate_ , bitch. I know you don't think I have a mean bone in my body, but I _will_ ruin your cookies. I will destroy your cookies. Destroy.”

Tris snatched the phone anyway, and read it quickly, before showing it to Ryona. Now, that was a problem, because I didn't think there was anything mean you could say or do to Ryona that she wouldn't literally get off on...

“Are we that bad?” Tris asked. Ryona just giggled.

“Yes,” Ryobi said, all too quickly.

I snatched my phone back and typed into it again before holding it out for them to read.

“If we're going to hang out as a group of five, let's do something as a group of five. And before you even suggest it, nothing sexual, nothing violent that ends up sexual, and nothing illegal.”

"Nothing sexual, nothing illegal. What's left? Why do you always have to be such a buzzkill?" Tris threw her hands up in the air. But I could tell she was mostly joking, so I huffed in amusement, before continuing typing.

“It's my job. I am the goody two shoes. It is my destiny, throughout every reincarnation, and so I have been born once again, to ruin your fun.”

Tris shook her head with a laugh.

"I know I said before I'm not sure if I believe your reincarnation prophecy thingie, but if you say you're reincarnated to be a buzzkill, I might believe you. Like, remember in sixth grade when I was mad at my French teacher, so I was going to bring her laxative laced brownies? And you threw them out before I could even bring them to school. Then in sleep-away camp when that one prissy girl was getting on my nerves, so I mixed craft paint into her shampoo? You threw that out too."

I typed a response again.

"Well, we're twins, so maybe it's a shared destiny. You're a buzzkill to me all the time too."

"When?!"

"Practically ever since preschool, when I'd try to climb things and you would freak out. Or when we went on that camping trip and I wanted to go hunting with crossbows and you kept saying we were going to get arrested. Also, whenever I get a lighter, you take it away."

"Lighters are for people who smoke. You don't smoke."

"Lighters have lots of uses."

"Like when I find you standing in the kitchen in the middle of the night with a bag of Chex Mix, lighting the individual pieces on fire? Did you fail kindergarten fire safety?"

"I couldn't fall asleep, and I wanted to see which ones would burn the fastest."

Between Tris sassing me, and my frantic typing of sassing her back, which Tris had started reading out loud dramatically so not everyone had to look at the phone... all three of the Hebijo girls were giggling at us.

“Why don't we have sisterly love like that?” Ryona asked Ryobi.

“Because you can't last five minutes without being a masochist, you dumb f—never mind, not giving you the satisfaction right now.”

“Aww, man...”

“See what I mean when I said this was my life?” Ryobi asked. “Every day. All she cares about is her crazy masochism fetish, and you can't do anything about it, because it just feeds it like gasoline. Can't tell her to fucking stop it, because that counts as yelling at her, and that's something she likes. Can't hit her, that's something she really likes. All I can do is be nice to her and hope she stops on her own. Ugh.”

The whole time Ryobi ranted, Murasaki nodded silently, and gestured with Bebe-tan to make her nod as well.

Before long, we'd finished our noodles, but we lingered on a bench near the noodle place, and kept chattering. We only parted ways when it started to get dark enough that apparently we wouldn't want to stay in this neighborhood if we wanted to be safe. That, and it'd be hard to find our way home. Because if it were me, I could probably take a whole gang of muggers easier than I could walk home and not get lost.

After all that... well, it was something. It took some time, but all five of us seemed like we enjoyed ourselves. Even me. Yeah, I genuinely enjoyed hanging out with girls from the “evil” school, which... kind of made me wonder things. Like, maybe this school wasn't as evil as I thought? It almost seemed like her school’s idea of evil was so... watered down? That they wouldn’t know real evil if it killed them.

Not that I would know what real evil was either.

But those dreams... something told me that the version of me that existed in those dreams _had_ seen real evil. And lost everything he had, just to fight it. To him, Ryona and her “evil” would register on about the same level of threat as a mosquito. Except I'm pretty sure a mosquito _stops_ sucking when you slap it...

Before we left, Murasaki grabbed my phone and typed something in it fast before shoving it back in my hands. She'd given me her number, and left a note for me to text her later, so we could stay in touch on a daily basis. She even noted that Bebe-tan told her she likes me too.

Judging by how upset she'd been at the start of the afternoon, I felt like I'd done something good.


	6. Freaky Eyed Evil Overlord

I'd been texting Murasaki a lot since she'd given me her number. Tris kept physically going out to hang out with Ryona in person, for obvious reasons, but I just stayed home. After all, it seemed like Murasaki was such a huge homebody, that she would much rather stay in bed and text her friends than be in their physical presence. In fact, she kinda bordered on agoraphobic. I gathered that she spent almost all her time in her room, in her bed, in the dark, with a movie or video game, and only Bebe-tan to keep her company. And apparently up until recently she was completely truant from school, and not even willing to communicate with people over long distance at all. The fact that she now got out of bed for school and was willing to text anyone had apparently been a marked improvement over how she'd been before.

“How'd you not get kicked out of school if you kept just not showing up?” I asked her once.

“same reason i got into school,” she typed back. “i have an extremely strong power thats considered really useful, so they want me to be a student so if they ever need my power they have it... they did try to make me go to school at first but i threatened to use it on them so they left me alone... tbh i feel pretty guilty for having it. my sister is a way better shinobi than me so it would have been better use if she got the power... but i had to get it instead...”

“I dunno. I think you should be proud of whatever you have, and use it as best as you can, to accomplish whatever's important to you. What kind of power is it?”

“i dont want to talk about it” was her response. So I let it go. And we went back to texting about the video games she'd been playing lately, and the comics I'd been reading lately, and other stuff to get our minds off of anything serious.

But there was something serious we did have to talk about every now and then.

“Do you mind talking about your classmates sometimes?” I'd asked her.

“i dont mind, most of them are ok. you met half of us. the other half is my sister, my sister's 'friend' she has a really obvious crush on, and a kinda new transfer student.”

“What's the transfer student like?” Hopefully I'd finally get the information I needed, but if she wasn't willing to volunteer anything, I didn't want to push her.

“idk, tbh she is a little scary. she talks weird and has freaky eyes.”  
“Like how?”

“she sounds like an adult trying too hard to be cool with teens? even though she is one... shes always misusing or overusing slang and stuff. and the eyes idk. theyre just freaky. they dont look how eyes are supposed to look.”

“That's weird,” I typed back, while trying to decide how much else I wanted to say.

Saying that I have a series of persistent and oddly specific and consistent dreams, that feel like past lives, that center around the repeated reincarnation of me and this other girl trying to keep a godlike power away from this other crazy evil overlord? Possibly too much. Mentioning the fact that my transferring to a shinobi school here being almost completely synchronized with two other transfer students, one to another good school and one to an evil school, felt suspiciously like the start of conflict in one of those reincarnation cycles? Probably too much. Telling her I suspect her new classmate is a reincarnation of the evil overlord from my dreams, and judging by what she said about her talking weird for a teen girl, it's possible she might have full memory of all her past lives while I only have faint memories of mine? Definitely too much.

So I settled with something else.

“I kind of want to meet her one day, because she sounds like she's someone I might know, and I want to see if she is that person. But I don't want her to know about me yet, and I don't want to interact with her directly, because if she's the person I know, then we didn't get along before, and things will go badly again now.”

“oh. ok. i wont tell her anything about u then. she already knows u exist because i think all 3 of u transfer students are general knowledge between the shinobi schools. but will try to make sure she doesnt know anything else about u. until u are ready or if u want me to ask her something let me know.”

So that was good for the time being, I guessed. Maybe the next thing I should focus on would be to meet up with Shiki and her friends at Gessen, and meet the other transfer student there, the one that would be on my side if it turned out all this weird crap came true.

But before I could do that...

One night, I got a text from Murasaki that freaked me out for some reason. It was late, and I'd been sleeping when my phone went off. She'd been known to stay up all night playing video games, and would send me texts then too, but this time... even just from before I looked at it, something felt wrong.  
“i really need to talk to you about something weird. i dont want to type it into the phone in case someone sees it. please come to the abandoned playground where you first met ryobi and ryona so we can talk. tonight if you can.”

How'd she know where I first met Ryobi and Ryona? I had a gut feeling this was something really bad. I decided to trust my gut feeling, which ironically told me I _had_ to go. What if Murasaki was in danger? I had to help her.

“I'll leave right now,” I texted back, before putting on jeans and shoes, making sure I had my scroll with me, and heading out.

Somehow, I managed to find the place. I guessed I was gradually getting better at directions. I'd passed the noodle place, and I'd passed the abandoned building where I saw the things I really never needed to see, so I knew I was close. I felt proud I could recognize landmarks, even though I still wasn't sure how to put together where they were in relation to each other.

But the weird part was that my scroll basically led me to where I needed to be. I'd kept it... where I keep it... and yet still managed to notice a faint glow emanating from that area when I got close to the noodle place. It felt like it was resonating with some type of energy, leading me to the right place. Because I realized after that the closer I got to the playground, the more intense that resonating felt.

Weird.

And even weirder was Murasaki standing there, by herself, without Bebe-tan by her side. She wasn't wearing her school uniform, or even pajamas. She had on a long, full skirted, elegant dress. Was that... her shinobi battle costume?

Uh... judging by the fact that her hair contained some giant shurikens, probably.  
I wanted to call out to her and ask if everything was okay, but words were failing me, like they did almost all the time. She looked up at me. At least she'd noticed I was there to help with whatever she needed? I was about to pull out my phone to text her, but before I could even reach for it, one of those shurikens came flying at my face. I barely had time to react. I hopped out of the way, but the sharp edge of the shuriken grazed my cheek, causing it to bleed.

She was literally controlling her weapon with her hair? Wait, why was she attacking me in the first place? It's probably a bad thing that was my _second_ thought and not my first. But as I hopped out of the way of another flying shuriken tangled in deep purple hair, I realized I had to transform too. Even if I didn't want to hurt her, even if I needed to deescalate whatever was happening... I had to be ready to fight, for my own safety.

Even after I did, the scroll was still resonating with some bizarre power. One that felt different than it had ever felt before.

She charged at me at that point, her shurikens spinning madly in midair as they were stretched out in front of her. They were at the level that if they hit me, they'd either get me in the face, or in the throat. I could only dodge. I ducked down and rolled myself out of the way before pulling out my shield and ducking behind that.

I chanced looking up at her face as she came at me again. Her eyes looked... deader than usual. Like a doll's. What was happening?

I held my sword up at her, trying to... threaten her into stopping? But she came at me again anyway, the shurikens grinding up against my sword blade as they spun, cutting at my gloves and shredding them to a leathery pulp. If I hadn't been in a transformed state, both my hands would be bloody messes.

I swung my sword at her, but missed “accidentally.” For some reason, I just couldn't hurt her. She was... a friend, or at least I thought she was. Even if she was a student at Hebijo, and they were supposedly evil. I still didn't understand why she was doing this. She wasn't saying anything. I _couldn't_ say anything. How could I incapacitate her long enough to figure out what was going on? Something that wouldn't hurt her...

Then I got it.

I started running away from her, as fast as my legs could go, sheathing my sword and putting back my shield as I ran. I had to get as far away from her as I could if this was going to work. I needed to get on the grass of the playground, too. So I did a running jump over the fence, rolling as I landed, to not hurt myself. And I ran toward the open field part of the playground, mentally daring Murasaki to follow me.

She did, her shurikens still out front, spinning wildly.

I glanced at the playground equipment as I dashed past it. Did I see movement up toward the top of the covered slide? It didn't matter right now. I had to get distance between Murasaki and me, on the field, the soft soil and grass beneath the both of us.

Then I pulled out my bow and arrow, not one of the crossbows, but the one with nicely sharp and pointy arrows. And I aimed at Murasaki. Right at her, as she charged at me.

Then I aimed a bit lower, and let the arrow fly, into the thickness of her skirt.

She stumbled. I quickly fired another, and another. I kept firing arrows into her skirt, causing them to stick through the fabric, and lodge themselves in the earthy ground. She was pinned to the field itself. She kept trying to come at me, and took her awhile before she seemed to think of trying to pull the arrows out of her skirt. And then she didn't need to. She came at me with such a burst of energy that her skirt tore almost all the way off. I could see her purple panties, and had to try not to look at them while she kept on charging my way.

I hated having to do this, but I waited until she was right close to me, and... just straight up decked her in the face. Hopefully that wouldn't do any lasting damage. It did what it needed to do, and she crumpled to the ground. I cautiously dragged her over to a bench, and propped her onto it, so she'd be sitting nicely when she finally came to.

Then I turned back over toward the top of the covered slide, where I thought I'd seen movement before. Someone was kneeling there. A girl in a Hebijo uniform, but not one I knew. Her long hair was fiery red.

She jumped down from the platform leading into the slide, taking a fall that felt like anyone else would end up with their legs crumpled beneath them afterward. But as she reached the ground, she was able to transform her fall into a levitate, and she landed neatly on her feet before staring me down.

With her gleaming golden eyes, and their freaky pupils shaped almost like flowers. Freaky eyes. Where had I seen someone else with freaky eyes like that before?

“You...” She sounded almost afraid. “It can't be. You're...” She glanced down toward my chest. “You're... you don't...”

Oh, yeah. If she had full memory of all our past lives, she was used to me being a guy. But then again, she was probably used to being an older adult man herself. So, yeah. I jabbed a pointing finger in the general direction of her chest, equally as ample as mine if not _more_ so. Like, see, this world is being cruel to all of us.

“Hmph. It _is_ you, isn't it, kid?” The fiery redhead silently strode over to Murasaki as she spoke. “No one else would look at me with such defiance, even with me in... this state...” And then she put her hand on Murasaki's throat, gripping it tightly.

Shit.

“Worried about your little friend here, kid?” she asked. I glared at her, but said nothing. She smirked. “If you want me to make sure she awakens unharmed, there's something you can do for me...”

I tilted my head to the side in question, even though I kept the look of defiance blazing in my eyes. She'd know there was no way I was going to give her what she wanted, but I needed to at least know what it was.

“It's easy. Give me your secret ninja scroll.”

It was hard for me not to instinctively clutch at the place I had my scroll hidden. I managed to jerk my arm to the side just in time to not reveal where it was. Instead, I pulled out my sword.

“Really? You think you're ready to fight me?” The fiery redhead laughed. But it wasn't the laugh of a high school girl, not even a particularly smug or even bitchy one. It was a grade A certified Saturday morning cartoon maniacal villain laugh. A laugh that sent a shiver from my repressed memories and down my spine.

Shit. _Was_ I ready to fight her?

I couldn't give her the scroll. But I couldn't just flee, and leave Murasaki here alone with her. I didn't have a choice. I nodded at her, and charged at her with my sword brandished.

She effortlessly shot a ball of energy at me, sending me flying backward. I had to scramble to my feet and run back toward my assailant. The fact that the energy had split the whole front of my tunic open and it was only still being held on me by the belt... it barely registered. I did take a moment to glance at Murasaki as I ran toward her, though.

Her eyes fluttered open.

“Where am I―” she barely managed to ask, before fiery redhead tightened her grip on her throat, silencing her. I used that brief moment of distraction to swing my sword at the redhead, slicing open her school uniform top. Somehow she managed to be kinda muscular, while still having bigger boobs than me. I'd feel bad for her having to deal with those if she wasn't threatening Murasaki.

It seemed her grip on Murasaki's throat had lessened, because Murasaki was frantically asking questions again.

“Ganni, where's Bebe-tan? Where did you take her? Where is she?”

Ganni―that was definitely short for something I couldn't quite remember―exhaled sharply in amusement.

“Don't worry, she's safe at home. I had you leave her there. I was sure you wouldn't want to get dirt in her fur while you were busy serving me.”

Suddenly, Murasaki had a light in her eyes that hadn't been there before, as she straight up glared at Ganni. Her anger was physically palpable as the earth beneath the playground began to shake. A dome of deep purple darkness began to form around her, enveloping both of them. Murasaki let loose the most intense scream I'd ever heard. And the dome of darkness burst like an explosion.

I clutched at my head. It took me a moment to shake off the dizziness. And I didn't know what I was about to see when the darkness cleared. Was that the power she hadn't wanted to talk about?

Murasaki was standing there, shaking, crying. Ganni was nowhere to be found.

“She got away,” Murasaki whimpered through her tears. “S-she... tele... telep-p-ported...” She had to catch her breath. “I... wh-what did I do... while I was under her control... d-did I _attack_ you?”

I nodded at her.

“I _attacked_ you? I... I didn't mean to... it wasn't me... I... I'm so sorry...”

I nodded at her again and placed my hand on her shoulder. I wanted her to know it was okay.

“I... I need to get home to Bebe-tan... she's probably worrying about me...” She swallowed hard. “I... I'll see you later, and I'll think of a way t-to... make up for attacking you... I m-mean, y-y-you'll still talk to me, right?”

I nodded at her yet again, giving her a soft smile.

She wiped away her tears, then gave me a big hug... and a kiss on the cheek. And then she darted away like nobody's business.

Uh, shiiiiiiit. That was a friendship kiss, right? _Right?_ Or was that a genuine hundred percent romantic interest kiss? Or maybe it was a weird kid's juice beverage equivalent of a kiss. Friendship kiss, made with real romantic interest, only contains twenty percent real romantic interest.

Either way, I wasn't sure what to make of it. It would definitely make this whole her-classmate-is-a-reincarnated-evil-overlord thing more complicated. But, uh... she was a good friend, and she was cute, and not someone I'd mind dating, if that was what she was getting at?

Anyway, I had to get home and sleep... I had a lot to think about.


	7. This Always Happens

The next day at school... Well, for one thing, I overslept again. Not my fault this time, though. Did anyone really expect me to wake up on time when I was up at like one in the morning fighting a reincarnated evil overlord on a playground?

Not that they knew about that. Even Tris didn't know. She was sleeping soundly at home the whole time. And that was the problem. Everyone had to know about this threat in our midst. And given my difficulty talking, especially about stressful things...

Well, there was always texting. So as soon as I was awake enough to process things, I typed Tris a hasty message.

“ok yeah i know i overslept but theres a rvery imrptonat reason for it. and you need ot tell the class it includign mr kirya. basicly murasaki texted me at like midnihtg yesterdy that she was in the park and needded me to go there assap. so i did. she was beign mind controled and attakcked me. i icncpaccitated her long enough to find who was controling her. it was the new transfere student in hebijo. and she said she was doing it to get me to give her my scrol. her name is ganni whcih sounds FAMILAIR and liek. i trust murasaki, ryobi, ryona, tehy are ok. but tranfser student gani is obvisly startign to do somthing dangerous liKE I SAID! and we need to get gessen involved, their trsanfer student should know about this.”

After the text message, I realized she probably had her phone put away in her bag like a responsible student. And she wouldn’t see the text until class broke for lunch. And it felt too urgent for that. So I called her, hoping the buzzing would be loud enough to disrupt class and get her—or even someone else—to look inside the bag. But then, instead of waiting for a response, I hurried to finish getting ready, and ran to school.

Thankfully I knew how to get to the classroom this time. I'd found out awhile ago there was a shortcut at the back gate the whole time, and we weren't even really supposed to use the front gate. That way, it’d keep the normal students from detecting us too much.

When I burst into the classroom, catching my breath, Tris was being reprimanded by Mr. Kiriya for her phone going off from her bag in class. I stormed over there—yeah, I knew I was doing myself no favors when it came to looking like a good and respectful student—and grabbed the phone off Mr. Kiriya's desk, tapping the screen aggressively, like, _look at it_.

Mr. Kiriya moved from scolding Tris to scolding me.

“Miss Linkle, excuse me—”

I kept tapping aggressively at the phone. Tap tap tap.

“ _You_ called me in the middle of class?” Tris asked, frowning in exasperation. I scowled at her. Tap tap tap. Finally I got fed up and tried to unlock the phone. It required her fingerprint. I grabbed her hand and pressed her finger into the screen for her, then opened up my text to her. Then I thrust the phone in Mr. Kiriya's face. Tris reached to take her phone back, but I yanked it away from her, and thrust it in Mr. Kiriya's face again.

Finally he read the message.

“You were attacked by two of the Hebijo girls, one of them being Hebijo's new transfer student?” he asked. I shook my head and tapped at the part that said mind controlled, however wrong it was spelled in the heat of the moment, then elbowed Tris.

“Yeah, um, I know this is probably bad, but we ended up being friends with a couple of the Hebijo students,” she admitted. “It was before we knew who they were, and before they knew who we were,” she added, lying. “That’s how she was able to text Linkle, claiming she was in trouble, and get her to go out there in the first place. But it wasn't her. She was being mind controlled, by the transfer student.”

“You believe that?” Mr. Kiriya asked.

I wanted to tell him that the transfer student had had freaky eyes, ones that looked familiar somehow. Familiar... because someone in this class had freaky eyes. Hibari. She was as sweet as could be, but there was no question her pupils were... not pupil shaped. I dashed over to her and pointed at her eyes.

“Don't make fun of her eyes,” Yagyuu snapped at me. “It's rude.”

“She's not making fun,” Tris said. “She's trying to ask if there’s a reason they look like that, right?”

“Uh, um, it’s okay,” Hibari said, laughing nervously. “It’s just... a power I have, that shows up first by making my eyes look weird. I don't use it much ‘cause it's kinda mean, but if I really, really need to, I can control people’s minds...”

I nodded to her in thanks, then looked at Mr. Kiriya again, and gestured to her with a “see?!” motion.

“The transfer student had the Kagan power, and used it to control the other student's mind?” he asked. I nodded. If that was what it was called, then, yeah, that's what I was saying. “And she wanted your scroll.” I nodded again. “Your scroll in particular? Not our school's secret scroll?” I nodded yet again. I wished I could tell them how it had been glowing in a way it never had before. “And you think we should get Gessen involved, because their transfer student might know something?” More nodding. I was glad he was finally getting it.

Ikaruga stood up and approached us, nodding as well.

“This sounds like a good plan. As our class representative, I’ll contact Yumi of Gessen, and tell her we need to have a secret meeting somewhere. We’ll set it up, and I’ll tell you when it is. If this is as much of a threat as Linkle is implying, I expect you all to show up.”

“I’ll call Homura too then,” Asuka called out, pretty eagerly. “The more friends we have on our side, the better.”

Mr. Kiriya sighed. “Yes, but now that the matter seems to be settled for now, let's return to our scheduled lesson.”

I concentrated a bit better that day than I usually did, knowing that all the things I was worried about had been listened to and were actually going to be dealt with. I mean, I still wasn't the _best_ at concentrating, but I concentrated _better_.

The meeting did get set up. All seven of us Hanzo students headed to a clearing in the woods outside of town that apparently “regular people” didn't know about? Whatever. I’d roll with it, as best as I could. Even though it was hard to roll with anything when so many people showed up. Besides us, there were six Gessen students identifiable by their uniforms, and five other girls in casual clothes.

“What's this all about, anyway, Asuka?” a tanned girl with a casual ponytail and t-shirt asked her. “You're lucky we're letting you use our training field, y'know? I wouldn't do this for anyone else.” There was giggling amongst her casually dressed friends. She turned to them angrily, turning a little red. “It's not like that! Shut up!” Okay, that red wasn't anger. It obviously _was_ like that. Even I could see it.

"Well, um, like I told you, our class got two new transfer students, and apparently Gessen, and Hebijo got one each at the same time too. It seemed like a weird coincidence, right? So many transfer students in the middle of the year? But one of our transfer students, Linkle—” She paused to gesture toward me. “She says it's not a coincidence, and the Hebijo transfer student is up to no good. And then that student called her out in the middle of the night pretending to be someone else, and then was mind controlling another Hebijo student in order to attack her. Just her. So, yeah, we gotta do something.”

Casual girl sighed. “You know they’d kill us on sight, right?”

“You fought them for us before,” Asuka said.

“We fought them for _you_ before.” Casual girl was turning red again. “Not some random transfer student we haven't met yet.” I gave her a wave, like, please don't talk about me like I'm not here, or like I am here but too stupid to understand you.

“I don't see the difference,” a green haired girl said. Her voice was particularly deadpan. “It’s just helping Hanzo again. If we did it before, why not now?”

“There is a difference!”

“Yeah, we’re coming out here for this?” a particularly short, young looking girl with an eye patch said. “I could be at home working on my next book.”

“Excuse me, miss Mirai, be polite to our visitors.” This was from a taller girl, with neatly curled dirty blonde hair.

“S-sorry, Mistress Haruka!” I didn't want to know what was going on there.

The bickering continued, with one of them demanding to know why I hadn't told them myself what the issue was, and Tris having to storm over and tell them I was selectively mute. Before long, Tris was passing around her phone, presumably to show them the text I'd sent. But that didn't seem to solve anything.

While they kept arguing, I turned my attention to the Gessen students. One of them, a girl with ice blue eyes and silvery hair, had come to stand next to Asuka, hearing out the argument between her and the girl with the obvious crush on her. The others were just talking with the other Hanzo students. Hibari was chatting cheerfully with a girl with pigtails. Kat was chasing around a girl with short dark hair, obviously with the intent to cop a feel. Shiki noticed me looking at her, and gave a wave. I waved back.

Then I saw her...

A girl with long golden hair, and blue eyes, and a certain level of poise and elegance to her. She was sitting on a stump, ankles crossed all ladylike, casually observing the chaos of all these ninja girls gathered together in one place. I only had to glance at her to know that was the transfer student. Because, and this is gonna sound cheesy, but it felt like I'd known her my whole life. Like every moment up until now was just waiting for her to appear. Maybe I'd known her even _longer_ than my whole life. Like, not in a cheesy romantic sense, not at all. But like... I didn't know how else to think of it.

“It's you, isn't it?” I looked around for who had spoken, for a second, before realizing it was a thought in my head. A thought I hadn't put there. What the...?

“You hear me, don't you?” it continued. “I can hear what you're thinking, too. You're wondering what’s happening.” I felt myself get startled into making a weird squeaking noise. “It’s me, the Gessen transfer student. My name’s Zelda. You’re... Linkle? That’s... different than usual. You’re usually male, but this time it seems like all three of us are female, aren't we?”

All _three_ of us? _This_ time? Was this supposed to be confirmation that my weird dreams had indeed been past lives, and all of them were part of an endless cycle of repetition of events like these?

“Yes, exactly. It took me awhile to remember what was going on, myself, but it came to me when I felt the power coming from... my scroll, I suppose.”

So I'm literally the last to know _anything_.

“You usually are.”

I must have gotten visibly offended, because Tris looked over at me.

“You okay?” she asked.

I held up a finger to shush her.

“I’ll give you a quick rundown, I suppose,” Zelda said in my head again. “There’s a power called the Triforce, that bends to its owner’s will and grants them the ability to wish the world they want into existence. There are three pieces to it. Currently... one’s in your scroll. One's in my scroll. One’s in Ganondorf’s scroll. To gain its complete power, one needs to collect all three pieces. Naturally, Ganondorf wants to collect them, to make the world bend to his—her? Evil will. Traditionally, you're the hero that rises to fight h—her every time... she appears. I’m typically a princess, and my role is to aid you.”

I nodded at her the whole time, making sure she knew I understood. But then, what was Tris?

“Tris? Oh, you have a twin sister this time. That _is_ interesting. As far as I can remember, you've only had a sister in one other iteration, and in that circumstance, she was more of a damsel in distress type. So, as to what role your sister plays this time, I'm not sure. It remains to be seen. She does assist you a lot given your inability to really speak, doesn't she? Perhaps that's her intended role, here in a world where no one knows who you are, and won't really regard you as much otherwise.”

Yeah, that's... a thing. But it didn't matter. We had to figure out a way to get this across to all our classmates, and their friends, and possibly even some of the Hebijo students, the ones we could trust, like Murasaki. So they could help us... do whatever we need to do to stop Ganondorf from getting our scrolls.

“Yes, we typically find a way to seal him in another realm. Sometimes we kill him.”

And now she's a seemingly innocent eighteen year old girl. So, convincing people she needs to die? _That'll_ go over well.

“It’ll make itself evident to everyone else soon enough. Anyway, hold on. Let me try to explain the situation to our classmates.” And she got up and strode over to the cluster of what appeared to be the group leaders: Asuka with Ikaruga and Tris to back her up, the casual ponytail girl, and the silvery haired, blue eyed ice girl. She spent a minute or so talking to them, and...

“May I have everyone's attention, please?” she asked, as loud and clear as a bell.

And everyone turned to listen to her, just like that. How come no one ever listens to _me?_ Sure, I don't talk. But I communicate as best as I can. And it still feels like I'm sending messages to a rock.

Anyway, no time to be bitter. I went to go stand by her side as she explained the same thing she'd explained to me, to the entire group. She even mentioned that, even though I’d forgotten the exact circumstances, I'd had dreams of my past lives, and that was why I'd been so frantic to communicate the threat to everyone.

And they seemed like they just... believed her.

When they never would have believed me.

Maybe it was because she was just so poised and super eloquent about everything. Or maybe just because she was capable of... y'know... actual words in the first place. Maybe if I was able to just explain what I knew, I would have been believed.

I shouldn't have been salty. I needed to remember to be grateful I had a good communicator on my side now.

Yet, even as everyone realized the looming threat, we all still had no idea what to do about it. Like I thought, saying we need to kill a seemingly innocent girl wouldn't go over well with anyone. So, for now, there seemed to be a few different ideas on the table.

That Mirai girl seemed to think we should just sit around and _wait_ for her to do something evil enough that would justify attacking her. But then Haruka shook her head at her.

“You're just saying that because you don't want to get involved, is all. Don't be lazy.” Then Haruka decided to look square at me. “We definitely need to help this cutie out, don't we?” And she gave me a bit too painful jab in the shoulder in a way that came off as... well, her flirting with me. Which sucked, because it _hurt_. But something told me her idea of that kind of thing involved causing pain, so... it is what it is, I guess.

“It does seem to me it's quite important for us to help her, doesn't it?” Another one of the casually dressed girls, a blonde in a tracksuit, was giving me another weird look. Something about her felt very ladylike and poised, in spite of her attire and apparently living out here in the woods. “But, yes, I'm not really sure what the first step ought to be. We can't just rush in and attack this girl that's set to be a huge threat to us all, but we can't just wait for her to start things either...”

“Take some time to gather intel, at least,” Haruka said.

“That's true.” Tracksuit girl nodded. “By the way, miss Linkle, if I may ask... do you like bean sprouts?”

I nodded, even though I had no idea what that had to do with anything. I mean, bean sprouts were good in, like, salads and stir fry...

“See, I knew you were trustworthy! And very down to earth, besides. Some people are just too haughty to appreciate the goodness of bean sprouts, you know. Isn't that upsetting?” Interesting test of character, but okay.

The icy Gessen girl came over to me too, and looked me over, before outright standing between me and the casually dressed girls.

“A legendary hero, hm? You don't look too dangerous, but looks can be deceiving, can't they? You certainly do seem very pure and virtuous, putting yourself out there like this just to try to prevent evil from taking its hold. It's a shame we have to work with them, isn't it?”

I tilted my head in question.

“The Crimson Squad, or whatever they call themselves. They were former students of Hebijo themselves. They like to claim they changed their ways when they became renegades, but does evil ever really change?”

I shrugged at her, and decided not to let ice girl know I was close with Murasaki.

“In any case, I think it's important to be proactive in terms of all this. Sure, we can't just go in and attack the Hebijo transfer student, but we can't wait for her to make the first move either. We have to figure out a way to lure her out into doing something, while we're already ready to strike. Like cheese in a mouse trap. You get me?”

I nodded. That sounded like the most solid plan so far.

Overall, it had gone well. Zelda had been able to communicate to everyone the things we feared would come to pass, and everyone else believed us. They were all willing to pitch in however they could, in order to prevent the Hebijo transfer student from stealing the scrolls she was after. So I was super relieved.

Until I was chilling at home that night, after everything that'd happened that day.

“You've got a lot of admirers,” a voice said, barging into my head without any warning.

“Zelda?! You can get into my mind all the way from wherever you're at right now?” I thought, directing it at her.

“Well, yes. Don't worry, I won't make a habit of it unless it's necessary. And even if I do end up in there by accident, it's hard to find anything. Do you have ADHD?”

“No,” I thought to her.

“Ah, so you have undiagnosed ADHD.” It took me longer than I'd like to admit to puzzle that one out. She kept going anyway. “Really, though, did you pick up on just how many of those girls were interested in you? My classmate Yumi seemed to develop an admiration of you right away. Then there was that Crimson Squad girl who asked you about bean sprouts who was making eyes at you too. And that other Crimson Squad girl who called you a cutie, she definitely meant it...”

I sighed out loud, hoping Tris wouldn't hear me across the bedroom and ask me what my deal was.

“Really? I have _more_ girls with weird things for me? Because there's already this girl who gave me a kiss on the cheek recently, and I'm still trying to puzzle out if that one's a friendship kiss or something else.”

“Ah. She's from Hebijo, isn't she? Don't worry, I don't believe they're all as evil as Ganondorf, so unlike many others, I won't fault you for hanging out with her. But, yes, I'm willing to bet it was certainly not just a friendship kiss. You have quite the list of admirers.”

“That's... something... does this _usually_ happen?”

“The male version of you does tend to attract a lot of female attention, yes.”

“So this _always_ happens?”

“This always happens.”

“Great. Well, I'll cross those bridges when I get to them. For now, can you get out of my head so I can go to bed soon?”  
“Of course. Have a good night's sleep.”

It's always something, isn't it?


	8. Gratuitous Schoolgirl Uniforms

It wasn’t long before another meeting was called, with all of us gathering in the woods by the cave where the Crimson Squad lived. (Yeah, they lived in a cave, because they were in exile or something. Apparently they used to be Hebijo students too, but they got kicked out because they weren't evil enough for evil school.) (Apparently Murasaki and company were evil enough for evil school though, which didn't make sense to me.) Maybe it was just me, but such a big group seemed... excessive? Like, yeah, deciding on a next step was important. We couldn't just wait around. But did it really take this many of us, making all of ourselves a target?  
“I know. It really is excessive. Too many cooks spoil the soup, or whatever it is. We do need to pare it down for next time.”  
I didn't appreciate having my head broken into this much, even though I was being agreed with. But maybe she ought to tell them that, because they wouldn't listen to me, no matter how I tried to convey it.  
“I’ll try.”  
Well, thanks.  
As soon as everyone gathered in the forest clearing, I just kinda went to stand around behind Zelda, hoping she’d take charge of the whatever. But apparently that Haruka girl had other ideas. She strode up to us, but, uh, only looked at me when she was talking.  
“So, cutie, did you give any thought to my suggestion about gathering intel?”  
I nodded.  
“That would be quite useful, but how do you propose we do that?” Zelda asked. “Sneak into Hebijo itself?”  
But Haruka still kept only addressing me.  
“I’m glad my advice was able to be of use, then. So, do you agree we should sneak into Hebijo? The Crimson Squad used to be students there, so we should come along. We’ll know how to get around inside the school grounds. Plus, we still have our old uniforms from when we went there, so whoever’s coming can put them on and we’ll blend in perfectly.”  
I nodded, as did Zelda.  
“Yes, that's quite clever.”  
“All right, then,” Haruka said. “We can plan that.”  
In the meantime, Hibari had darted over to us.   
“Ooh, Mistress Haruka, can I come too?”  
Yagyuu had followed Hibari over. She gave her a look.  
“This is an espionage mission. Too many people isn’t good for espionage.”  
I seemed to remember Hibari mentioning Haruka before... and then it hit me. That was the time Yagyuu got all salty about it, which made it pretty clear to me that Yagyuu had a thing for Hibari, and was jealous of Haruka for getting in the way. Which meant that, if Haruka kept acting all like she was hitting on me, I'd be dragged into that mire of drama. Great.  
Tris had come over as well, obviously eager to give her opinion.  
“Well, I don’t know if you know this, but we already kinda made friends with some of the girls from Hebijo. Before we knew who they were. Yeah...”  
“I know, and I’m not going to judge you for it,” Zelda said, nodding.  
“Yeah, but I mean, I’m thinking we should use that to our advantage to get some help from the inside?”  
I bit my lip. That seemed like it could be a good idea, but it could also be... more trouble than it was worth.  
“That’s an idea,” Zelda said. “But we think it’s more trouble than it's worth.”  
“We? What do you mean, we?” Tris asked.  
“Oh. Yes. Your sister and I are connected by fate, so I can communicate with her telepathically,” Zelda said, matter of factly.  
“What?!” Tris looked like she was about to explode like one of her remote bomb weapons.  
“What do you mean?”  
I sighed, feeling like I knew where this was going to go. And I was right.  
“Up until this point, I was the one telling everyone what my selectively mute twin sister is thinking, and now you just come in and start reading her mind, and telling everyone exactly what she wants to say, and it’s like I’m pointless now. Besides, did you ever think there are things in her mind she doesn’t want to share with you?”  
“Well, she definitely has undiagnosed ADHD. She oversleeps constantly, loses things, is constantly bouncing and squirming like some kind of idle animation, and—well, I know part of her is actually listening right now, but another part is wondering why pineapples are called pineapples. And then there are about a dozen other parts.”  
“That bad, huh?”  
“I feel like I'm trying to stick mail into a mailbox that's already stuffed with other mail, children's craft projects, and literal garbage.” Zelda shook her head.  
My brain is not full of literal garbage, thank you very much. Some of the stuff I think about is extremely valid. And, I mean, they're not related to pine, or to apples, so why... ?  
“In any case, we don't think it's a good idea to let anyone inside of Hebijo know that we're planning to sneak in there. It's more trouble than it's worth, and also makes things a greater risk, since the more people who know about a secret plan, the more people there are that can say something that renders it not a secret anymore.”  
“I guess,” Tris snapped, in a way that let me know she was still pissed about not being the one person who knew me the best anymore. But, in my opinion, she should be grateful. If she didn't have to be the one to look out for me and communicate on my behalf all the time now, then she was free to spend more time with Ryona... doing... whatever she did with Ryona, that I didn't want to think about. “Besides, do you really think any of the Hebijo girls are trustworthy?” I looked up to see Yumi had strode up and started giving her opinion. “I'm not even sure if I trust the so-called Crimson Squad. I mean, once evil, always evil, I say.”  
“We know what you say, in that regard.” Zelda sounded a bit angrier than I expected. “But something tells me that Crimson Squad and even Hebijo's ideas of evil are really quite mild compared to the sorts of things Linkle and I have dealt with in the past. I mean, not that I'm trying to one-up you or anything, or invalidate the battles you've fought, but... the Hebijo students probably don't even realize what kind of evil power they have in their midst right now.”  
“Hmph.” Yumi looked indignant.  
“We are letting you use our training grounds for your mission, so you should at least be grateful,” Haruka said, having strutted back over to us and was now standing way, way too close to me. Personal space bubble, please. “Like, it's fine if you don't trust us, but do you have to talk crap about us on our own turf?” She shook her head, before turning back toward me. “Anyway, cutie, have you decided who's going on your mission with you? That way I know how many Hebijo uniforms to get.”  
“Well,” Zelda said, “We were thinking that she and I go, because we can communicate telepathically, so if we have to split up then we'll each go a separate way and still be able to know what the other group is doing. That, and since you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, you should definitely be coming along with us. So, the three of us, and one more from Crimson Squad. Who would you suggest?”  
“I was asking this cutie, not you, but you make a fair point.” There was venom in Haruka's tone, that made it clear she saw Zelda as some kind of threat standing between her and whatever she wanted to do to me.  
“Well, that... um... cutie... can't exactly use her words, now, can she?”  
“True.” Haruka shrugged, accidentally-but-probably-actually-on-purpose elbowing me in the side when she did. “Maybe we take Yomi?”  
The blonde girl in the tracksuit came over when called upon, a sweet smile plastered across her face as she looked us over.  
“I'd be extremely happy to help miss Linkle in her efforts to help keep this town safe,” she said. “I'm just a bit concerned since I often find it difficult to work with... princesses.”  
“I'm not a princess this time,” Zelda said, sighing a little.  
“But you might as well be.” Yomi's tone was cutting, even though she was still faking that serene smile. “It's a shame that someone so down-to-earth and knowledgeable about how the common people live, is forced to rely on the wealthy for help.” Ugh. Can't we all just get along against a common enemy, damn it? Why did everyone have to bicker so much?  
“We're going to have to get along if we're going to succeed on this mission together.” Thank you, Zelda, for voicing my concerns, when no one else would.  
“We'll get along, all right,” Haruka said, putting her arm around my shoulder and squeezing me into her. “We'll do whatever it takes to get along, because we don't want to upset this poor cutie here.”  
“Yes, that's right.” Yomi gave a tiny polite bow in my direction.  
Ugh. Was I the reason everyone was bickering?  
“Here, let me get the uniforms,” Haruka said. “I'll be right back.” And she disappeared... somewhere up the mountain, returning minutes later with several of the black and red school uniforms we'd seen Ryobi, Ryona, and Murasaki wear before. These uniforms were, for some reason, shorter and tighter looking than those we had to wear at Hanzo... and also than what Zelda had to wear at Gessen. I guess more evil equals more provocative, for some reason?  
“You'd best try these on, the two of you, to make sure they fit.” Haruka handed one to me, and kept her gaze fixed on me at the same time, grinning like a cat who'd caught a mouse. With me as the mouse, obviously. Really?  
I sighed and nodded, before grabbing the uniform and scurrying off to stand behind a tree. I tried to change as quickly as I could, before someone like Haruka came to take a peek. But, damn it, this uniform really was tighter and shorter. The top had been literally cut short, like with a knife or something, so it barely covered my chest, and the skirt was just as useless at covering my butt. You'd think a school would be against straight up cutting up the uniform to make it skimpier, but I guess when your students are being taught how to kill for money, propriety is not a concern. Whose was this, I wondered?  
“I gave you Hikage's uniform because I thought it'd fit you the best,” Haruka said, still looking at me with a smirk like she wanted to eat me. And now that I was so uncovered, it kind of took on a different meaning. “Looks like I was right.” And she straight up licked her lips, sending a shiver down my spine. Please no. She grabbed the tie and yanked on it, causing me to squeak. “You're so cute in this.”  
Zelda had also changed into the Hebijo uniform she'd been given, to try it on as well. She seemed to be having the same damn problem I was, with the skirt barely covering anything, although at least the top half of hers hadn't been sliced up to shreds. It covered her chest, but exposed about an inch of her midriff. Instead of, you know, the bottom of my boobs and my entire midriff. Ugh.  
“Hikage's old uniform really does suit you,” Yomi said, giggling at me all daintily while she blushed.  
“I'll say!”  
Shit. I'd gathered a small group around me, of all the girls Zelda had pointed out as possible admirers of me before. Yumi was eyeing me up in a way where it was like she was trying to pretend she was disappointed in me for putting on a Hebijo uniform, but it was clear what that look really was. And Kat...   
Kat had reached her hands right up the short little top and was groping my boobs again. I was glad I wore a good bra, that would prevent her from being able to feel right through the fabric. I felt my face get all hot and red, and squealed as I tried to fight Kat off. Haruka was standing there, watching the whole thing, giggling. Even Yomi and Yumi looked amused at my predicament.   
Can you make them stop? I pleaded with Zelda from inside my head.  
“Do you really have to treat our hero with such a level of disrespect?” she said, softly, on my behalf, but not really helping anything.  
“It's not disrespect,” Kat insisted, still groping. She'd pushed me to the ground and was now straddling me so I couldn't even get up. “This is what I do to people I care about!”  
I nodded meekly. Zelda just raised an eyebrow.  
“You grope your friends?”  
“Yeah, I do. It's how I express affection.” Kat had finally gotten up off of me, allowing me to get back on my feet. I promptly folded my arms over all the parts of me the cut top was showing. “So I'm kinda glad this whole thing is happening, since it means I get to meet even more new allies I get to be friends with.” I started to see where this was going. “I mean, I do need to get to know you better...”  
And, yeah, what I knew was going to happen... was what happened. Kat charged at Zelda, grabby hands at the ready. Zelda dodged expertly, being particularly nimble at stuff like that apparently. Kat almost fell face first into the ground, but regained her balance just in time, and began her pursuit again. Zelda was holding her arm up in front of her boobs in a defensive stance. I shook my head at her.  
Just let it happen, I thought to her. It makes her happy, and it, uh, feels kinda nice?  
She sighed and stopped trying to dodge or block Kat's advances. And before long, she was getting the treatment us Hanzo students knew all too well. Kat gripped intently at the grey fabric of the Gessen school uniform top, pressing her fingers deep into what was underneath that fabric, squeezing gleefully. Zelda just stood there, her mouth in a straight line.  
“I can't believe I'm letting this happen,” she thought to me.  
“You get used to it,” I thought back. “It happens to me all the time.”  
She shook her head and sighed as Kat finally let up. Kat nodded in approval.  
“I like you,” she said. “You've got good boobs.”  
“That's your qualification for liking people?” Zelda asked.  
“Not the only one, but it's a bonus.”  
“Can we plan what we need to do?”  
“Yes, yes, let's plan,” Haruka said, striding back over. “We'll go three days from now, if that's all right. Yomi and I will lead the way, since we used to go there. We'll know what gate to use, when the guards change shifts, and all that sort of thing. We'll have to operate under the assumption that nothing big has changed since we were Hebijo students, though...” She sighed.  
“Knowing what it used to be is better than not knowing anything at all,” Yomi said.  
“Exactly. So, with that said, if we do need to split up, we need to split up properly. After all, Yomi and I know the school. And like you said before, the two of you have a telepathic connection, so you can communicate with each other even if you're separated. That way, if Yomi and I go one way and you two go another, that's no good. So, it has to be like this: Zelda follows Yomi, and Linkle follows me. Sound like a plan?”  
I swallowed. I didn't exactly like the idea of being alone with Haruka, the way she kept looking at me and all that. And Yomi... as soon as Zelda was mentioned, Yomi started glaring at her. She seemed to hate her for some reason that I couldn't even guess. Maybe it would be better if it was me and Yomi, with Haruka and Zelda, instead?  
“It could go both ways, couldn't it?” Yomi was the one suggesting it. “I mean, as long as we have one former Hebijo student in each group, then it could also be me with Linkle, and you with Zelda.”  
I nodded enthusiastically.  
“But then we have to think too hard, in a moment where every second counts,” Haruka said. “It's easier if we stick to one form of the buddy system, so we don't have to think too hard about who we're following. Zelda follows Yomi, and Linkle follows me.”  
“That does make sense,” Zelda said, causing me to petulantly grind my foot into the dirt. You're supposed to advocate for me, damn it, not leave me alone with creepy girl. “That will be the plan. What's our ultimate destination within Hebijo grounds, then?”  
“The elite students have their classrooms at the top of a tower,” Yomi said. “We'll get to a place where we can see into those classrooms, and use that vantage point to spy on the girl you two are worried about. You can gather all the information we can, and then we'll show you how to escape without being caught.”  
“That works.” Zelda nodded. “This is happening three days from now, then. It just feels so... I don't know. Like I'm not ready.”  
We have to do this, I told her in my head, puffing out my cheeks in a huff as I did. The longer we wait, the more time she has to do something horrible. Yeah, we don't have a perfect plan. We're just kind of cobbling it together as we go. But waiting around isn't going to make it any easier.  
“Well, I suppose I'm as ready as I'm going to be.”  
Ha. At least someone around here listens to me.  
“Can we go home now then?” Tris asked. Until now, she'd had her face buried in her phone. “There's no cell service out here, and I'm trying to text a... friend.”  
That “friend” was Ryona, wasn't it? I sighed.  
“Yes, let's disperse,” Haruka said. “It is a little risky for all of us to be gathered here in the woods this way. See you in three days, then, cutie?”  
I nodded, and went to walk away. But as I did, she smacked my butt. Just lightly, teasingly, but enough to... I don't know. Whatever. Enough to make me really uncomfortable, that's whatever. I bit down on my lip. I could deal with that part of everything when the important stuff was dealt with. I followed Tris home, quiet as usual, as she kept stopping every few feet to try to text, and see if it went through.  
Speaking of texting...  
Later that evening, my phone went off, and I looked at it to discover it was a message from Murasaki.  
“i don't think you guys should be doing the thing where you're gonna sneak into hebijo. sounds way too risky. but something tells me you're not gonna stop just because i say so, so good luck i guess. don't get killed please. i like you too much.”  
Well, shit. Looked like Tris already told them about our plan, even though everyone literally told Tris not to tell them. But when does she ever listen? Then again, Murasaki had a point. I tend not to listen either...  
I wasn't even going to go into how weird it made me feel, having her say she liked me too much. After what I still decided to count as a friendship kiss even though it probably wasn't? I didn't feel like dealing with the whole girls-having-crushes-on-me thing. Because I can deal with trying to protect the power of the Triforce from evil, or I can deal with girls. But dealing with both at once is a bit too much.


	9. Strip Tennis

It wasn't long before the four of us set out to sneak into Hebijo: me, Zelda, Haruka, and Yomi. We were each wearing the Hebijo uniforms, the ones that used to belong to the Crimson Squad when they still went there. And, just as before, I was stuck with the one that apparently used to belong to Hikage. The one that she cut short to be a crop top that was barely long enough to cover her boobs. Thus, barely long enough to cover mine. Great.  
We followed Haruka and Yomi, Haruka in particular, as they led us to where we needed to go. Apparently, we'd gotten there at just the right time. It was around lunchtime, when Haruka claimed was right when the guards at the west gate changed shifts, if things were still the same as when she was a student. That gave us time to slip into the school grounds undetected. And then we'd blend in, because we had the uniforms on.  
Hopefully no one would realize that Zelda and I weren't familiar faces, or that Haruka and Yomi were familiar faces. Faces that were in exile and were supposed to be killed if they ever showed up here again. Remind me again why we're doing this?  
“Because we have to,” Zelda thought to me, butting into my head again.  
Yeah, but they're risking their lives for us here. Why are they willing to do that exactly?  
“Because they're allies with Hanzo, and because Haruka... well. Her admiration of your assets is certainly a contributing factor.”  
Don't remind me.  
I was glad we had Haruka leading us, though. It didn't seem like we could really rely on Yomi that much. Mostly because she was busy looking around, wide eyed. I could tell this was bringing back a lot of memories for her, both good and bad. I mean, I always had that same stupid look on my face when I was remembering a thing from one of my past lives. So I could kinda relate.  
Zelda wasn't quite as patient with her, though.  
“You could do with acting a bit more natural,” she whispered at Yomi. Bad idea. It was like someone hit a switch on Yomi that sent her from spacey to pissed.  
“I don't listen to princesses when they tell me what to do,” she snapped.  
“I am not a princess in this form.”  
“You might as well be, little miss rich girl.”  
“I couldn't help that I was born into a wealthy family.”  
“Hmph. You probably don't even know the value of bean sprouts.”  
I shushed the both of them. Even though the bickering probably looked pretty natural for high school girls...  
By then, we were on the roof of the second highest floor, right where Haruka had led us to go. That way, we could climb the wall to the highest floor, and break into the elite students' class area through a window. It would be less expected and likely for us to get caught that way, than if we went in through the designated secret entrance tunnel, and also we'd have more space on the roof to flee if we needed to.  
The closer we got, though, the more visibly nervous Yomi was getting. She was chewing her lip enough that it'd started bleeding. I mean, it made sense. The elite students would know who she was, and apparently had actively sought her out before, trying to kill her to regain their school's lost pride. The pride they felt the renegades of the Crimson Squad tarnished.  
Hopefully the elite students would be smart enough now to put pride aside.  
We got to the place in the wall where we were supposed to climb, and naturally, I started first. This was my battle to fight, so I was the one who was going to put myself the most in harm's way. It wasn't hard to go up, given all the wooden beams and brackets that were easy to grab onto. Once I was high up enough that someone else could start climbing under me, Yomi got on next. And it was only after she and I were both up pretty high that Zelda cautiously got on herself.  
The wind fluttered my uniform skirt, and I suddenly became hyper conscious of what panties I'd put on this morning. I just grabbed the first thing from the clean clothes pile, not considering that they were in fact cheeky boyshorts. Great. If Kat were here, she'd be having a field day.  
But it wasn't the time for that now.  
I peered into the window, which was already cracked open enough to let in the breeze from the nice day. The class was having their lunch break, just sitting around all casual and munching on stuff from their lunchboxes. There they were. Ryobi, Ryona, and Murasaki, who we knew. Then, a girl with a short, masculine haircut, where she would look like a particularly pretty boy if it weren't for her curves. Then, another girl, with glasses, having an eager conversation with... the girl with fiery red hair. Ganondorf herself.  
I squeezed the brackets until my knuckles turned white. Familiarity swirled around in my head like mist, and part of me wanted to dissolve into it, to see these visions of the past, and find out what they had to say to me. But I knew if I did that now, I'd go tumbling right off the wall. I had to focus. To try to listen in on the conversation as much as I could hear through the sliver of open window.  
“Really, you need to lighten up,” glasses girl said. “I know you wanna prove yourself to the elite class and all, but you can do something else besides study and train. We wanted to go shopping after school today, and we really want you to come...”  
Short hair girl nodded. “Yes, it's important to get to know your fellow students. We are going to be fighting together in life or death situations. When things get like that, you don't just need to know how to fight. You need to know how your teammates have your back, and how you have to have theirs.”  
Finally, Ganondorf spoke. Her speech was rigid. She was not good at acting normal.  
“Hmph. And you think this... shopping... will serve as a team building activity enough to increase our power in battle?”  
“Did you... not have friends in your old school?” glasses girl asked.  
“I didn't have time for dealing with those pathetic―”  
“You really have an ego, you know that?” Short hair girl gave Ganondorf a stern look.   
“Egotistical?” She laughed her cruel laugh again, the one that sent shivers down my spine.  
“Yeah,” glasses girl said, nodding. “If you're really all that, then how about this? Miyabi and I, versus you, by yourself. If you win? You get bragging rights, and we'll get off your back about hanging out and stuff. But if we win? You'll go shopping with us. Today.”  
She just laughed again. The deepest, darkest, coldest laugh I ever heard come out of an otherwise cute, busty eighteen year old girl. “Is that what you want? You've got guts, if you think―” But suddenly, she shut up.  
She made a weird jerking motion, as if she was about to look at the back of her hand, like checking the time on an old-school watch. But then she shook her head, and looked down at her own big boobs instead. Like she'd suddenly forgotten where her scroll was hidden, and had to just kind of glance in the right direction to make sure it was still there.  
And she started glancing around, increasingly frantically.  
I could feel it too. The weird subconscious urge to look at my hand, except my left instead of right, expecting to see a soft golden glow emanating from it. Obviously there wasn't. Instead, though... well. I could definitely feel the resonance of an extreme power from within my cleavage. It's hard to describe how that power feels, but it's simultaneously warming and motivating while also anxiety inducing? It sounds like a total contradiction, but... it's like your adrenaline is pumping, telling you there's danger nearby, but that you're definitely ready for a fight response. Ready to unleash everything you've got, to defend to the death the strength resonating from deep inside your very soul.  
Or just from between your boobs.  
I took a deep breath in and looked back into the window. Now glasses girl and short hair girl were looking at each other. They didn't really need words to express their bewilderment, but I did hear a soft “what the fuck.” Ganondorf was starting to build some kind of growing rage inside her, one as fiery as her hair, as she stormed over to a table and slammed her fist against it for what seemed like no apparent reason. But some of us knew there was a reason.  
It was enough to elicit a sharp gasp from Murasaki, whose teddy bear was sitting right by her side. She snatched it up and gave it a squeeze, before burying the lower half of her face into its head. Probably so no one could hear her hyperventilating.  
Then I noticed redhead was now storming over to the window. The one we were at.  
There was no way I wouldn't be seen. I quickly jumped down from my perch at it, preparing to hit the roof with a quick somersault, focus my own scroll into a transformation, and get into a fighting stance. So I'd be ready for her.  
I'd gotten so worked up that I forgot Yomi and Zelda were still both beneath me. So, uh, I hit Yomi in the face.  
With my butt.  
My skirt had flipped up, and Yomi got a face full of my cheeky boyshort panties.  
I let out a yell of sheer frustration before scrambling to my feet. Yomi did as well. Soon she and Zelda were both just standing there, each of them turning red. Yomi had a nosebleed, but when I looked at her, she covered it with her hands. Haruka was down a level from the rest of us, but she let out a sharp laugh when she saw what was going on.  
“Now is not the time,” Zelda said, shaking her head.  
I shooed them away with a hand gesture before focusing on my still resonating scroll and getting ready for an intense battle. They obeyed without question, and I watched them scurry away, Yomi's hands still covering her face. I wasted no time nocking an arrow to my bow and aiming it toward the window.  
I had to take a few deep breaths to steady my hands. I didn't want my friends to be casualties of this. This was my fight, and mine alone.   
But I... um... I guessed if I died today, I'd die with the knowledge that I have a hot butt?  
“You're not going to die.” Zelda was standing beside me. “This isn't just your fight. It's mine as well.” She paused. “And, as for the latter half of that, well... it's good we've got motivation to get others to fight for our cause?”  
Now it was my turn to be like, now is not the time. Because Ganondorf had hoisted the window open and was now climbing out it onto the roof with us.  
“Really? I'll get to kill both of you at once? I suppose I owe you my thanks for making my job so much easier.”  
The short haired girl, Miyabi, had also clamored out the window, in pursuit of her crazy classmate.  
“What are you doing?” she asked.  
“We've got a handful of little impostors here, trying to pass themselves off as Hebijo students. And two of them have something I need.”  
“How did you know they were out there?”  
“I...” Ganondorf clutched her arms over her ample chest. “I felt their power resonating.”  
Ha. So that was where she kept her scroll. Maybe all I had to do was get it from her, and this whole thing could be over with. I quickly tucked my bow away and instead drew my sword. With an instinctual yell, I sliced her school top open. She had gauzy binding over her chest underneath that, and I could see a golden glow from her cleavage.  
How does one get an important item out of someone else's cleavage without looking like the biggest pervert ever?  
“You little—”  
She hurled a ball of glowing, crackling energy at me. I was able to deflect it with my sword just in time. She tried to deflect it back with her hand, but missed, and it ended up hitting her. It burned away at the fabric of her glove where it made contact, but didn't affect her otherwise.   
It certainly didn't stop her from hurling another. One I couldn't deflect fast enough. One that hit me in the chest, basically vaporizing what was left of the already tiny Hebijo uniform top that Hikage had cut up. I was left in just a short skirt and a bra, super glad I'd managed to build up an immunity to feeling awkward being half naked in front of people.  
Again, she sent another ball of energy flying my way. I deflected it with a vertical slice, sending it downward. It hit her skirt, and of course affected that fabric, fraying the skirt so it was so short it showed off she was wearing lacy black whatever the girl equivalent of boxers is. I mean, I guessed they were kinda boyshorts but thankfully much less cheeky.  
Miyabi was shaking her head.  
“What is this? Strip tennis?”  
I mean, I guessed you could put it that way.  
Suddenly, Ryona came bounding out the window and onto the roof. She charged in front of Zelda and I, serving as a barrier between us and Ganondorf. She started jumping up and down, some of her doing a lot of bouncing as she did. Bounce, bounce, bounce.  
“Ooh, me! Me! Hit me with those!”  
“Get out of the way, you imbecile,” Ganondorf practically snarled at her.  
“I'm an imbecile,” Ryona said, squealing with glee. “I'm a stupid bitch. If you shoot those weird balls at me, it'll hurt, and it'll burn my clothes off too. I'll look like a dumb slut. And it'll feel so good. Does it burn like fire? I want to feel it.”  
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ganondorf asked. I guessed I was more used to Ryona's... Ryona behavior than she was, even though the two of them were actual classmates.  
“Now's our chance to get away,” Yomi said, dashing over to tug at my arm.  
I puffed out my cheeks in frustration, stomping my foot against the roof tiles. I didn't want to flee this fight. I wanted to take her down. There was just too much chaos in the way for me to do it.  
“No, it's best we go,” Zelda said. “We got what we came here for—more information about exactly what's going on with Ganondorf.”  
I crossed my arms in a huff and refused to budge.  
“We know she knows about us. We know she knows about the Triforce. And we know her classmates think she's odd and can tell there's something up with her. So let's go.”  
I sighed. I guessed we did have more info now than we did before, but had it really been worth risking all four of our lives for it? Well, if we left now, at least we'd be safe. I turned to scurry back down the wall the way we came, and the rest of the group followed.  
But I could still hear the yelling from up there on the roof.  
“You... they got away. They got away, and it was all because of you, you—” The smacking sound of a fist connecting with flesh, followed by a moan of pleasure.  
“Ooooohhh, again please!”  
I exhaled sharply in amusement. Looked like Ganondorf figured out what happens when you try to beat up Ryona.  
Haruka laughed too as we fled the scene, completely disregarding the peril of, you know, being in enemy territory with people who'd kill us on sight if they realized what was going on.  
“Running away scared? You bad little girl.” And she slapped my ass like before, except way less lightly. This time it was hard enough that it stung. I yelped. Zelda shook her head.  
“We were not scared,” she said. “We were doing the sensible thing.”  
I was too busy to be offended, because I was, uh, learning things about myself in that moment. Apparently, though I wasn't quite as bad, I had a little... Ryona tendency of my own. Because, uh, it was kinda a turn-on to have my ass slapped and to be called a bad little girl? I didn't want it to be, but it was. Obviously I wasn't going to be like Ryona and base my whole life around chasing the questionable pleasure of being hit, but... I couldn't help but feel dirty.  
And now Zelda was shaking her head at me.  
“It's all right. You deserve a little... release after all that's been going on for you lately.” She gave a reassuring smile. “Just... I'm never going to do that to you, just so you know.”  
I felt myself turning bright red as my face got really, really hot. Haruka seemed to be picking up the vibes I was putting down, and a smirk spread across her face.  
“You do deserve a little release after all this,” she said. “I could definitely help you with that, if you wanted.”  
I shook my head no.  
“You sure?”  
I nodded.  
“Well, if you say so. But if you ever need anything like that, you can always ask me.”  
By the time I got home safely, I felt like I was basically self immolating with embarrassment. Ugh. I stepped into the apartment, feeling how bad I was blushing, which sucked, because Tris was right there on the couch.  
“How'd everything go?” she asked. “I got a few texts from Ryona. She said she was surprised to see you show up at her school, and she didn't understand what you were doing there, but in the end it worked out for her because she got beat up and it was fun.”  
I nodded, while sighing in sheer exasperation. If I could communicate better, I would've explained, but I definitely didn't have it in me at the moment.  
Later that night, I got texts from Murasaki about the whole ordeal.  
“i told u not to come and u did it anyway. no offense but why am i not surprised. i hope u got the info u came for?”  
“I guess we got some info,” I messaged back. “Better than nothing. Did you have something to do with the fact that Ryona intercepted our fight so I wouldn't get hurt?”  
“maybe kinda... i was worried about u...”  
I sighed, feeling my face get hot all over again. Involuntarily, I wondered if Murasaki was ever a little sadistic at all. Like, she seemed to really like me, so would she... never mind. I wasn't even going to think it. I didn't have time for that crap. And I didn't want to go around ruining my friendships like that either.  
“I'm sorry I made you worry,” I messaged back. “Don't worry too much, though. I'm used to this crap. I've done it about twenty times apparently, and I think I only ever died from it once. Twice if you count divergent timelines.”  
“divergent timelines???”  
“It's safer not to ask.” I didn't have the mental energy to even try to explain.


	10. Pancakes in a Mouse Trap

Well, given that the whole mission to spy on Hebijo went to crap, it was time to move to the next phase of the plan of grasping around in the dark like a bunch of complete idiots. Which was...? I still wasn't sure. I just knew I felt uncomfortable asking everyone else to help me out all the time. This felt like something I should be doing on my own. The fact that Yomi and Haruka were risking their lives to do something that ended up not meaning anything at all... it still didn't sit right with me.  
“They agreed to it of their own volition, though. If it really wasn't worth it to them, they would have said no. So you don't need to feel bad.”  
Thanks, Zelda, but I feel bad anyway, so there. Like, were they really doing that just because they were interested in me? That seemed like too small of a reason to do something so big.  
“I think so. Besides, you don't exactly have room to talk. You have a long history of doing anything you're asked to do, for anyone who asks, regardless of the risk involved or whether or not there even is a meaningful reward.”  
I do? ...I mean, I guess I kinda do. I mean, the time Murasaki texted me in the middle of the night saying she needed help, I did just rush right out there determined to help her, walked right into a trap, and still was determined not to back down.  
“Sometimes I marvel at your altruism, but sometimes I wonder if you get some kind of high from doing stupid things.”  
Hmph. I do not.  
“Yes, you do. Sometimes it seems like, the stupider the thing is, the more you like it.” There was a pause, a moment of blissful silence in my head. And then? “You know, like the way you feel when you get physically and verbally abused by Haruka.”  
Shut up. I mean, please, shut up. That was one time she called me a bad girl and I was just a little bit turned on. I wasn't even sure if I liked Haruka like that. She seemed a little bit overbearing and not the kind of person I'd really like to be with. And maybe I was a bit too traditional, but I felt like I should at least be in a relationship with someone before doing that kind of stuff with them? In any case, I somehow didn't feel like I was as pissed off at Zelda for making fun of me as I should have been.  
“That's because we love each other like soul mates, even if only in a platonic sense. Well, sometimes in a platonic sense. There have definitely been times I've had romantic interest in you, but this time isn't one of them, I don't think. And that's probably a good thing. I can think of at least three girls off the top of my head who would probably slaughter me if I dated you.”  
Why did I feel myself blushing again? Still, it was whatever. We needed to be coming up with ideas on how to prevent little miss schoolgirl Ganondorf from getting all three pieces of the Triforce, rather than speculating on my love life. Ugh.  
“Yes, that is true. I was thinking I could have some of my classmates help out this time. Yumi had a good idea earlier, that perhaps we try to lure her out, like cheese in a mouse trap. Perhaps what we ought to do, is set up a sparring match between you and some of my classmates, and try to make it look like you're losing. Like you'd be an easy target, if she could swipe in at that moment and take your scroll. But of course you wouldn't be losing. It'd just be a trap for her.”  
That made sense.  
“Good, then. I'll tell Yumi we're using her idea. However, I'll try to avoid having her be one of your sparring partners. She's already got her own little budding thing for you, and we don't want to add another combatant to that already ongoing battle. Perhaps Minori and Murakumo would be able to be of some use?”  
I wasn't sure who they were yet, but okay. I was down with anything that might help us out.  
So that was how I ended up going out late at night again, heading to a park. It wasn't the same park I'd been around with the Hebijo girls, though, since these were Gessen girls, and they were in a nicer area. A wealthier, safer area. And, of course, Yumi wouldn't want them being seen in the same territory as Hebijo girls. So I had to go somewhere I was unfamiliar with. Luckily I had Zelda in my head giving me directions.  
When I got there, the two Gessen girls were already waiting for me. One of them had pigtails, and was already running around in circles. The other was wearing a weird ogre mask, and was sitting on a bench sketching in a sketchbook. I approached them with a wave. The ogre mask girl put her sketchbook away into a backpack. The pigtails girl stopped running abruptly, almost falling on her face in the process.  
“Hello,” the ogre mask girl said, her voice eerily chilly. “I'm assuming you're Linkle, the one that our classmate Zelda told us we are to battle. My name is Murakumo, and this is another one of my classmates, Minori.”  
“Ooh, you're the one we get to play with?” Minori was practically jumping up and down. No, she really was jumping up and down.  
“I would not call it playing.” Murakumo pulled out her weapon, a spear with a twisted sharp tip that looked like it could do all sorts of damage. Then she pulled out another weapon, a huge thing that looked like a giant meat cleaver. Which one was she going to use, or was she going to use both of them? I couldn't help but swallow hard as I drew my comparatively plain and normal sword and shield. They knew this was just us pretending to fight so we could set a trap, right? Right? “I will go first.”  
I nodded solemnly, before preparing to lead with a spin attack. I mean, it made sense to start off with something strong, right? She came at me, wielding both weapons at once. Good thing I was already spinning toward her, or I'd be screwed. Her giant meat cleaver clashed against my sword, hard enough that it halted my spin. I stumbled, and she used that moment to come at me with her spear. I deflected it with my shield, then swung my sword at her in a simpler, less showy way. It connected. And it cut her top open, right in the front.  
She wasn't even wearing a whole bra underneath. She had, like, bandages over her nipples, but that was it. And she was completely not flustered by ending up showing that much. Like, so not flustered that she didn't even flinch, and just came at me with her cleaver to cut my top open. I was sort of not flustered, like way less flustered than I would've been at the beginning of all this? But I was flustered enough to flinch. And then she came at me with the spear, slicing downward and cutting off my skirt. I was standing there in a bra and panties, pausing like an idiot for a second, before I started charging up another spin attack.  
I hit her in the stomach, knocking her backward. And that was when the really creepy thing happened.  
Her ogre mask flew off her face.  
She was cute underneath. Like, really cute underneath. Big green eyes and all that. But, as soon as her mask was off her face, her personality did a total 180. She went from eerily stoic to... well, she was in fetal position and crying.  
“I... I'm sorry... I fought too much, didn't I... and now I ruined your c-clothes... and now you have to see me like this, without my m-mask, and...”  
I went over to put a hand on her shoulder to let her know I wanted to help her calm down. It didn't work. She sobbed harder.  
“You don't even want to look at me, do you? I'm hideous without my mask, aren't I?”  
I shook my head no, then side eyed the mask. Why did it make her all creepy like that? Was it just like her own personal security blanket, or something more... sinister? I was getting a bit of a flashback at that moment, of crap I'd dealt with in past versions of myself. An eerie mask, that caused its wearer to go from a mischievous mild nuisance, to, uh, wanting to destroy the world? Because wearing it influenced his personality so much, that... what was this mask doing to Murakumo? I had half a mind to destroy it, so I took a few steps toward it and poked at it with my sword.   
“N-no! Please! Don't break my m-mask!” Murakumo jumped to her feet and dove forward to save her mask from the point of my sword. In the meantime, though, she was trying to cover her face with one hand, and her boobs with the other, like she was ashamed for me to see any part of her, even the non offensive parts. But when she grabbed the mask, she put it back on, and climbed to her feet calmly and coolly again.  
“Hmph. It seems you've found my weak point. But it seems you're not entirely too strong yourself either. I've managed to do quite a bit of damage to your uniform, and you weren't able to stop me. Perhaps it should be Minori's turn to fight you next. I don't want to slaughter you too badly.” And she strode back over to the bench, and pulled her sketchbook back out.  
I did not like that mask.  
But I didn't have much time to think about what to do about that, because Minori came charging at me next.  
“My turn, my turn!” She was clapping and giggling like a little girl. “Ooh, ooh. I wanna do my transformation. You should do your transformation too, so it'll fix your clothes.”  
That was... a good idea. I focused my energy into my scroll, and felt my battle outfit form around me. Meanwhile, she was focusing into her scroll, and ended up in the fluffiest pastel dress I'd ever seen. And her weapon? While Murakumo had two sharp objects that did a number on me already, Minori had... a bucket.  
A bucket.  
She smacked me with it a few times, but it didn't do much. I felt almost bad slashing at her with my sword, cutting up her cute fluffy pastel dress and leaving her hopping around in pain.  
“Ow, ow, ow! You're so not fun.” She kept smacking me with her bucket, to no avail. I was going to have to tone it down to fight her, maybe. Especially since, if our plan was going to work, it had to look like I was losing. I was starting to wonder if Zelda had really briefed them on the whole thing before we started doing this.  
But then she gained an edge on me I didn't expect. All of a sudden, she used her secret ninja art. Which was... pancakes. A giant pile of pancakes flew out of her bucket and landed on me, crushing me beneath their weight. And I thought my secret ninja art was a weird one.  
Which gave me an idea. I should use mine.  
I focused my energy into my scroll, and then... it happened, again. The chickens came from every direction, swarming the park, clucking like crazy. I tried to mentally will them to descend on Minori, but they had other plans. They descended upon the pancakes instead, eagerly devouring the huge mass of carbs that was pinning me to the ground. It was kind of relieving, though, because then I was able to get up.  
However, they didn't stop pecking at that spot just because they'd eaten all the pancakes. Instead, they were pecking at me. I was completely covered in them, and they were tearing my battle outfit to absolute shreds. Really? They were supposed to be my chickens. I dared not slash at them with my sword, knowing somehow that it'd just make them angrier, but I yelled out in frustration, causing them all to flee. Once again, I was standing in the middle of the park in my bra and panties.  
“You got squished,” Minori said, speaking in the blunt way small children do, which was weird because she was the same age as the rest of us.  
I nodded. I did indeed get squished.  
“Are we done playing?” she asked.  
I nodded. I was tired of getting my ass beat. I mean, I was sure I could take these girls out if it really came down to it, but they were supposed to be allies, so I held back. And holding back got my clothes ruined twice.  
You'd think that'd make our plan work. Ganondorf would somehow know I was getting my ass beat, feeling the power of my Triforce piece resonate with my weakened state, and would be tempted to swoop in and try to take it. But that didn't happen. Nothing happened. I just stood there, while Murakumo continued to work on her sketching, and Minori sighed.  
“Now I'm bored.”  
“Perhaps we should return home,” Murakumo said. “I'm sorry this plan did not turn out quite as we'd hoped.”  
I nodded yet again, forcing a grin to at least thank them for their time. And with that, they headed one way, while I headed another, still walking down the street in bra and panties, holding a sword. I sighed deeply. This hadn't worked, and... the thought of Murakumo's mask was still creeping me out. I wished I could have destroyed it, to protect her from it, but would she have understood? Probably not.  
Later that night, I messaged Murasaki, like it turned out I did a lot before I went to sleep. Which, I was starting to wonder if that meant something? But... ugh, whatever.  
“did ur plan work?” she messaged me.  
“No,” I messaged back. “I got my ass handed to me, but half of that was because I wasn't really trying. I'm not good at pretend fighting with allies. I'm good at fighting for real, but I guess it's either all or nothing.”  
“weren't u supposed to lose tho?”  
“Yeah, but... it didn't work like a trap like we were hoping it would.”  
“aw. i hope what u do next works better.”  
“Maybe next time you should help us? Like, you're classmates with Ganondorf. If you told her you found out I was going to be sparring with someone at a certain location at a certain time, she might be more likely to go there to go after me.”  
“not sure if it would work. i think she knows i like u.” Then another message popped up rapidly after that. “i mean she knows we're friends?” And another. “u know wat i mean rite?” And another. “i'm not being creepy rite?”  
“You're not being creepy. I like you a lot too.” Even though I wasn't sure how, exactly? “Well, think about it. Maybe she'll be dumb enough to fall for it? I'm not sure what we're going to do next, but I'll keep you updated. Going to bed now, though. Good night.”   
“good nite.”  
And I fell asleep curled up in a weird little ball with my face in my hands. Like, really. I wished I could ask for clarification on what she meant by liking me. Did she immediately backpedal on saying she “liked” me because she only thought of me as a friend, or was it because she really did think of me as more than a friend and felt embarrassed by it? Ugh. This stuff is so complicated.  
Training to be a shinobi. Protecting the sacred power of the Triforce. And dealing with cute girls. All of it. Complicated.


	11. Sticky Wet Goo

Finally, it happened. Finally, Ganondorf initiated something that could be considered an attack against me. An attempt to lure me in to the possibility of her getting my scroll. Or maybe it was just her testing out a newfound power, trying to see what she could do with it.  
That was the most foreboding possibility. And also the most likely. Great.  
It was a pleasant Friday afternoon, and Tris and I had just gotten home from school. I'd changed out of my school uniform already, and into a nice comfy tank top and shorts I intended to wear to go to sleep later. You know, after sitting outside in the nice weather for a bit, on the apartment's tiny little balcony, and chilling with a book or something. It took me entirely too long to pick out something to read—Zelda telling me I had undiagnosed ADHD started to explain a lot, actually—but I'd finally chosen something. I brought the book outside, along with some cookies and a soda, and got comfy on the crappy balcony chair. And of course then my phone went off.  
It was a message from Haruka.  
“Hi cutie, hate to bother you but there's kind of an emergency downtown, and I'm pretty sure it has something to do with that crazy redhead Hebijo girl you're all freaked out about? So I mean, not to be a bitch or anything, but you should probably get your cute spankable little booty down here. And bring a weapon.”  
Well, shit. That didn't sound good. I scrambled up from my seat, snack and book forgotten, as I made sure to grab my sword and my scroll, and crammed my feet back into my shoes again already. All the while, I frantically typed back to Haruka, deciding to focus on what was important... and ignore the whole “spankable” thing.  
“Be there in a second. How do I find you?”  
“It's at the playground.” And she sent me a street address.  
“How do I find that though?” I was already hurrying down the street, not having bothered to try to communicate with Tris that something was going on. She was probably busy having an extremely inappropriate video chat with Ryona or something...  
“GPS, silly. Hurry up, though. Homura and Hikage are with me, and so we're splitting up so that some of us can hold off the monsters and the others can bring the kids away from the playground to safety.”  
Well, shit. That sounded even worse than it did a second ago. I punched the address into my phone's GPS and hurried as fast as I could.  
I could tell I was getting close when I felt the energy from the barrier. And then I saw that one girl Asuka was really “friendly” with, Homura, trying to lead a bunch of small kids down the sidewalk and away from wherever the monsters were. But she was gruff and intimidating and armed with like six swords at one time, and so the kids were listening to her more out of abject terror than out of any realization she was helping them. I gave her, and all the kids, a cheerful wave, trying to be remotely reassuring. But she just shook her head at me.  
“Get in there and figure out what's going on. You're the one who knows about all the weird shit that Ganondorf girl does, so you'll know better than us.”  
I mean, I would probably be way better with kids than Homura was being, but she was right that I was the only one that'd really be able to tell what was going on. Me and Zelda, but she wasn't here, and I wasn’t sure Haruka had her number. Actually, I didn’t even have her number. I just had that weird shared destiny telepathic connection thing with her. And at that moment, I expected her to pick up on the fact that I was thinking about her and butt in with something.  
She didn’t, the one time I actually wanted her to. Go figure.  
I sighed and cut through the barrier with my sword, entering through it to find Haruka and the green haired Hikage girl fighting a huge bunch of different colored Chuchus. Chuchus? How did I know they were called Chuchus? I wasn't sure, but something inside me told me that was exactly what they were.  
“What are these stupid yoma?” Hikage asked, her voice perpetually deadpan, as she sliced through one of them with her knives, cutting it from a blob the size of a kid, to like ten blobs each the size of a tenth of a kid. “I've never heard of any like these before.”  
“These look like someone's first attempt at summoning a yoma, and maybe failing,” Haruka said, from on top of the playground structure, sitting up there casually pressing buttons on the remote that controlled her battle robot.  
If I were better at words, I would've told these two that these gelatinous glob monsters were called Chuchus. That the goo they leave behind after you kill them makes good medicine for healing all sorts of crap. And that these were a common enemy I'd fought before—in past lives—so it made sense this was the first “yoma” Ganondorf would try to summon against me.  
Wait a minute... didn't summoning yoma require the blood of shinobi? I thought I’d heard that somewhere.  
“I know, right?” came the perfectly timed voice in my head. Damn it, Zelda. Way to be late, which was supposed to be my job. “Where's he—she—whatever getting this blood from?”  
I don't know, I thought to her, but since you can actually talk to people, mind bringing up that concern for me at some point?  
“I'll do that.”  
Thanks.  
Yeah, she'd have to help me figure that out later, because right now it was time to clear the Chuchus out from this playground. Haruka was having an easier time of it, controlling her battle robot from all the way up on the playground tower, but Hikage was in the thick of it, getting slowed down by their stickiness as they clung to her. And then one of the ones she was trying to cut off herself was... a blue one. One that charged itself up with electricity as soon as she stabbed it with her knife. Her green hair stood straight up as she yelped, and between the goo all over her and the electrical zap, she was stuck still in place.  
I waited until the blue Chuchu had finished discharging its electricity before taking my sword and carefully slicing it off of Hikage. I sliced it to bits until it was unable to reform itself, and then it poofed away into nothing. Well, not nothing, because it left behind something.  
It left behind a glob of chu jelly... and a used tampon.  
I guessed that was what passed for blood enough that Ganondorf could summon yoma? Which was disgusting, but hey, at least now we knew she wasn't cutting up her classmates for their blood. Yet.  
And of course now that I killed one of the Chuchus, they all got pissed at me. They all detached themselves from Hikage—ripping away scraps of her clothes with their stickiness as they did so—and attached themselves to me, despite my flailing attempts at stabbing them away.  
“Damn it, time for new jeans,” she said, her voice still vacant of emotion, like it was barely even a concern for her. And she just kind of shuffled away toward the barrier, like this was all my problem now.  
Haruka kept having her battle robot attack the Chuchus, but the problem was, they were all stuck to me now. So it just kind of... decked me in the stomach, causing me to double over with a grunt. I glared up at her where she sat, but she just giggled.  
“I keep forgetting you're not that much of a masochist. I mean, you're definitely a submissive, I can tell that much, but apparently you're the boring kind of submissive who doesn't get off on pain.” Ugh. Now is not the time, Haruka. Although, if it were up to me, it would never be the time.  
So, yeah. I was completely covered in Chuchus, and couldn't even attack them with my sword, because, well, they were stuck to me, so I'd basically be attacking myself. If someone could help me get them off me, then I could kill them easy. I glared at Haruka, giving her a look that pleaded for her to help me out. Well, not so much pleaded, as demanded. Thankfully, she listened.  
“Here, let me try this. It might hurt, though. Try not to squeal too much if it does.”  
Her battle robot took its massive hand and grasped tightly onto a red Chuchu that was stuck to my chest. Then, with immense force, it yanked backward, tearing the Chuchu off me. I was tugged forward along with it at first, then yanked myself backward, stumbling and having to take a moment to regain my footing on the playground's wood chip surface. But, as soon as I did, I swung my sword at the Chuchu in a bunch of little rapid movements, slicing it into bits as it writhed in the battle robot's hand. Once again, it poofed away into a glob of jelly and a used tampon. See? Easy, once it wasn't attached to me.  
It wasn't until afterward that I noticed the front of my tank top had been torn away with it. The rest of my tank top was only still sticking to me because of all the other chu jelly all over.  
Haruka barely waited a second before punching in more commands for her battle robot to yank another Chuchu off of me. And she was right. It did hurt, and I did squeal. But she kept doing it, having the robot yank off huge fistful after huge fistful of Chuchus, tossing them away from me and leaving me with a lack of clothing and a stinging sensation. I swiped my sword at the loose Chuchus, cutting them down to size until they each poofed away the way they did when fully defeated.   
Finally, with Haruka's help, I'd managed to clear the Chuchus out of the playground. I plunked myself down at the bottom of a slide, to catch my breath and survey the aftermath of the battle. I was coated in sticky chu jelly. And, uh, the playground was covered in used tampons, strewn all over everywhere, given that they were what was left behind after each Chuchu's demise.   
It took Haruka a few moments to notice that part, probably because she was spending too much time ogling me in my state of undress. But when she did...  
“Is that how she was summoning yoma?”  
I shrugged and nodded, like, yeah, I guess so. Because, uh, what else would explain that?  
“It looks like it,” Hikage said, still deadpan, as she casually strode back over to the playground. “I was wondering where she'd get shinobi blood, without hurting herself or attacking her classmates. Looks like this was close enough.” She picked one up, without even flinching, considering what she was touching. Like, we didn't even know who it was who used the thing. I guessed she really didn't have much emotion about anything at all, did she? “I'll have to clean these up.”  
I nodded. After all, I didn't want to have to be the one who did it, even though I would if I had to. I was the one who stabbed all the Chuchus to death in the first place, so it was only fair.  
“In the meantime, I'll help clean Linkle up,” Haruka said, smirking a little too much. “I mean, she's covered in sticky, sticky goo. Someone has to help peel it off her, don't they?”  
I sighed. Here went nothing. I mean, I would rather just go home and peel it off myself in the bathroom or something, but Haruka had decided she'd “help,” and it wasn't like I could argue against it.  
As I sat there with Haruka helping me remove all the gelatinous goo, I couldn't help but think that nothing ever tried to humiliate me this way before. Why was it that as soon as I was female, it was suddenly fair game to make me fight in my undergarments—  
“Don't act all pure and prudish now all of a sudden,” came the voice in my head, causing me to flinch twice—once as the voice chided me, and another time as Haruka ripped another piece of gooey tank top remains off of me. “Your male form has definitely gone about fighting in his undergarments. But, see, the difference is the way society treats men and women. Teen boy runs around fighting in boxers, that's cute and funny and rated to be acceptable for everyone. Teen girl runs around fighting in bra and panties, that's lewd, and inherently sexualizing her, and she has to be ashamed of it and be squealing and desperately trying to cover herself.”  
I couldn't tell if I was cringing more at the attempt at social commentary, or at the fact that I was now sitting on a park bench in only frilly pajama short shorts, clasping my hands over my chest and feeling super grateful that no kids were around anymore. And that it was nightfall. It was harder for Haruka to see anything as she looked at me, her head tilted, tapping her chin.  
“Part of me wants to be nice and give you my lab coat to walk home in, so you at least have something to cover you,” she said. “But the other part of me doesn't want any of that goo to get on my nice lab coat, and also wants to watch you squirm in complete and utter humiliation.”  
I made grabby hands at the lab coat. Why should I have to be that humiliated? I killed all the Chuchus, thereby saving the poor innocent kids, and figured out exactly how everyone's favorite evil overlord was summoning these monsters anyway. Just because I ended up like this... no fair. I pulled my phone out of the sticky remains of my shorts, wiped it off right on myself, and started typing a message to Haruka immediately.  
“I'll make you a deal, you lend me lab coat, I give you all the chu jelly when I scrape it off me. I'll put it in bottles or something. I'll even sort it by color.”  
She glanced down at her phone, then back up at me.  
“Why would I want the... chu jelly?” she asked.  
“Healing properties,” I typed back.  
“Interesting.” And she yanked off her lab coat, to drape it around my shoulders. I tugged it shut over my boobs as much as I could get it to. “But make sure you give it back to me freshly washed.”  
I nodded, then got up off the slide and started making my way out of the playground, across the minefield of tampons that Hikage was still picking up. I gave the two of them a wave goodbye before punching my address into my phone again so I could follow the instructions to scurry home.  
When I got home, Tris was already asleep. That made it easier for me to sit myself down on the toilet lid and get the chu jelly off myself without being questioned. I pulled it off, glob by glob, sorting it into piles by color on the surface of the bathroom sink. When I'd gotten myself mostly cleaned off, I shuffled into the kitchen to get some empty bottles out of the pantry, and brought them into the bathroom to scoop each pile of jelly into them. Then, I attached little notes onto them, to give Haruka any information I could possibly remember about these jellies from my past lives.  
“Green chu jelly. Restores magic energy. Maybe would make it easier to use secret ninja art?”  
“Red chu jelly. Restores health. Heals wounds. Test to see if it fixes clothes damage?”  
“Blue chu jelly. Works like both red and green at once. Might have residual electrical properties because blue Chuchus have that?”  
Who knew what she'd figure out she could do with these things? It seemed like she was always carrying around tons of little glass vials of who knew what. Stuff that could poison, burn, paralyze, or even heal. I felt like she'd appreciate this, more possible ingredients for her weird concoctions. Maybe a little more than she deserved, considering her abuse of me. But, hey, if I could say so myself, I was always pretty altruistic, and wouldn't mind helping almost anyone, no matter what. So if this made her happy, well, that'd make me happy too.  
Now it was time to get the last residue off me by taking a freaking shower.


	12. Filler Beach Episode

I bet that, now that Ganondorf had figured out how to summon yoma, she was going to be doing it. All. The. Time. Relentlessly, until she got me and Zelda in a spot where we were weakened enough that she could swipe our scrolls. How were we supposed to stop her? No idea! But I wasn’t about to be wrong about her trying it.  
We’d been having a pleasant kinda heat wave recently, the kinds of days where it wasn’t yet summer, but people started to go to the beach already anyway. I had half a mind to go myself—wondering if I’d be able to convince Murasaki to leave her cold dark room to go with me—but something told me not to. Something like, “if you go out anywhere in a swimsuit, the universe will find a way to rip it off you and get you totally naked in front of everyone.” You know. That kind of gut feeling.  
The kind of thing Kat would like to see happen. So it wasn’t surprising what she said while we were on break between classes.  
“You know, with it being this hot out, I wanted to suggest we all go to the beach together after school. ‘Cause it’s good beach weather, but also ‘cause I’ve seen all my classmates in swimsuits except for Linkle and Tris. And that’s just not fair, y’know?” She smirked a little. But then, she shook her head. “Too bad they had to close it down yesterday after some weird stuff happened.”  
Weird stuff?! Why did this sound like it was going to be something that had to involve us? I elbowed Tris in the side, apparently almost causing her to choke on her rice ball. Oops. But she got the picture.  
“Weird stuff? What kinda weird stuff?” she finally asked on my behalf.  
“I dunno,” Kat said. “The water’s been dangerous or something. Like, it’s probably just currents, but people feel like it’s been dragging them around in ways it shouldn’t. So they closed it, to keep anyone from drowning.”  
To anyone else, this might sound normal. But to me? I got another one of those “ends up staring at the wall like an idiot while having a meaningful flashback to a past life” moments.  
A room containing a shining, placid pool of crystal clear water, but something felt wrong. A sharp shrill voice calling out to me, not a second too late. “Link, look out! That isn’t normal water!” And then, the tendrils. The grippy, grabby, slimy tendrils.  
I could see where this was going.  
But no matter how this had the potential to end up, we had to go. We had to stop it. We couldn’t just let the local beach water have the potential to drown anyone it wanted. Even if this was probably a trap designed specifically to lure us there.  
So I was forced to elbow Tris a few more times. Speak for me, dammit.   
“Okay, okay,” she said. “That means you guys absolutely have to go to the beach now. Because, I mean, like, now that the Ganondorf chick is summoning yoma, it's up to Linkle to go stop them. And whatever it is in the ocean that's dragging people around and trying to drown them has got to be one of her yoma. So, uh, you and Linkle gotta go see if you can fight this thing, and then maybe, just maybe, if you get the job done, then you can have some fun at the beach?”  
I nodded in agreement. Thankfully, so did Yagyuu.  
“Yeah, we definitely have to go investigate this,” she said. “The sooner, the better. After school today is probably the best.”  
“Can I come too?” Hibari asked, perking up. “I never get to do anything fun, and I want to do this.”  
“Of course, you can come with us,” Yagyuu said. “I'll just have to make sure to protect you from whatever this water yoma is.”  
Hibari puffed out her cheeks petulantly. “I don't need protecting. I'm not a baby. I can fight too!”  
I nodded. Anyone who wanted to help would be appreciated.  
“I'm coming too then,” Kat said. “And you know what? I think, since this is at the beach, we should all wear swimsuits. Won't that make it more fun?”  
Yeah, fun for you, I thought. Significantly less fun for the rest of us. But still, this was important. If I had to fight a monster, I'd do it in any state of dress—or undress—that I had to.  
“I'll make it easier for you,” came a soft voice in my head. Zelda, of course. “I know I spend a lot of time on the sidelines. Probably too much. So this time, I'll come fight with you. You'll probably still end up in a horribly awkward embarrassing situation, but this time, you won't be the only one. I'll be there with you.”  
I didn't know if that made it better or worse. Like, if I was going to end up undressed, which was probably going to happen... well, given that she was basically my soulmate, how many times had she seen me undressed in past timelines? Ugh.  
And so, later that day, there we were. At the beach, in swimsuits. We had to climb past all the caution tape that was meant to keep us out, but we were shinobi, so it wasn't like it was hard. We'd just have to make sure to put up a shinobi barrier, so we'd remain undetected. It'd suck if, like, the police or something followed us in to tell us the beach was off limits due to the risk of drowning. Like, yeah, we know, we're here to fix it. And it's kind of my fault in the first place. But they wouldn't get that. So we just blocked them out with the barrier.  
It was weirdly interesting seeing what kind of swimsuit everyone showed up in. Like, what it says about someone's personality, I guess. Hibari had a frilly bikini with pink polka dots, which was exactly what you'd expect from her, wouldn't it be? And Kat was kind of tomboyish, so it'd make sense that her bikini would be casual with blue stripes, in spite of the fact that, in typical Kat fashion, it was a string bikini that hardly covered anything. Zelda's was a soft blue with a shimmering golden trim on it, with the top being strapless and tying shut in the front. Even though hers also showed quite a bit, she still managed to look like the image of grace and poise in it, which wasn't surprising.  
Yagyuu's swimsuit choice was unexpected, though. What with her eye patch and her attitude, I expected her to have something dark and edgy. But hers was almost as frilly as Hibari's, and in bright pink plaid. She and Hibari always seemed pretty close. Maybe they shared more of the same kinds of inner feelings than it seemed like they did. I mean, if swimsuits were, like, a view to the soul or something.  
I guess mine made sense too then. It was pretty similar to Kat's, honestly. Simple and plain and kinda tomboyish, tied shut with basic strings. And, coincidentally, it was also striped. Except, hers was the beachy blue color, and mine was more of a foresty green. And, well. She took one look at me and a smirk spread across her face.  
“Geez, Linkle. Copying my style much? I feel like one of us is gonna have to change. Or...” Her smirk got even wider. “You could just take yours off.”  
I frowned and tilted my head toward the water in a sharp gesture, like, I have a feeling there's something else here that's about to do that for you instead. And, with that in mind, I figured it was best if I got to work on that right away. I headed directly toward the water. Yagyuu followed close behind. Hibari made as if to follow, too, but Yagyuu shook her head no, leaving her staying behind with a pout.  
“I mean, you can help fight it, but only as soon as we know what we're up against,” Yagyuu said. “I'm not having you be the test subject to see how bad of a situation this is.”  
“Okay, fine.” Hibari sighed though.  
And immediately Yagyuu made herself the test subject, sticking one foot into the water cautiously. She flinched at first, but it was a normal flinch, like the kind that happens because the water's too cold and you need to get used to its temperature first. She held her foot in there for awhile, then started to ease the rest of herself in, bit by bit. And nothing happened. She poked at the water.  
“Seems normal to me.”  
So I decided to go next, and cautiously stuck one foot into the water myself. It was chilly, yeah, because even though we were having kind of a heat wave, it wasn't exactly summer yet. But other than that it felt like normal water wait no it didn't it felt gelatinous and goopy and it was kind of solidifying and twisting around and grabbing my ankle and yanking upward and HOLY SHIT I was upside down in midair.  
I was suddenly at the mercy of the massive tentacle that had hauled me off the beach, the one that was now dangling me precariously high above the ocean below. I flung myself at it, trying to grab onto it, so I wasn't just hanging like this, but it was so slippery. And sticky. Slippery and sticky at the same time. Like, my skin just kept slipping off it, but my swimsuit adhered to it like glue. Still, I kept trying to grab a hold onto it. It began flailing back and forth then, trying to shake me off, making me feel like I was on a wildly bucking horse—how exactly did I know what it felt like to be on a horse must've been one of those past life things—but instead of a horse it was a sea tentacle. I pressed myself against it, refusing to be thrown.  
The only problem was that, uh, now it had formed other gooey, grippy tendrils besides just the one. And those tendrils were going for everyone else. One of them was holding Kat upside down the way it'd just held me. Another was gripping both Yagyuu and Hibari, holding them together, which, uh, was giving Yagyuu a nosebleed. And Zelda? There were like four or five of them wrapped around her, like she was the most important prize this thing could grab. Now we knew what we were facing, but it wasn't just me who was in danger.  
I focused my mental energy into my scroll, using its power to materialize my sword and shield. But my hands were already covered with the slimy goo. My grip on the sword was so tight to keep from dropping it, that my knuckles were turning white. And it still felt like it was going to slip out of my hand. The tentacle that had me in its grasp was still shaking me, but I plunged the sword into it, both to hold me in place and to try to hurt the monster. Unfortunately, the monster didn't even seem the least bit perturbed by my stabbing it. Damn it. I started slashing away at it, but it didn't seem to have any effect then either.  
Well, except for the fact that I cut the tentacle in half.  
Except, uh, I cut the part that was holding me away from the part that was lifting me up. And so, I, uh, plummeted toward the ocean, landing with a frigid splash.  
And because the texture of the monster had been sticky and stuck to my bikini? The bikini was still stuck to the monster. But I wasn't stuck to the monster anymore. Which meant, uh, I was naked.  
Shit.  
As soon as I swam up to the surface of the ocean, I clamored to cover myself, clasping my arm over my chest. It was hard to cover up my boobs, given the size of them, but I felt like I had to. I mean, the sensation of the cold water was making my nipples get all hard, and that was... super awkward. Ugh. Battle situations always made me hate having so much chest. At least the shield helped, uh, shield them...  
But then I heard the screams, and realized that was really unimportant. Yeah, I might've broken free, but the four of them were still being squeezed and shaken by that... thing. And so, yeah, if I went to fight the thing, a bunch of my friends would see me completely naked, nipples and everything else. But if I didn't go to fight the thing, and just stood here covering myself as best as I could... then a bunch of my friends could be strangled to death by tentacles.  
The choice was obvious. Was I really going to give a crap if I had to fight totally naked? No, I wasn't. And if I could say that about myself, I think that's pretty badass.  
I swam to the shore as fast as I could, even though I was encumbered by my sword and shield and huge boobs. But I got there, and clambered up onto the sand. As I got out of the water, I noticed how much of the goop was still stuck to me. I shuddered at that—the goop, the nudity, the everything—but I beckoned the monster toward me anyway.  
Like, come on, bitch. I don't care what people end up seeing. I'll fuck you up.  
But how?  
I'd fought this thing before. If only I could remember what I did then. I felt like, when I defeated it, it was by exploiting an obvious weak point. That there was a specific part of this whole tentacle-tastic monster that was controlling all the watery gooey tendrils. And taking down that entity would make the whole thing stop its rampage. But I had to have a specific tool to do it, didn't I? Something that'd grab the central entity and pull it out of the water and toward me, so I could kill it.  
Well, that'd come later. First, I was going to save my friends.  
I charged at the watery beast, running to build up momentum, then jumping at the central part of it that all the tentacles were stemming from. I pressed my body up against it, holding as tight as I could, to shimmy up its slimy tendrils toward the nearest person, so I could cut them free. That happened to be Kat. She was squirming in place, and kicking at the monster—kicking was always her mode of battle—but it wasn't doing much. She had no shoes on, and was basically kicking water, just creating piddly little splashes that didn't do anything at all.  
“Unhand me, ugh, you stupid, ugh, tentacle monster! Ugh! Stop groping my friends! It's, ugh, my job to grope, ugh, my friends!”  
I made eye contact with her in an attempt to warn her what was about to happen. But of course, she had the worst one track mind of anyone I knew, and as soon as she looked up at me...  
“Fuck yeah, you have some really nice tits!”   
I ignored her, and used my sword to lop off the part of the creature that was holding her, causing her to plummet toward the ocean just like I had. But that didn't stop her from shouting up at me again the whole way she fell downward.  
“Like, daaaaamn, girl!” And splash.  
I shimmied myself back toward the central body again, to go for the next tendril, and my friends that it held. Hibari and Yagyuu. Hibari had used her scroll to gain her shinobi powers, and was attempting to fight the creature with her typical weapon of choice... her butt. She had managed to squirm out of the creature's grasp, and was now on top of the tentacle, slamming her butt into it repeatedly as she bounced off its gelatinous surface. Once again, it wasn't doing much. But it didn't dim her enthusiasm in the least.  
“Hup! I'm gonna beat you, stupid slimy thing! I'm gonna do it! I'll save Yagyuu!”  
Yagyuu, on the other hand, still had a pretty bad nosebleed, and looked pretty out of it. Like she hit her head or something?  
I gave the both of them the same look I'd given Kat, before once again lopping off the tentacle that was holding Yagyuu. Once again, the two of them plummeted toward the sea. I watched them fall, keeping an eye on them to make sure they'd landed safely. They seemed all right, since Hibari swam back to shore, dragging Yagyuu along with her.  
“Yagyuu, are you okay? You seem weird. Do you need me to get you some Mr. Bunny candy to make you feel better?”  
“I'm... I'm okay...” Her nosebleed seemed to have stopped, at least.  
Well, then. Last, but certainly not least, Zelda. I had slipped downward toward the base of the monster, and was now crawling up it, to the central point that led to all four of the tendrils that were gripping her, holding her immobile. Unfortunately, now that I was threatening the beast's most precious catch, it started to wise up to what I was doing. It started forming more tendrils again, and wrapped them around me as I tried to climb. One around one of my legs, one around the other leg. One of them between my legs, leaving a sticky goo in... places that were going to suck to wash sticky goo out of. Ugh, ugh, ugh.  
The monster dragged me inward, closer and closer to Zelda, until she and I were both totally trapped, entwined in the same tendrils of goo. It pulled me against her, causing my still completely naked body to grind up against her, like this was the monster's idea of a sick joke. Like, if this wasn't this situation, it'd probably feel good to grind up against someone like this, but... uh, I didn't just think that. I'm not a pervert like Kat or Ryona or Haruka or... well.  
That didn't change that we were kind of screwed.  
I stared down toward the beach at my friends down there as they were recovering from their part in the whole ordeal. It'd be up to them to save me now. Which made me feel kind of, I don't know, stupid and useless. I was supposed to be the hero. They shouldn't have to do these things on my behalf.  
But they were. Yagyuu and Hibari had both focused their powers into their scrolls now. And while Hibari was still trying to fight the monster by hitting it with her butt and not doing very much, Yagyuu had gathered up all her energy and was using her secret ninja art. Which came in the form of a squid.  
Soon there were even more tentacles coming for Zelda and me, except this time they were the tentacles of justice. They fought against the gooey water monster, trying to pull us out of it. I reached forward to grab at the good tentacles, but it was still so hard to reach. There had to be a way to do this. Come on, think. How'd I kill this thing before?  
“It's an amoeba,” Zelda said, shouting in a way that I couldn't tell if she was reprimanding me or calling out to Yagyuu. I looked at her in confusion. “Amoebas have a nucleus. If you can grab and kill the nucleus, you can take down the whole thing!”  
Oh. Well, I felt kind of dumb now. But she was right. I waved Yagyuu's squid tentacle away from me, trying to tell her to forget about me and even Zelda, and go for the nucleus. Thankfully, she seemed to get the message. Her squid tentacles receded, and dove downward into the water itself now, looking for the monster's nucleus.  
In the meantime, I decided to see if I could swim inward into the monster myself. I pressed my sword forward into the goo as hard as I could, burrowing into its gelatinous flesh, trying to swim downward toward the base of the creature so I could help Yagyuu. And, before long, it worked. I saw it, deep underwater: a squishy looking red orb. Yagyuu's squid power had found it, too, and was using its tentacles of justice to hold the orb in place.   
So I could stab it.  
And I did.  
With a vicious shout, I plunged my sword into the nucleus, and the whole thing came crashing down.  
“Oof!” Hibari hit the water butt first, now that she didn't have anything else to bounce off of. “Yagyuu, you okay?”  
“Yeah, I'm fine.” She finally was able to stop focusing her power, and let the squid dissipate. “How's Zelda?”  
Zelda and I surfaced at about the same time. We stood next to each other, both gasping for breath after the whole incident. Now everyone was safe.  
Yeah, everyone was safe, and I was remembering that I ought to be embarrassed over being naked again now.  
“That was fun to watch,” Kat said, grinning broadly.  
“You poor thing.” Zelda shook her head at me. “Let's get you covered up.” And she darted over to the nearest beach umbrella, to rip some of the fabric right off it.  
“Way to deface someone's property,” Yagyuu said, shaking her head.  
“I think, after fighting naked, she deserves this.” And Zelda handed me the piece of umbrella fabric to wrap around myself. I did that eagerly, nodding at her in thanks. I was glad that it was so late the sun was starting to set. Ugh.   
“Yeah, I guess,” Yagyuu said, shrugging. “That is pretty badass, not caring what condition we see her in as long as she gets to save us.”  
“And what a great condition it is to see,” Kat said, causing Zelda to shoot her a glare.  
Beneath the umbrella fabric, I crossed my hands over my chest, trying to warm up my boobs so the chilling sensation of the evening air stopped screwing around with my body. I held my shield out in front of me, and my sword at my side. And, with the others, I slipped back out from the beach property, through the caution tape that had it blocked off.  
“Looks like the water's safe again,” Hibari said. “I hope they notice, so they can re-open the beach.” She paused, tapping her chin. “Maybe, then, we can go again tomorrow, and actually have fun this time!”  
“I had fun this time,” Kat said. Always the pervert.  
Of course, I shook my head no. This whole incident had made it so I'd have had enough of the beach for quite awhile. Maybe the whole summer.


	13. Excuse Me, Princess

On my way home from school one day, I got a text from someone I hadn't heard from in awhile. It was that Shiki girl, the one Tris and I had met in the cafe on our very first day here. The one who was a classmate and also apparently a friend of Zelda. It was weird to me that she actually contacted me. She did act friendly toward me when we'd first met, but until now, I assumed she was only saying she'd hang out with me just to be nice. I didn't think she actually wanted to. But this text told me differently.  
“Heyyyyy Linkie, Zel-belle and I are totally going to go to the mall today soon, wanted to know if you and Tris like... wanted to come???”  
Yeah, apparently she typed the same way she spoke. And I guessed she had a habit of giving people weird nicknames too. Still, in spite of her being... how she was, it was nice to know she actually wanted to hang out with me, and I figured I might as well go. However, I wasn't sure if Tris would want to. She probably had plans to be, uh, busy, with Ryona, as was usual at this point. When we got home, though, I showed her the text anyway.  
“You can go if you want,” she said. “I have to catch up on homework I've been putting off.”  
I gave her a look.  
“Okay, yeah, and I wanted to video chat with Ryona,” she admitted.  
I gave her another look.  
“Stop judging me,” she said.  
I shrugged and went to change into regular, non-school uniform clothes, so I could meet Shiki and Zelda at the local mall right after.  
“I'm on my way,” I texted back. “It's just me because Tris is... busy.” I figured it would be a bad idea to tell Shiki that Tris was fraternizing with a Hebijo student, so I left that part out. “Where should we meet up? I'll try my best to find you but I'm so bad at directions...”   
At least I'd mastered the use of my phone's GPS to get me to the mall itself. But then, I knew, I was sure to get all lost inside it. Even though I snapped a picture of the map of the building, I was crap at reading maps anyway, so I wasn't sure how much it'd help.   
“We're by the fountain on the first floor, the one that's right below the food court,” Zelda said to me, right in my head as usual. I wondered if Shiki knew she could do that...  
I'd come into the mall using the first door I came across when I got there. There was a kiosk right by the door, with the map I took the picture of, but I was having trouble using it. Apparently I'd come in at one of the far ends of the mall, and the fountain was in the center. But there was no little “you are here” icon anywhere on the map, like... they expected people to be able to figure that out themselves? But I was crap at maps. So I wasn't sure if I was on the first floor or the second, or which end of the mall I was at. Oh, well. I guessed I'd just walk straight ahead until I found the middle, and figure it out from there.  
I tried to make mental notes of the stores I passed on the way there. There was a cute accessory shop I kind of wanted to go into, to get maybe earrings or something. And there was a bookstore I also wanted to check. There were a bunch of casual fashion stores, but the problem with trying to use those as landmarks was that they all blended together in my head. Maybe it'd be easier to use the more traditional clothes stores, the ones with yukatas and stuff, as mental landmarks. Or an accessory store that only sold socks? But I wouldn't be able to remember where they were...  
Finally I felt like I was getting closer to the food court, because I started passing a bunch of bakeries. They had some really cute stuff in them, stuff I wasn't used to seeing back where Tris and I came from. Like bread buns that were made to look like turtles, and ones made to look like pandas. Tons of flavors of donuts, and brightly colored macarons, some made to look like licensed cartoon characters and stuff. And of course there was a lot of mochi, from the basic ones to the expensive fancy ones you'd put in a gift box or something. And I wanted to eat, like, all of it.  
Once I managed to pull myself away from staring longingly at the sweets, I figured out I was right about where I was. The next thing I got to was the food court. And I smelled it before I saw it, which made me even hungrier. But then I saw it, and got even more hungry than that. There were so many options, between super traditional stuff and the western kind of stuff I was used to. I wondered if Shiki and Zelda had already eaten, because it was kind of dinner time, and—  
Then something snapped me out of my food minded revelry. I noticed a girl hanging around the food court who looked familiar to me for some reason. A very tomboyish girl with short hair that could almost be mistaken for a boy if she didn't have such a massive chest. She was followed by another girl with glasses that also looked familiar. Where did I know her from, and why was I having a bad feeling about this?  
Crap. I knew why. Because that was the Miyabi girl from Hebijo that I'd spied on before, and that girl with glasses was her friend. I guessed Shiki and Zelda and I weren't the only shinobi students that thought it would be a good idea to hang out at the mall today. I guessed we'd just have to be careful to avoid those two? But then it got worse. They made their way over to a table with their food, and there was someone else already sitting at that table.  
Ganondorf, dressed in casual clothes for once, and looking like she wanted to slaughter Miyabi for making her come here. She was impaling her food with her eating utensil like she was imagining the food was Miyabi's skull or something. Maybe someone else's skull. Maybe mine. It was weird, seeing her in a hoodie and a crop top. Even though the type of crop top she was wearing looked weirdly familiar, like something you'd expect a typical Gerudo to wear? Wait. What exactly was a Gerudo? I could remember the name, but all the other details seemed fuzzy.  
Then it got even worse. Because of who came to sit at that table next.  
Murasaki, clutching Bebe-tan in her off hand. Even though it was warm, she was wearing a turtleneck sweater, like she didn't want the sunlight to even touch her paper white shut-in skin. But turtleneck sweaters have that weird way of making big boobs look even bigger than they already are, so I got, uh, distracted for a split second. Until I noticed she looked like she was about to cry. I knew that was kind of her default state, based on the first time I'd ended up somewhere with her. I felt bad for her, having to be here hanging out with... them. And I had half a mind to send her a text or something that'd make her smile. But that struck me as a bad idea. Anything that would let Ganondorf know I was here, never mind something that would let her know I had a positive relationship with Murasaki? Bad idea.  
So I scurried down the nearest flight of stairs to get to the fountain below, where Shiki and Zelda were waiting. And, since Zelda could read my mind, they were already conversing in hushed tones about what I'd just seen.  
“We can't let them ruin our good time,” Shiki said, sounding a bit huffy. “Like, we came here to have fun, right? So, like, we're just gonna ignore them. We're not gonna go around, like, trying to stalk them and get intel on them and stuff. Right?”  
Zelda sighed, but nodded. “Yes. We're going to take the high road.” She looked up at me. “Oh, there you are. I was afraid you might've already gotten into an... altercation.”  
I reassured her in my head that it was also my intent to avoid altercations. Even though, I kind of thought we should have a plan in advance in case we did get noticed. But she didn't react to that. Great.  
“Where do we want to go first?” she asked. “It seems like Linkle wants to eat, but given... who else is at the food court right now... maybe we want to do that later?”  
I still wanted to eat now, dammit. Maybe, if we were really careful, we could just go up there and stay really far away from them, and they wouldn't notice us? I didn't want to let their presence dictate where we could and couldn't go. But then again, there was a fine line between being bold and just being stupid...  
I decided to be bold and stupid anyway, and pulled out my phone to text Murasaki.  
“Hey, I noticed you were hanging out at the mall with Ganondorf and everyone. I'm there too, with some other people. It looks like I picked the wrong day to come here, because obviously it'd be trouble if you guys ran into us... if you see me, try really hard to pretend you don't, okay?”  
She responded in a moment. “yeah i saw u. i was careful to be quiet.”  
“Are you guys still in the food court? How'd you even get roped into this?” I asked her.  
“were almost done. give it like ten mins and u can come up here. and why im here is bc, my sister made me. she thought it would be good if i came out of my room. ew.”  
“Your sister?” I typed and sent it super fast, then followed it up with another message. “I mean, I know you have a sister and she goes to school with you, but I didn't know who she is.”  
“shes the one with glasses. her name is imu. tbh im trying to make sure she doesnt find out about me talking to u. she mite be... a lil... overprotective. rite now shes not gonna notice bc shes too busy with her obvious crush on miyabi but. we gotta be careful. oh btw u can come to get food now, we are in a store.”  
Ah, so glasses girl was Imu, the sister I'd heard about before. And she was another potential threat. Great. Still, it was good to know we could at least go up and get food now.  
“Don't worry, I'll buy yours,” Zelda said to me, even before we got upstairs. I almost argued, but thought better of it. After all, it seemed like she had a lot more money than Tris and I did, what with the rich dad and everything. And so I was able to eat my fill without worrying what it'd cost this time. Still, maybe I was a little too gluttonous sometimes...  
“Did you just, like, eat that whole bread roll in one bite?” Shiki asked, her mouth wide open in shock.  
“That's how it is all the time,” Zelda said, exhaling sharply in amusement.  
Once we'd eaten, we decided to start from one end of the mall and work our way toward the other. So we started from the big department store. This mostly consisted of us going to the makeup and accessory department, with Zelda and me standing around as Shiki gushed over everything and tried on everything she could possibly try on. We probably looked bored and weird, just being there and not really saying anything to anyone. But we were conversing. Just in our heads.  
“Is she always like this?” I asked, without saying anything.  
“Yes, of course,” Zelda responded, equally silently. “If she gets to be shocked at how you can be such a big eater, we get to be shocked about how materialistic and fashion-conscious she can be...”  
“At least she seems like a really nice person,” I thought. “The day my sister and I first moved here, she started trying to befriend us in a cafe right away. At first it was suspicious, but now it seems like she's just genuinely friendly.”  
“Yes, she is like that.” Zelda shuffled back and forth from one foot to the other, continuing to communicate with me telepathically. “Ugh, I have to go to the bathroom. I was going to wait until Shiki was done in here, but it doesn't seem like that's going to happen soon. You'll be okay on your own for a few minutes, right?”  
I nodded. Of course I'd be okay on my own for a few minutes. I may have been bad at directions and at communicating, I thought to her, but I wasn't totally helpless.  
Turns out I was wrong about me being okay on my own. Because, while I was standing there zoning out by myself, Imu and Murasaki showed up, and were making their way into the makeup area too.  
I tried to leave, silently, hoping they wouldn't notice me. But it didn't work. Imu had come up to me before I could get away. Murasaki followed her, silently clutching at Bebe-tan, looking even more like she was about to cry now than she usually did. Crap.  
“Hey, you look familiar,” Imu said to me. “What school do you go to?”  
“Ehhhhh...” That was all I could get out in terms of words at the moment.  
“What's your deal? I'm just trying to make conversation.” Sure. Like I believed that.  
“Aaaaahhh.”  
“Can you not talk, or something?” she asked.  
I almost nodded in confirmation, but then didn't. I didn't want to give her any information that could help identify me. Even though I was pretty sure she already knew who I was, and was trying to trick me into admitting it. The only thing I could do was play dumb, right?  
“Yeah, I thought not.” Imu crossed her arms beneath her ample chest. “I know there's a student at Hanzo who can't talk. And she's got some kind of weird beef with Hebijo, and is trying to cause trouble for us. But then, she texts my little sister, like they're all buddy buddy or something.” She scowled at me. Crap, she did know who I was, like I thought she did. And she was overprotective, like Murasaki thought she would be.  
“I-I'm sorry,” Murasaki said, in the tiniest voice I could still hear. Yeah, she was crying. “I didn't think she'd c-catch me messaging you...”  
I scowled and pulled out my phone, to type a message into it and hold it up at Imu.  
“Let me clear things up. I consider Murasaki to be a good friend, and I'd gladly befriend you too if you wanted. I don't have any beef with Hebijo. I just have beef with Ganondorf. You don't have to get involved in that, and it's probably safer for all of us if you don't. Now back off, because I really, really don't want to have to hurt you.”  
Murasaki was glancing back and forth between me and Imu, still clutching Bebe-tan, still crying. “L-Linkle... sis... please don't fight...”  
At that point, Zelda had come back from her bathroom trip. She strode over to all of us, as calm as ever.  
“Is there a problem here?” she asked.  
“Never mind.” Imu sighed. “Come on, sis. I don't feel like dealing with this crap today.” And she shoved past me, as she left. Murasaki followed, still looking miserable. I let them go. And that was that, I thought.  
Until we left the department store to go back into the rest of the mall.  
The second I stepped through the security things on either side of the entrance and exit, they started beeping. Like I stole something. The security lady came rushing over. I had half a mind to just book it, but that would make me even more suspicious. So I stopped. I let my hand rest on my hip for a second, and that was when I realized what happened. There was something in my pocket, something I hadn't put there. I pulled it out. It was a really, really expensive lipstick. Like, who paid that much for a lipstick? I didn't even wear lipstick.  
Imu must have slipped it in there while she was starting crap with me.  
I flung the lipstick at the security lady, like... here, take it, I don't even want this thing. And then I booked it. But I wasn't looking where I was going when I did. Because I ran back into the department store, instead of out of it. And I kept going without looking, into the housewares area, until I collided with a shelf. Down came a bunch of ceramic plates, cups, and bowls, clattering to the floor as they smashed into shards. I yelled and turned back to run the other way, before they could catch me and make me pay for everything I broke. As I fled the scene, I sent Zelda one last telepathic message for the day.  
“I don't want you guys to get in trouble on my behalf, so don't follow me or anything. Pretend like you don't even know me, okay?”  
“Got it.”  
I'd escaped out into the parking lot, and was hiding in a trash can until I felt like the whole thing had blown over enough, when someone lifted the lid off the can. It was Zelda, with Shiki in tow. Shiki's jaw dropped.  
“How'd you, like, know she was in here?” she asked.  
“Intuition,” Zelda said, shrugging. “Let's just say I know her... very well.”  
“Like, how? I thought you two totally didn't know each other before I introduced you.”  
“It's a long story.” Zelda shook her head. “In fact, I'm not surprised about all the ceramics that got smashed today. Honestly, I'm even more surprised it happened by accident. I'm more used to her smashing things on purpose. I suppose it was only a matter of time...”  
I crossed my arms in a huff. Even I knew that smashing things on purpose was a bad idea as a shinobi. I was trying to be inconspicuous here.  
“I know, I know, you're trying.” She patted me on the shoulder. “Let's get out of here, before someone recognizes you from in there.”  
I huffed at her in my head. “I told you to pretend you didn't know me, so you wouldn't risk getting in trouble too.”  
“I was worried about you,” she said. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”  
“Well, I'm okay as I can be, after learning that one of my good friend's sister hates me.” I pouted a bit. “Other than that, I'm fine.”  
“You'll win her over eventually. You always do.”  
I sighed. “She's classmates with Ganondorf though.”  
“Well, maybe it'll be easier for us to be friends after we succeed in taking down Ganondorf.”  
I sighed again. It wasn't like we were making much progress on that front either. Especially now that Ganondorf figured out how to summon yoma. But it wasn't like we could go after her without any proof about what kind of trouble she was. What else were we supposed to do? Wait until her yoma summoning got out of hand, and then use that as a reason to attack her directly? I mean, if she got caught summoning yoma, then we'd at least have proof she is as much trouble as we think.  
If this carried on for much longer... ugh. I was definitely tempted to have us all just bust into Hebijo and do whatever we could to take her down.  
“There's a fine line between courage and stupidity,” Zelda said, shaking her head at me.  
Well, excuse me, princess. I was just thinking about trying to get the job done here.  
“Maybe you should try to win over Imu first. That could be helpful.”  
How was I supposed to do that?  
“Just be yourself. You always seem to win people over eventually.”  
Yeah, somehow... in spite of being an obnoxious, violent, yelling, destructive, combative, pot smashing tornado of chaos.  
“I don't think that's the reason Imu has a problem with you. I think it's more due to the fact that you're involved with her little sister.”  
Involved? What was that supposed to mean?  
“Isn't it obvious?”  
No?  
“You can tell that Murasaki's got a thing for you, right? I thought you liked her back, and were flirting with her on purpose.” Zelda shook her head, suppressing a laugh. “Is this another instance of you not noticing when a girl is crazy about you?”  
It wasn't like that! I swear it wasn't like that.  
“If that's what you want to believe.” And she stopped being able to hold the laughter in anymore. I grumbled to myself as I went to pick gum out of my hair from hiding in that trash can. Maybe I was in more trouble than I thought.  
Why do I have to be so bad at solving problems when I can't just stab them?


	14. Sleepover Shenanigans

Not super long after The Imu Incident, I got a text from Murasaki.  
“hey i was wondering. do u want to have a sleepover at my place one day. i have lots of video games and movies. and we can order pizza. it would be just u and me and bebe-tan...”  
My response was immediate and honest. “That sounds like it’d be a lot of fun, but it sounds kinda risky. Like, if anyone knew about it, including your sister, who lives with you?”  
“she doesnt have to know. u can sneak in thru like the window or something. and i order myself pizza all the time. so it wont be sus.”  
Part of me was like. Nope. Nope, nope, nope. Red flags everywhere, too many red flags. In the most likely scenario, I’d end up fighting Imu. And... what if Murasaki wasn’t even herself right now? What if she was being mind controlled, again, and... the one controlling her was trying to kill me, again? So, nope. Big nope.  
But then, like... what if me saying no made Murasaki sad? So...  
“You’re right. We can keep it a secret, and it’ll be fun. So yeah, when are you free?”  
“is friday ok?”  
“Sounds great.”  
So that was a thing that was happening.  
But when I went to leave on Friday, Tris stopped me at the door.  
“Where are you going with so much stuff in your backpack?” she asked.  
I crossed my arms at her and shrugged, like, did she really need to know about everything I did?  
“I’m your sister. You can at least tell me.”  
I pulled out my phone and typed it in. “You have to promise not to tell anyone.”  
Her eyes widened. “Okay, now I really have to know.”  
“Sneaking in through Murasaki’s window for a sleepover. We’re hoping not even her sister figures out I’ll be there. I mean, Murasaki is kind of a total shut in anyway, so it’s not like anyone would suspect anything if she orders pizza and locks herself in her room all night.”  
Her eyes got even wider. “Really? Are you crazy? Linkle, this could be a death trap! Don’t you even remember last time, when Ganondorf was mind controlling her—“  
I cut Tris off by shoving my phone in her face. “Yeah, I remember, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. I don’t want to upset Murasaki by turning her down, and if I have to fight, I’ll fight.”  
“There’s a fine line between courage and stupidity—“  
This time I cut her off with a loud “ugh” and a stomp of my foot. “You do whatever with Ryona all the time, and she’s a Hebijo student too.”  
“I don’t go to Ryona’s actual house,” Tris snapped. Then she sighed. “How about you just message Murasaki real quick for a change of plans, that you two can have your sleepover here instead? I’ll leave for the night, so you two can have your naughty little fun time and I won’t be around to interrupt.”  
“We are not going to do anything naughty,” I typed furiously, feeling my own face get hot.  
“That’s what you think.”  
At that point I’d had enough. I walked out of the apartment without heeding anything else Tris said, and headed to Murasaki’s. Even though I wasn't entirely sure what to expect when I got there...  
I found the house okay, using the GPS on my phone, but then wasn't sure where to go from there. First things first, I hid in the nearby bushes, then started messaging Murasaki.  
“Which window is yours?”  
“the back most one to the left. on the second floor. its open already.”  
“Got it. Be right in.” And I scurried from the bushes to the left side wall of the house, ducking down low beneath the first floor windows so no one could see me out them. When I got all the way to the back, I craned my neck upwards to see the second floor. There was indeed one open window right there. So I adjusted my backpack, making sure it was on nice and sturdy, and started scaling the wall. I still wasn't sure what'd happen when I got in. I mean, if this was for real, I was excited. But the possibility existed that she could be being mind controlled by Ganondorf right now, and I'd pop into the window to find her in her transformed state and ready to kill me.  
Thankfully she wasn't. She was just sitting on her bed in a comfy looking tank top and shorts, holding Bebe-tan in her lap. Her face lit up with a grin when she saw me.  
“You got here!” she whispered, as she set Bebe-tan sitting up against her pillow. And she ran over to hug me. It felt warm and nice. I gave her a smile and an enthusiastic nod as we both went down to sit on the bed next to her. In front of her she had a small stack of movies, and the menu to a nearby pizza place, with a sticky note stuck to it. “Let's order a pizza and watch a movie. Let me know what pizza you want, then pick a movie.”  
I nodded, then started perusing the pizza menu, before scrawling my ideas on the sticky note. “Classic pepperoni and then also one with something weird like mushroom onion pineapple??” Then I turned to look at the movies. Most of these choices were... really dark and gruesome. I guessed that was how Murasaki's mind worked most of the time, being the lonely traumatized person she was. I tried to pick out the least dark and depressing one, and set that aside. In the meantime, she was ordering the pizzas with her phone.  
“Bebe-tan thinks your weird pizza idea is interesting, and she's excited to try it,” she said. I grinned at her.  
It wasn't long before the pizzas arrived. Murasaki left the darkness of her bedroom to get them, and in the meantime, I hid under her bed just to be safe. I didn't want to be visible from the doorway if Imu happened to pass by when Murasaki opened the door.  
And the worst part was I could hear her out there in the hallway.  
“Two pizzas?” she asked, sounding shocked and possibly even a little bit suspicious.  
“I want to have leftovers,” Murasaki said, before darting back into her room and shutting the door. We were safe again, and so the pizza consuming and movie watching could commence.  
Not that we really watched the movie.  
I ate like I normally did, which was to say, way too fast, cramming way too much food in my mouth at once, and eating more than I probably even should. But I wasn't going to try to act all dainty to impress her. I wanted her to feel secure when she was with me, knowing she was free to be herself and not get judged. So I felt like I could be myself in front of her too. She did shake her head at me, but she giggled while she was doing it.  
“Wow. Where does it all go?”  
I shrugged.  
After that, we ended up just sitting next to each other, watching the movie but not really paying much attention to it. I was sitting cross legged next to Bebe-tan, and Murasaki was sitting in front of me, leaning backwards and using my boobs as a pillow. I held my phone in front of the both of us, so when she talked to me, I could type my response to her, and she could read it.  
“I was almost worried you were being mind controlled by Ganondorf again, and that you were gonna try to kill me,” I typed. “But I didn't want to upset you by saying no, so I figured I'd take the risk.”  
“Are you glad you came?” she asked, her voice hushed so Imu wouldn't hear her saying anything from the hallway.  
“Definitely.” I nodded emphatically as I typed it.  
“You know, I was really, really scared and upset the night that happened, so I'm really happy you were there to save me. I mean, you know I have that power I use involuntarily when I get really upset, and I was using it that night...” I remembered it. The deep purple dome of darkness that had surrounded her, and furiously burst...  
“You don't have to tell me about that if you don't want to,” I typed. “I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or pressured around me like ever.”  
“It's... no big deal,” she said, even though her voice was super small and it sounded like it was in fact a big deal. “It's the reason I got into Hebijo in the first place. They like that I can use it.” She fidgeted. “It's called the Root of Calamity. And apparently it runs in the family. It probably would have been better for everyone if Imu got it, but we can't be that lucky, I guess.”  
Root of Calamity... I didn't like the sound of that. Like, it brought back the weird past life memory crap. The word “calamity,” associated with dark purplish powerful energy... it made me shiver just thinking about it, and I couldn't put my finger on why.  
“Are you okay?” she asked me.  
“I'm fine,” I typed.  
“Are you cold? Should I sit closer to you?” Well, I wasn't exactly going to say no to that.  
And I guess that was how it started. How we started cuddling, I mean. We got really close together, and she put her arms around me, and I put mine around her. I kind of scooted into her lap, and she seemed to really like that. She gave me tighter and tighter squeezes, softly rubbing my shoulders, then moving her hands down a little bit lower to my chest. When I turned to look at her, she was bright red, but neither of us said anything. I just gave her a smile as she started massaging my boobs. And I took that as a go ahead to put my hands on hers, and feel them up with equal affection.  
I wasn't exactly proud of the fact that my hands had ended up under her tank top, but they had. And it felt really, really nice to squeeze her boobs. Like, for some inexplicable reason, almost all of us shinobi girls were well endowed, but hers were... they had to be the biggest out of anyone's. And they were the perfect level of softness. I massaged them gently, feeling her nipples harden beneath my palms. She let out a tiny gasp. So I immediately removed my hands.  
“No, keep going,” she said, her voice almost a whimper. “Wait. Hold on.” She took Bebe-tan and put her really close to the movie screen, so she would be absorbed in the movie and wouldn't be looking at us. Then she clambered back into the bed and got up all against me again. “Okay.”  
I put my hands back on her then, more than happy to oblige if it was what she wanted. As I rubbed them, I gradually lifted up her tank top, completely exposing her to me. And then, almost on instinct, I felt like I should put my mouth on them. I pushed her huge breasts together until her still hard nipples were touching each other, then I engulfed them with my mouth. I wasn't exactly sure how to go from there. Would it pleasure her more if I licked slowly or quickly? In long licks or a bunch of little ones? I wanted her to like this.   
I mean, I was liking it. There was something that made me all tingly feeling all over, just from the idea that I had her nipples in my mouth. I felt... dirty, but I liked it. Like I could almost understand how Ryona felt sometimes? But this had to be better than Ryona's weird constant perving, because this was more... intimate and caring. At least, I hoped it was. So I did my best to keep licking and sucking, trying to make Murasaki happy.  
“Mmmmh.” She finally made a noise that sounded somewhere between a whimper and a moan. “Mmmmmh.” I felt a weird swell of pride knowing I'd caused it.  
As she lay there, enjoying my hopefully successful attempts at pleasing her, she reached up toward my shirt and started tugging it upward, pulling it off me with a coy giggle.  
“If you get to see mine then I wanna see yours,” she said, her voice so soft it was almost less than half a whisper.  
I fidgeted, feeling myself blushing, knowing mine weren't quite as impressive as hers. But I hoped she was at least a little impressed. I mean, it wasn't like half my classmates hadn't already seen me topless before. But there's something different about being topless in a dim bedroom with a really cute girl, versus topless in front of everyone in the heat of battle while the giant slimy monster is still a threat to everyone's safety. When you're fighting almost naked for like the hundredth time, it's like, whatever. People are gonna see what they're gonna see, and I'm gonna cut a bitch. But this was... I was getting flustered.  
Still, she was liking it, so I kept going. I slid my fingers under the waistband of her pajama shorts and her panties, and started slowly sliding both of them down. As I did so, I moved my mouth down, off her breasts, leaving soft kisses down her stomach, lower and lower, until I was, well... like an inch from putting my mouth between her legs.  
And then everything went to shit.  
The door slid open, and there was Imu, in her own pajama tank top and shorts. Like, she didn't even knock. And, whatever she came in to say, she didn't bother saying it. She just glared at me with complete and total fury, and reached down the front of her tank top to pull her scroll from her cleavage. In seconds, she was there in her full battle regalia, wielding her bo staff, ready to beat my ass.  
“I knew there was a reason you bought two whole pizzas. A really bad reason.” She glared at me. “Don't. You dare. Touch. My sister.”  
I was glad I wasn't keeping my scroll in my cleavage at the moment, because, yeah. But I had it on me—wouldn't you like to know where—and it only took another short moment before I was in my green tunic with sword and shield at the ready. I'd do whatever it took to defend myself and Murasaki's honor. I gave Imu a determined stare down, hoping that'd say everything that needed to be said.  
Murasaki had hastily pulled her tank top back down over her chest, and her shorts back up over her butt. She was still whimpering, but this time it wasn't the pleasure kind. Nope, it was like she was about to cry. Nope, more like she was actively crying.  
“You two... s-sis... please... don't fight...”  
Imu didn't listen. She swung her staff down at me, and it would've cracked me on the head if I hadn't held up my shield at just the right moment. I would've attacked her back, but that felt like... well. I didn't want to hurt her. I wanted her and I to get along. But if she was going to start a fight, I'd end it.  
Murasaki was still crying. “Sis, I... d-don't get mad at her... she d-didn't start... I wanted this...”  
“You what?” Imu finally turned to her little sister instead of me.  
“Yeah, I... crap... it's my fault... it's all my f-fault...”  
Damn it, Murasaki. None of this was her fault. Well, maybe a little of it was, hers and mine. Maybe she and I were both naive thinking we wouldn't get caught. But most of this, I thought, was on Imu. She could've at least knocked or something. And she could have been willing to talk it out. But no, she drew her weapon right away.  
“It's not your fault,” Imu said. And for a second it felt like we would be on the same side, both of us consoling Murasaki. But of course not. “It's this stupid little—” She gestured toward me with her staff.  
I sighed and sheathed my sword. If someone had to take the high road, it might as well be me. I scurried over to the bedside table to grab my phone again, then started typing into it, before thrusting it at Imu.  
“Listen. I really don't want trouble. I'll leave now if you want me to. But don't think it'll be the last of me, because... I really like your sister, a whole lot. She's cute and sweet and shy and severely underappreciated, and I want to at least be her friend. And she seems to at least sort of like me back too. And when you and I fight, it upsets her, obviously. So, can you and I work things out? We both have the same interests at heart. We both want to make her happy. Deal?”  
Imu sighed and grumbled to herself as she read the message. But, in the end, she handed my phone back to me, her expression resigned.  
“I guess you're right,” she said. “We do both care about her and want her to be happy. Even if you are a Hanzo student, and even if Ganni seems to hate you especially much.”  
Ah, shit. That whole thing. I grabbed my phone back to type some more.  
“About that. It's probably safer for all of us if you don't be friends with her. Like, I know you Hebijo students are 'evil' and all, but she is evil on a whole different level than you guys. The reason she has it out for me is... I have a power she could use to completely rule the world, and she wants it so she really can completely rule the world. And she will kill whoever it takes to get that. So yeah.”  
“I don't know.” Imu frowned. “She is our classmate, and Miyabi thinks it's important to try to be on good terms with her.”  
“Do you do everything Miyabi says?” I typed.  
“Well, it looks like you do everything my sister says.”  
“I never said I was that smart.”  
“So you guys are good now?” Murasaki said, from her spot on the bed.  
I waited for Imu to respond first. Thankfully, she nodded. So then I nodded. Looked like we really were good now.  
“Yeah, whatever,” she said. “You two have... fun, I guess.” And she left.  
From that point on, it was a lot harder for us to get back into the mood we'd been in before we got walked in on. We were snuggled up against each other for the duration of the movie, but it was a lot more chaste now than before. Eventually, we went and brought Bebe-tan to sit back next to us, so she could be included too.  
“Sorry about that,” I typed.  
“You're fine,” Murasaki said. “I get it. Now it feels weird, knowing that sis knows you're here. Like every time I hear a creak in the hallway I feel like she's gonna come back in. So, yeah, maybe we can continue that... some other time.” I felt my face get warm at that, but I nodded. I kinda did want that to continue later on.  
The rest of the sleepover went pretty nice. We finished up all the pizza after awhile—okay, she ate about a quarter of what there was and I ate the other three quarters' worth—and we started playing some video games. She was better than me at all of them, but it didn't bother me any. Eventually, we got tired, and fell asleep snuggled up together again.  
And when I left the next morning, I went out through the front door like a normal person.  
“Morning,” Imu said, giving me a look I couldn't quite read as she sat and ate her breakfast in the kitchen. I gave her a friendly nod back. She seemed satisfied with that. “Guess I'll see you later, then?” she asked. “I mean... it does kinda seem like you're a good influence on my sister after all?” That was good to hear. I gave her a thumbs up before heading out.  
When I was safely back home, Zelda took the opportunity to butt back into my brain again.  
“I was trying to keep out during all that, so you could have your precious alone time with Murasaki...” I could practically hear her giggle in my head. “But it's just hilarious to me that... I don't know how to explain it. You're all like, I like her a lot, and I think she likes me back, and I want to be her friend. Meanwhile, you're about to go down on her. I'm pretty sure you two are more than friends.”  
Really? Was she sure? I mean, Murasaki and I hadn't exactly gone on any dates or anything, or had a real first kiss kinda thing, or...  
“What do you mean am I sure? You almost. Went down. On her.”  
Whatever. At least I managed to win over Imu somehow.  
“Still not sure how you pulled that one off, but I'm glad you did. The more allies we have in this upcoming battle, the better.”  
Yeah, don't remind me.


	15. Friendly Fire

It was the weekend, and I was trying to actually get some housework done for once in my life. Since Tris took it upon herself to cook—she wouldn't let me cook, for some reason—it was my job to clean. Dishes, laundry, dusting, and so on. I guessed it was fair. She put a lot of work into cooking, with meal planning in advance, and doing the shopping, and spending the weekend cooking enough quantity of everything that it could go in the freezer and we could just take it out and heat it up. I'm pretty sure though that this was just her way of keeping me from cooking anything ever... but anyway.  
I had the TV on while I was cleaning, because I needed some kind of background noise to stay focused. If it was just me and my thoughts with nothing else for me to focus on, my mind would go to weird places. And then I'd end up not cleaning, because I'd just be standing there thinking about other stuff. Or, worse than that, when you wonder something random—like, what was the first thing to be called orange, the fruit or the color—and then you go grab your phone to look it up online and there goes getting anything done. I needed an anchor, something to switch my focus to if I felt myself getting too distracted. So I had the news on, to glance at that if I needed to.  
(In case you were wondering, orange the fruit came first. English speaking countries called the color “yellow red” before the fruit became commonplace to them and then they named the color after the fruit. Now you don't have to go look it up. You're welcome.)  
But for now I was doing a pretty good job on focusing on cleaning. Until I heard the name of my town on the news. It caught my attention on instinct, and it was a good thing it did, because, uh...  
“Police are looking for help identifying this girl, caught on the footage of the local mall's department store. It seems she was caught trying to shoplift, and upon being stopped by security, she responded by smashing a large quantity of fragile store merchandise and fleeing the scene. If anyone has any information on her identity or whereabouts, they are urged to call—”  
Great. Just great. So now the police were looking for me?  
“You know, there's an easy solution to this,” an all too calm voice chided me in my head. “If you turn yourself in, you may get in significantly less trouble. If you financially compensate them for the damage you did, they may just let you off.”  
What? How the heck did Zelda assume I would be able to do that? Yeah, Tris and I were being given money to attend Hanzo. A mysterious benefactor, who was apparently really weirdly invested in our success as shinobi, paid our rent, bills, food, and school tuition. But I doubted that they, whoever they were, would be willing to cough up the money to pay for who knew how many yen in destroyed merchandise. Even if I knew who they were, how was I going to explain the situation to them? Hello, excuse me, rich powerful person, my inherent tendency for extreme property damage has landed me in a situation that I need vast sums of money to get out of. That'd go over well.  
“No, you idiot. I know you don't have the funds to pay it.”  
Then what?  
“I could pay for it for you. I could give the store enough money to replace everything you broke and then some.”  
I stopped dusting right where I was and smacked the duster down on the table in reflexive frustration. I would not let her do that for me. I didn't want her to have to spend that much on my behalf because I was an idiot.  
“Then how else do you plan to resolve this?”  
I puffed out my cheeks in huffiness, even though it wasn't like she could see me. Well, she'd be able to tell I was doing it anyway, with her weird telepathy powers. I had to admit she was kinda right. I didn't exactly have a plan for what I'd do. But...   
“If they really want me, they'd better come get me,” I told Zelda in my head. “And they aren't gonna take me down without a fight.”  
“That’s... the most horrible idea I’ve ever heard.”  
“I have the power of a shinobi scroll. They don’t. Their guns aren’t much more powerful than Ryona’s. I can take them.”  
“You are not fighting the police.” I could hear her exasperated sigh in my head.  
“Why not? Fuck the police.”  
“Are you kidding me?” I could practically hear her shaking her head at me through our mental bond. “You’ve been a soldier in the royal guard in a number of your reincarnations. You’ve been the police.”  
“Fuck the police!”  
“You’re going to school to be a shinobi that works for the government. Once you graduate, you’re going to be used for stuff like crime fighting and gathering intel alongside the police.”  
“Fuck the police!” I crossed my arms in a huff, even though once again, she couldn't see me. “I’m not letting you pay for my mistake.”  
“If I beat you to within an inch of your life, you will.” What?!  
“You want to fight me over this?”  
“Yes, because you're being an idiot. So it's for your own good. You know there was a girl who went to Hanzo who had to kill someone in self defense just to save her own life, and Hanzo kicked her out for it? She had to transfer to Hebijo. So, really, be careful. You’re going to get yourself killed. Or worse. Expelled.”  
Expelled?!  
“I know, right? Consequences? For your actions? It’s more likely than you think.”  
Ugh.  
“Really, the shinobi world is bound by strict codes of honor and duty and propriety and all that. If you don’t do exactly as you’re told, you’ll end up a renegade that both the good and evil sides will be instructed to kill.”  
Now I was the one sighing in exasperation. “Okay, fine. You’ve convinced me. You don’t have to kick my ass to get me to listen to you.” Then I thought about it for a second. “Although... you should try to kick my ass anyway.”  
“Why? If you’re going to get off on it—“  
“I’m not, I swear. I just want a friendly sparring match against you, just to see what you’re made of.”  
“All right, then. I can do it today, if you'd like. Perhaps at that derelict playground where you met Ryobi and Ryona the first time. That way, if you end up destroying property by accident again, you won't get in trouble this time.” How'd she even know about that? Whatever. I'd given up questioning her. “You'd best get your household chores done first, though. So, you do that, and I'll go about contacting the police about paying the department store on your behalf. All right?”   
I sighed, but relented. “That works for me, I guess...” And I tried my best to finish up cleaning, having to shift my focus back to it all over again. Damn it. That's always the hardest part.  
Eventually, though, I did get it done, and started heading to the fenced off and abandoned old playground in the more broke area of the town. It'd be weird, seeing someone like Zelda being in that area, given how well to do she was. Part of me was like, crap, what if someone mugs her? But then I realized she was the one who suggested that area in the first place, and, well... if someone did try to mug her, they'd be in for a surprise when she started whipping out her shinobi skills.  
Not that I knew exactly what her shinobi skills were, since I'd never seen her use them. But I was about to find out. Because there she was.  
Zelda greeted me with a polite nod. “There you are. It's always a delight to see you.” She gave a dainty giggle. “Are you ready to get utterly destroyed, then?” And she held out her hand for me to shake.  
I shook it politely, but I gave her a look. And in my head, I shot her a retort. “No, sorry, I don't get destroyed. I'm ready to fight, but don't think I'll lose.”  
And with that, it was on.  
She’d focused her power into her scroll, and had transformed into her battle outfit, which was... well. It definitely had an appropriately shinobi look to it. Her hair was tucked behind her in a braid. It and her face were covered by a veil that made it hard to tell who she was. And her clothes, blue with an oddly familiar eye emblem on the chest, would never get in her way or restrict her movement, because they were skin tight. And when I said skin tight, I meant it. It might as well have been painted on. Like, her boobs already looked huge when they strained at her school uniform top’s tidy buttons, but now... well, Kat would be having a field day.   
But I would not let myself get distracted. I focused my power into my scroll too, and got into a defensive stance, ready to parry whatever it was she was going to try. I waited for her to attack first though, since I really wanted to see what she was made of.  
That was kinda a mistake, since she whipped out a kunai from who knows where, and with perfect aim, chucked it at me at about knee level. She'd aimed it lower than the area covered by my shield, but above my boots, where I had nothing protecting me. I swerved to avoid it but couldn't in time, and it sliced at my thigh, snagging the skirt part of my tunic in the process and tearing it. I stumbled, and in the time it took me to right myself, she'd tossed down something onto the ground that burst with smoke and light. I flinched instinctively, and once the smoke cleared, she wasn't even there anymore.  
Yeah, now she was behind me.  
I spent a second charging up a spin attack, at the same moment she was charging directly at me. When she jumped at me, another kunai in hand, she collided with the spinning blade, and was flung backwards. I turned to face her, hoping to get a few slices in before she could recover, but she'd already somersaulted back upright with amazing speed. I went ahead to try to slice at her anyway, but she managed to let a bunch of kunai fly at me at once. And of course, since I was running right at her, I got hit by all of them.  
Slice, and there went the rest of the part of my tunic that was covering my butt. Slice, and there went the part of it that was covering my stomach. Slice, and there went the part of it covering my chest. Soon it was reduced to scraps, that were meekly held against me by my belt and the strap holding my scabbard to my back. Other than that? Bra and panties.  
You know. The usual.  
When my clothes were gone, so was any pretense of strategy or defense. I kept trying to get a hit on her, any kind I could. But now she was the one acting defensively, dodging every swing of my sword with a swift hop or roll. If I got too close to her, she'd do that thing again where she tossed down a smoke bomb or whatever, and completely ended up somewhere else the moment the smoke cleared.   
So I decided to go for another tactic entirely, and started by involving the broken down playground equipment in our battle. I sheathed my sword, then ran at the rusty monkey bars, jumping up at them, grabbing the first bar, and hoisting myself up onto the top of them. I scrambled along them until I got close enough to jump to the top of the pole, and then hoisted myself over that. I was on the top of the playground equipment now, and swung myself down to tuck myself into the treehouse type structure at the top of the covered slide. I'd forgotten for the moment that she could easily read my mind, and that she knew exactly where I was hiding. Instead, I nocked an arrow to my bow, and tried to aim at her from between the cracked planks of the playground equipment.  
She'd stopped running just long enough to look around for where I'd fled to, and I managed to get her with one arrow. Just one. But it was enough to rip open the chest part of her battle outfit. And she didn't even have a bra on underneath. Just little band-aid type stickers covering her nipples. I guessed it was hard to fit a bra under something so skin tight? And she didn't even seem fazed. As soon as she saw where the arrow had shot from, she sent a flurry of kunai that way.  
And, since this poor abandoned playground was made of such creaky rusty metal, chipping rotting wood, and cracking plastic, the kunai took down the playhouse wall that was protecting me. The poor boards splintered apart like they hadn't even existed, and I ended up with a bunch of wooden shards down my bra. Now nothing was protecting me from her next set of kunai throws, and I had to roll sideways to escape them, getting splinters in my cleavage as I did so. Damn it. There wasn't time to try to get the wood out, so I just kind of whipped off my bra anyway. I'd fought without one before, so no big deal.  
I rolled to dodge her attack again, but found myself inside the covered slide, now sliding backward toward the entrance. That didn't stop her from attacking me. With a bunch of furious thunks, she kept throwing her knives into the slide's plastic, each of them cutting holes in it, creating widening cracks. As I clambered out of the slide, I shot a thought at her.   
“You think I'm bad with property damage. Now look who it is.”  
“I'm quite sure they intend to demolish this playground anyway, to build a new one, once they have enough funds,” she called to me across the field, a warm laugh in her voice. “We're doing them a favor, helping alleviate some of the demolition costs.” And with that, she tossed a bunch more kunai at me, for me to have to duck and dodge. They missed me, but they all got lodged in a large support beam that was holding up the whole playground...  
I dashed toward her, and not a moment too late. The support beam was splintering apart due to the impact of all those sharp blades in it, and the whole entire playhouse part started sloping down toward the ground at an angle. The thing was creaking and crunching like if anything else hit it then it'd tumble down entirely. So of course she threw more kunai at it. And it did, falling to rubble almost right on top of me. I dove forward to avoid it.  
“Were you trying to hit me with the entire playground?” I snapped at her in my head.  
“You could handle it,” she said, barely able to get the words out, incapacitated by her own giggling. She was entirely too amused by what she almost just did. I caught up with her and shoved her backwards, pulling my sword back out again and brandishing it at her. But I was pretty tired from all that crap, huffing and puffing in exertion, which was weird in combination with the fact that I was totally topless. I didn't want this to have to go on much further.  
“I think we should call this a draw,” I thought to her.  
“I suppose we could,” she said, still laughing. “But I think that's awfully generous of me. After all, I got more hits on you than you did on me, and you are certainly in a worse state of undress. Really, we could say I won. But I do feel charitable, so we will go with the draw.”  
I huffed at her, but gave her a curt nod, before sheathing my sword again and collapsing to the ground next to her to try to catch my breath. We should've probably focused power into our scrolls again, to go back to normal and repair our outfits, but I think we both needed a moment. I mean, it wasn't like anyone else besides us trespassed onto this worn out—okay, now completely broken down—closed playground. So it wasn't like anyone was gonna see—  
“What are you two bimbos doing?” A familiar voice was calling out from outside the fence. I turned to see who it was. Ryobi, with Ryona in tow. Great.  
Zelda stood up, seemingly not caring that she was in a half ripped up skin tight ninja outfit with her nipples concealed by band-aids only. She smiled as serenely as ever.  
“We were simply sparring, that's all. Should I... know you?” Oh, yeah. They hadn't met before.   
I quickly gave a half hearted wave to the two sisters, mostly just to reassure Ryobi that I knew who she was. I didn't want her to accuse me of forgetting her, and finding a way to blame it on the fact that my chest is too big and I am therefore stupid, and then threaten to shoot my tits off my body.  
“I know that dumbass.” Ryobi gestured toward me. “I'm guessing you're one of her dumbass friends.”  
“You could say that, yes.” Zelda didn't even acknowledge Ryobi's foul mouthed insults. Like she was just taking the high road by ignoring them. “Are you a shinobi student as well?”  
Of course, Ryona took the moment to butt into the conversation. “Yeah. I'm Ryona, and that's my sister Ryobi, and we're part of the elite class at Hebijo. We dance for the honor of evil!”  
“How many times do I have to tell you that's the kind of thing we keep a secret?” Ryobi said, looking like she was resisting the urge to slap Ryona, only because she knew she'd like it too much. I was glad. I didn't want poor Zelda to have to see Ryona's pervy masochism in action.  
“Ah. If it makes you feel better, I can tell you that my name is Zelda, and I attend Gessen. I suppose, then, that it makes us enemies. Though, I'd rather not be enemies with anyone I don't have to. The two of us would gladly be on good terms with you. Unless, of course, you happen to side with Ganondorf, in which case, we would have to destroy you. I know she is your classmate, but she is danger, even for you. So, I hope you make the right choice, if it ever comes to it.”   
How is it she could always threaten violence to people with such a serene, graceful smile? Sometimes it seems a little sociopathic.  
“I'm not sociopathic, just polite,” she said, turning toward me just to chide me. “Everyone knows all of us shinobi are capable of violence when necessary. But part of being a good shinobi is knowing when it is and isn't necessary, and part of being a good person is being honorable and polite, even in the moments when you do have to be violent.”  
“No one said you were sociopathic, you—” It looked like Zelda was going to have to explain her telepathic connection with me to Ryobi. But thankfully Ryona took things in... another direction.  
“Ooh, ooh, you know our classmate Ganni-chan? I like her. She's extremely violent. It's like, she's all about using force to get whatever she wants. And she hits me whenever I get on her nerves. So I make sure to get on her nerves a lot. It's so much fun.”  
Zelda's eyes went wide. I felt myself cringing.  
“Ryona is an extremely perverse masochist,” I told Zelda in my head. “Please try not to start shit with her. For one thing, she and my sister are an item. For another thing, you can't win with her. It's like the saying about how you should never wrestle with a pig, because you both get dirty and the pig likes it? No matter what nasty thing you say to Ryona, no matter how you attack her, she likes it. She always likes it. So don't do it.”  
Zelda nodded. “It seems as though we are on opposite sides of a conflict, then,” she said, trying to keep her smile from faltering for even a moment. “Perhaps Linkle and I should take our leave. I don't want there to be violence for the sake of violence, and... hmm. Perhaps when Ganondorf is rendered no longer a threat to us or the shinobi world at large, we can try once more to be friends?”  
Ryona was pouting. “You're not gonna fight me then? You're not gonna beat me up? You're not gonna call me a dumb bitch and hit me?”  
“I-I'm sorry, Ryona. Perhaps... another time?” Zelda tried to laugh, but it came out nervous. “Let's... let's head out of here.” And she focused her energy in her scroll to repair her clothing so we could go.  
I did the same, following her away as quickly as I could. As we passed Ryobi and Ryona for the last time that day, I gave them a wave goodbye, and a noncommittal shrug, to try to acknowledge that yeah, we were on opposite sides of a conflict, but I didn't have anything against them personally. Like, even if it was weird, I was totally fine with Ryona and Tris being a thing. I mean, there was the possibility that Murasaki and I could end up a thing, and I wouldn't want anyone judging me for that.  
“You and Murasaki are already a thing,” Zelda murmured to me, shaking her head.  
“Are you sure?”  
“Of course I'm sure. You're just impossibly dense is all.”  
Hmph.


End file.
